Paranormal Host
by sunfir3
Summary: Ryan Buell has a lot on his hands to deal with but Emma has a problem only Ryan can solve. Ryan's days as a paranormal investigator just got a whole lot more interesting. Post Paranormal State.
1. The Beginning

****Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any references to Paranormal State nor do I claim to have extensive knowledge of the Paranormal. I also do not claim that anything I say about Mr. Ryan Daniel Buell is true. I am only the owner of the plot. So...that's it :)****

**Ryan**

It had been a long and exhausting day to say the least. Ryan picked up his jacket from his desk chair and slowly pulled it on. All he wanted was to get home, feed Xander, and settle down for the night with a good book.

Halloween was the busiest time of the year for them and there was only a month to prepare for the tours, speeches, and countless fans pouring in from all over the world in the hope to catch a glimpse of a ghost and of course Ryan.

He sighed and reluctantly picked up his over the shoulder bag. He said goodbye to the five other people in the office before heading out for the night.

He admired his staff and friends. They were dedicated and loyal. That was something he had lucked out with in life. Most of his former cast members had decided to part ways into various careers or hobbies. He smiled when he remembered the pictures Sergey had sent him via email from Texas.

Heather still worked on some cases from time to time. Katrina had her own show to worry about but Ryan had offered to help her as much as he could. Josh and Elfie still worked with Ryan most days but they also had things of their own.

He hadn't felt this exhausted since his first year with Paranormal State. It had all been so much so soon. Classes, the show, his life. He shook his head and sighed. He was a couple of blocks away from his house, he could make it.

His phone rang signaling a text from Susan. The head hancho in charge when Ryan couldn't come into work.

_Did you get my email this morning?_

Ryan groaned. He had forgotten to write back, now he would have it. He decided he could pretend to have missed her text, maybe he would drop his phone in the toilet. That's how much he didn't want to talk to Susan right now. He trusted her judgment but every once in a while she would receive a case from the interns and pester Ryan until he looked at it. Normally she would shove it in a pile of papers he had to sign or letters he had to read. This time she had emailed him instead of waiting to come back from her leave.

His phone rang again and he reluctantly looked down to press read.

_I know you're ignoring me asshole. If you don't write back I'll call you until you answer._

He had to laugh at that. Him being her boss didn't stop her from acting just as she would outside the offices. It was good she was in Maine dealing with moving down to Pennsylvania to be able to work for him better. He wouldn't have to face her until she came back and by then hopefully she will have forgotten about this case.

He had read it, but it was very vague. Some girl having visions. He had seen it all before. These were the cases Susan especially liked. She was a bit psychic herself but as Michelle (Bellanger) had once described her as, she was a rebellious little gypsy.

His phone started ringing earnestly. He cursed a little too loudly while passing a couple on a bench, startling them. His guilt about not answering her texts pushed him over and he found himself answering her.

"Oh Susan, how I've miss you so…" he started, barely keeping his smile away. He really did miss her. She was organized and professional when she had to be. She eased a lot of the tension in the office when Ryan got in one of his moods. In lame terms, she was his better half.

"Oh shut up," she said laughing into the speaker, "Listen I didn't get a response from you this morning, what do you think about the case?"

"Susan," he moaned like a little child being told to go clean his room, or worse, do the dishes, "It's almost Halloween, I can't believe you're suggesting I take a case now-"

He heard her groan in the background and possibly kick something, "Ryan Daniel Buell, I don't know how you get through life by only reading half of your emails."

Ryan was confused and before he could ask what she meant she started to explain, "Michelle wrote me before I left. She told me she had a friend staying over and that she needed help. I told her I would do the best I could. Then when I got here she sent me her case and she's fascinating Ryan…you don't even know."

"Yeah Susan, I don't know. I can't take a case I know nothing about," he was near his house so he started walking a little faster, "what makes this girl so special?" he asked.

"Ah isn't THAT the million dollar question hun," Susan said sounding a little morbid instead of teasing.

"What do you mean?" asked Ryan pulling out his keys even though he still had a couple houses to go.

Susan sighed and turned serious suddenly, "Ryan, just meet her. It's not really any of my business to be telling you hers. Besides I have to go and continue packing. I'll email you the confirm dates for the tours and the times of your speeches at the local colleges." With that she hung up and Ryan breathed hard into the speaker.

He walked into his house and waited for Xander to tackle him. As expected he came running down the stairs and slid to a stop at his feet barking and spazzing out.

"Hey boy you hungry?" he said running his hands through Xander's hair and ears. He led him over to the kitchen and gave him some dog food. Ryan stood by his counter contemplating the conversation he had just had with Susan.

She wasn't telling him something. That wasn't like Susan. She wasn't a gossip but she never kept anything from him unless it was important or unless it really wasn't any of her business. He decided he'd re read the email after a long hot shower.

He never did get to the email. He passed out on his bed after he finished his nighttime routine and with the promise of reading the email tomorrow he fell into a peaceful sleep.

Ryan woke up in a less than peaceful way early the next morning. Slightly uncomfortable and embarrassed he wobbled over to his shower to turn the sprayer on. While he waited for the water to warm up but not so much he washed his face and brushed his teeth.

The slight pink tint that lay on his cheeks remained even after the cold water hit it. Ryan closed his eyes and tried to breathe normally again. _I'm not a teenage boy damnit!_

His breathing evened but nothing below the belt did. Ryan undressed and stepped into the warm shower. He reached for the knob and switched it all the way to cold as he closed his eyes again. He let the icy water wash over his shoulders and head all the way down to his feet.

He loved her green eyes, full lips and long hair. Her laugh, her walk and her embrace. And he didn't even know her name.

Ryan sighed and leaned against the wall. He was tempted to just reach down and relieve himself but it felt wrong. Any other person, any other girl, and he would have. But she felt special. The girl of his dreams, literally.

He had been seeing her during sleep for the past month and it was getting ridiculous. He kept telling himself it was the stress of the time of year. He may have seen her in passing one day and his subconscious had taken over from there.

Ryan shook his head. No, he would have remembered those eyes. They would have made him stop in his tracks or knock the breath out of him.

The cold water started to work and soon he found himself drying up and dressing to go to the gym. He would call Michelle and set a date to meet this girl from the case. Maybe if he dealt with it now Susan would back off for a few months until his schedule went back to normal.

**Review :)**


	2. Settling In

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any references to Paranormal State nor do I claim to have extensive knowledge of the Paranormal. I also do not claim that anything I say about Mr. Ryan Daniel Buell is true. I am only the owner of the plot. So...that's it :)**

**A/N at the end.  
><strong>

**Emma**

"Are you sure this is okay?" I asked Michelle who was across the room in the kitchen, helping me unpack some plates.

She didn't look up from her chore but I could just tell she was rolling her eyes, "Of course Emma, that couch looks lovely next to that lamp."

I chucked a pillow her way but it missed her by a few feet and I hurried to pick it up while Michelle laughed her pretty little head off at me. Bending over to grab the pillow and shake off some dust I clarified, "You know what I mean, but thanks I thought the lamp and couch went really nice next to each other."

"Mhmm," she picked up another plate, unwrapped it and took it to a cabinet. When she turned around I was faced with a serious Michelle, "He told me he wanted to meet you, hear you out."

I treaded back into the living room, away from Michelle and away from the impending confrontation with a certain attractive ghost hunter.

"I don't know Michelle," I said as I started organizing magazines on the coffee table, "it took him a while to call you, he'll think I'm a nut-"

"Hey!" she pointed a plate in my direction quite viciously, "I recommended you, he values my opinion and once you tell him your story he'll understand why you're so important, you are no nut."

I returned to my task and said under my breath, "I know quite a few important people who are nuts."

"I heard that!" she yelled. I only smiled. I couldn't just cancel the most important meeting of my life. Ryan Buell was attractive, intelligent, and successful. He was also extremely Catholic. It was in his DNA to be a skeptic about things I knew a little more than I cared for.

I heard Michelle come around the table where she had been working and I turned around to find her holding a glass of water in her hand, "Here drink this and try to calm down," she handed me two Advil and I silently thanked her. Moving across the country was tiring.

"You forget my dear dear friend that he's been in your position, he's been haunted before," she said sitting down next to my lamp.

"I know but-"

"Let me talk Emma," she said with a warning in her voice, "When people come to me, there are signs that let people like Ryan and I know if they're lying or if they're truly in need of help."

I nodded and sat down across from her on the other couch, "Their stories may be inconsistent or they contradict themselves often. We understand haunting's because we've been there. I grew up with ghosts and I didn't even know it! The paranormal was…I don't know, normal? In my house hold. It was different for Ryan, as I know it is for you. He will know you are telling the truth."

I set the glass of water on table already feeling better but then that dreadful feeling came over me again, "What if he believes me but refuses to help?"

"If I know Ryan, which I hope I do," she said slowly, "then I know he'll help you even if he has to keep a constant watch over you."

I raised my eyebrow but shrugged it off when Michelle didn't continue. Eventually we returned to unpacking and I thanked who ever was watching over me that I had such an amazing friend. Sometimes I forgot how much wiser Michelle was than the ordinary person. Well she was no ordinary person. I could only hope for Ryan to see what Michelle sees in me. Honesty and turmoil.

_Later that night_

I was sitting in my living room alone, letting the silence comfort me. I could have moments when all I craved was solace. The presence of another person was so stressful sometimes. I figured it was because I had to be polite and have a conversation with them about how great their life was. I had to care about what they were saying or include them some how. After letting them indulge in my presence by socially acceptable standards I would feel exhausted.

I thought everyone behaved like this. It wasn't until after I met Michelle and her incredible friends that I realized, I was a sensitive. There was something indescribable (to an extent) about me. She told me I was like her. I could feel energy and because of that, I was effected by it as well.

I didn't do well in large groups unless I was enjoying myself. But even fun in excess is dangerous. I passed out cold in Disneyland. Try having to explain that everyone enjoying themselves was a health risk to the little princess emergency care unit. Not really.

My silence was disrupted momentarily my Michelle's snoring. The one thing I hated about her. I sighed and made my way over to my completely unpacked kitchen. I took out a tea bag and poured some water in a pan.

I was so exhausted but I needed to ensure a full night of sleep. I would be meeting a Mr. Ryan Buell tomorrow and I didn't want to look like death.

I heard a car door open and close outside so I went to the window to eavesdrop on my neighbors. The bad thing about my new place was that it was more of a house/apartment. I had a front lawn and all that jazz but I had to share a wall with my middle aged, child bearing neighbors. Another reason to have a full night sleep. That child could keep up a whole town.

They were arguing and their kid was wailing. I loved kids but I didn't appeal to them. That didn't stop me from hoping that I could have a few in years to come. But right now…kids were at the bottom of my list.

As soon as we arrived the night before Michelle suggested we go for some drinks in celebration of my arrival to Pennsylvania. Of course she only said that after we heard my neighbors 3 month old began to cry. Only a baby crying could bring Michelle to a blubbering drunken mess.

I poured myself my tea and grabbed my new pair of ear plugs, courtesy of Michelle and made my way to my room. Tomorrow would be one of those days to remember.

**a/n: **uh. Hi. If you're reading this than you are one in a million. Seeing as the Paranormal State category was taken down I have decided to also post this story on tumblr. I know I know...I'm crazy but I have made it incredibly simple to read and review on there too. If you don't believe me, go to my main page here on fanfiction and click on the brave-lion link.

**PLEASE REVIEW :)**


	3. The Meeting Part 1

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any references to Paranormal State nor do I claim to have extensive knowledge of the Paranormal. I also do not claim that anything I say about Mr. Ryan Daniel Buell is true. I am only the owner of the plot. So...that's it :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Ryan<strong>

"Hi Ryan!" The waitress yelled when she noticed Ryan enter the coffee shop, "the usual?" she screeched.

Ryan only nodded and made sure to choose the table furthest from the counter. He sighed and laid his head on his hands. He shut his eyes and let out another sigh. It had been one of those nights again. Her beautiful green eyes had devoured him whole. Her heavenly voice still drifted through his ears and her gentle touch-

Touch…wait someone was touching him.

Ryan looked up and blinked a couple of times.

"Sorry I didn't want to disturb you, you seemed concentrated…" she smiled and gripped the strap of her over the shoulder bag tighter. When Ryan didn't respond she started shifting her weight.

"You?" he whispered. This was the girl. The GIRL of his dreams. LITERALLY.

She looked confused and then a look of recognition took over her features, "Oh! I'm so rude, my name is Emma. Michelle said this is where you wanted to meet." She extended her hand and waited for him to take it.

Ryan jumped up and blushed. He took her soft hand in his and shook it, almost violently, "Please sit."

She took off her bag and sat it on the floor next to her. The waitress came with Ryan's usual coffee and set it in front of him.

"Is there anything else I can do for you Ryan," she said leaning in, making sure she was showing plenty of cleavage. Emma looked shyly away but Ryan didn't even notice.

"No I'm fine," he glanced at the waitress and then back at Emma, "Would you like anything?"

"Just a water," she said quietly, "bottled please." The waitress huffed and left. The table was silent. Ryan couldn't believe that the girl of his dreams was sitting next to him. He felt like a 13 year old on his first date with his crush. But this girl, Emma; she needed his help.

The waitress returned with Emma's water and placed it on the table. She left without asking if there was anything else she needed but Emma looked relieved to have something to busy herself with.

"Are you okay? You seem…agitated," she said leaning over the table. Ryan caught a whiff of her perfume and nearly took her then and there.

"I'm f-fine…" he managed to get out.

"Maybe we should reschedule," she said standing up and reaching for her bag.

"NO!" he yelled and every head in the room turned to look at their table. "I mean, I had a long night. Please stay."

"Oh…okay," she sat down slowly and began playing with the cap of her bottle. This was going nowhere. Fast.

"Have we met before?" he asked.

She looked up with the same green sparkling eyes from his dreams, just like they had every night for weeks. "No, I would have remembered meeting Ryan Buell."

He chuckled and felt a little more at ease.

**Emma**

"No, I would have remembered meeting Ryan Buell," I said. I actually said THAT. Was I crazy? I might as well tell him to have my babies. But it was true. Lying about how important he was, was ridiculous.

"So, umm the reason we're both here…" I started to say nervously. Instantly I noticed a change in Ryan. It was as if a more serious version of the previous Ryan was suddenly present.

"Michelle said we have a haunting in our hands," he said in his trademark deep voice. I almost forgot to nod, I was feeling star struck.

My water bottle was instantly far more interesting than it had been before, "Uh yeah, she tried her best but she's not too sure what exactly it is."

"What do you mean?" he asked leaning forward. He was staring straight into my eyes, completely concentrated now.

I gathered my thoughts to respond, "Maybe I should start at the beginning. It's a kind of long story."

"Okay," he said. He didn't look away and he didn't back up into his seat, he stayed exactly how he was.

"Um…well everything started happening during the beginning of my senior year of college. I went to Berkeley University in California," Ryan's eyebrows shot up but I didn't allow him to comment about the school. I was used to getting overwhelming compliments but right now there were far more pressing issues than the school I attended, "I was out with my best friend and well…we have history together. His girlfriend and a friend of hers followed us to a park near the university and caught us sharing a kiss. The whole situation was a disaster. And it turned into a nightmare."

"Okay…" he said slowly. "I'm not sure where this is going, what does your umm love life have to do with the haunting?" he asked.

"I'm getting to it," I said recalling the horrid night, "Well Katie, my best friend's girlfriend; was in a rage and she left to her car without saying a thing. We knew she would eventually confront us so we made our way to our car as well. It turns out that Katie's car didn't start up. The bay area isn't exactly safe and she didn't have insurance. None of us had our phones with us, and it's so ridiculous that in this day n' age we would all just happen to have forgotten them. So we very awkwardly told her and her friend that we could drive them home."

"Most awkward act of kindness, did you think karma wouldn't get you back for kissing her boyfriend?" he said jokingly.

"I stopped believing in karma that night…" I said gravely, "They sat in the back while my friend drove and I sat in the passenger seat. Nobody talked for a long time, it was so awkward and I felt horrible.

We were at a stop light when a 16 wheeler rammed into us." I stopped for a moment, I didn't want to start crying before I even reached the end of my story. Ryan reached over the table and took my hand. It was comforting and it gave me the courage to continue, "Katie and her friend were instantly…killed. My friend and I, we sustained minor injuries but…we haven't talked since. I think he blames himself, I kinda blame us too…" my voice broke and I had to look away. Reliving that tragic moment was harder when I talked about it out loud than recalling it in my memories.

"I'm really sorry," he said simply. There really wasn't anything else he could say so he just held my hand and I tried to put myself back together.

"Umm…after the accident I tried to go back to my studies and basically drown myself into work and classes. I thought it was working, everything was taking my mind off the accident but then things changed."

Ryan gave my hand a gentle squeeze and a smile that definitely lifted my spirits, "I had gotten an internship at a publishing house in San Francisco. I worked there during the weekends and some week nights. Like I was saying before, the Bay Area isn't the safest place around so I tried to get back to my apartment before dark but it was never easy.

One night after a tough day at the company and after my finals I got on the Bart back to Berkeley but I fell asleep. I missed my stop and when I managed to get back to Berkeley it was really dark. I hurried into the city and I thank my lucky stars that there were a lot of people out. But I saw the silhouette of a man with a bowlers hat, across the street from me. At first I didn't think anything about it. It was dark and the only lights on where of the street lights. And there were people walking all around. I was nearly to my apartment building when I noticed we were the only two left on the block. He just stood there…"

I stopped to catch my breath but also to recall the events of that night a little more clearly, "He stood off to the side of a lamp post. Light was falling all around him and yet I couldn't see a single detail of him. He was just a solid dark mass. It freaked me out so I started running but then things got a little too real. There was a man with a knife standing at the entrance of my building. One minute a black entity is following me and the next I'm being robbed.

"Wow," was all Ryan said. I nodded enthusiastically, "What happened next?"

"The thing that always happens, someone saved me," I said watching as Ryan's faced changed. I saw the skepticism. "A campus patrol car was passing by and he saw the guy try to corner me, I was fine and the guy didn't take anything away from me. He was chased down by the officer. I looked back to see if the mysterious black mass was still there and he wasn't."

"How many times has something like this happened?" He asked.

"So many I've lost count," I said gravely.

* * *

><p><strong>There's part one! I'm going to try to finish the rest by Saturday but I can't promise anything. No later than Monday though! I do have another story to update! (:<strong>

**Leave your reviews! **


	4. The Meeting Part 2

Ryan took his hand off mine and leaned back into his chair. He gave me a cold hard stare. He didn't say anything but I could feel the skepticism rolling off of him.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me," I said reaching for my bag again, "I told Michelle a million times but she wouldn't listen." I got up, grabbed my water and tried to walk away but his hand reached out for my wrist and held me in place.

"I'm sorry," he said simply, "I'm just having a hard time digesting all of this." He let go of my hand and I stood there not really sure if I should go or stay, "I want to hear more," he said, a little plead in his voice. I had hoped that with the first incident he would have believed me but I knew right away that I had to tell him the complete truth.

I sighed and sat down again. I looked away from him to a couple at a table a few feet from where we sat. They sat at opposite ends of their table but their faces were inches apart. They were so free and I just felt so stuck. Ryan cleared his throat and I turned to look at him. Really look at him. This was THE Ryan Buell. Paranormal investigator. If anyone could help, it was him. And for more than the fact that he was an investigator. He was already so involved…

"How did you meet Michelle?" he asked.

That was as good a place to start as any, "A few days after the encounter with the man; I saw him again, and again, and again. And every time something bad would happen afterwards. I don't mean paper cut bad, mostly 'I could die' kind of bad. So I eventually sought help."

"How bad where the situations?" he asked in his trademark deep voice, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Uh…" Emma said distracted by his lips on that lucky lucky cup, "Oh right, well I almost got hit by a car who ran a light, a cop horse went wild right near me during a school rally, and I nearly got into an elevator which had faulty lines in it. The building I worked in was incredibly old and management still had not updated their codes," I explained.

"And each time you saw the dark mass?" he asked, again very skeptically.

"Yes," I said stronger than I intended, "And I still do, but every time someone or something intercepts me."

He looked confused so I decided to explain, "My friend pulled me back when the car ran the stop light, a guy pushed me aside when the horse went wild, and a co-worker pulled me aside right before I got into the elevator. I thought the man was some kind of omen." I tried not to roll my eyes, "I mean, it's a kinda shitty omen if you ask me."

He smirked slightly at my cursing, "care to explain?"

"Hmm," I sighing, "if this thing, whatever it is, really wants me dead that desperately it probably shouldn't keep showing up every time I'm about to die. It gives it away a bit."

"And you're absolutely sure this man is malignant?" he asked.

"Well that's why I sought Michelle in the first place," maybe I could get away with getting around how involved he was, "I had read Michelle's book before starting college, I went through a paranormal phase," his eyebrows arched and I instantly regretted saying that, "I'm not some naïve attention seeking teenager, I didn't delve into any dark magic or dark paranormal activity. I merely read."

He nodded and I decided it was a safe to continue again, "I knew she could help me identify the energy around the entity. I personally felt fear and anger every time it appeared. I needed someone to confirm this. So I packed a few bags and took a trip to Ohio."

"Wow," Ryan said, "you must have really wanted to get rid of that thing."

"I still do," I said picking up my water bottle and playing with the lid, "I had emailed her before hand and explained my situation. We had talked a couple times through the phone and she suggested I visit her. I'm surprised my plane didn't go down, my life had taken such a drastic turn I immediately recognized situations I could land myself dead in.

Anyway, I arrived at her house and she noticed there was something peculiar about me. We felt really comfortable around each other and I could control my anxiety about my happenings a lot better. Turns out I'm a lot like Michelle."

"You can control energy too?" he asked. I noticed happily that he said it with awe.

"Possibly," I muttered, "I haven't tried and I don't really want too, at least not now. I want to get rid of this first."

He nodded in understanding, "Did she witness an attack?"

"Yes, the second day I was there we were out for some coffee. We were driving to the shop when I saw the man again but this time I had Michelle with me and she saw him as well. She told me later that upon seeing him she didn't register a change in energy. It was only after we saw a car speeding towards us that she felt a dreadful feeling come over her. She swerved and miss the drunk driver. Instantly it was like we were relieved of that suffocating feeling. Maybe it was happiness form not being killed but at least she had seen the man and noticed the energy change."

Ryan leaned back and let out a deep breath. "It sounds like it wants you dead….bad."

"There's more, a lot more," I said, "After the crash, after the initial accident with the thief. I also started seeing Katie in my dreams. I felt so bad, I blame myself everyday for what happened," I got a little choked up and I felt Ryan's hands on both of mine this time. "I-I apologized a million times to her, in my dreams and out loud. After a while she just went away but I'm afraid that this thing was sent by her."

Ryan started shaking his head but I interrupted anything he was going to say, "I know you were raised a certain way and I know you have a way of doing this but so do I. I was raised to believe in demons and angels and spirits. I have an open mind about all of this and I don't disregard the possibility that this could have happened. Michelle says it all the time, there are no concrete answers to the paranormal. I sustain that this is a possibility."

I noticed his jaw harden. He stayed quiet for some time but he never let go of my hands, "I understand," he said, "that you want answers and that this is all you have at the moment. I'm just a little confused about something."

"What?" I asked already knowing what he was going to ask.

"Why me?" he asked, "Why is it so important that I take this case?"

I looked down and pulled my hands away from his, "Every night, after I see the man…I see you. In my dreams and you're always saving me. I relive those moments in dreams with such clarity but instead of my friend, or the guy, or my co-worker…even Michelle, it's you who's saving me."

"They're just dreams," he said, "You want someone to save you and your subconscious puts me there."

I shook my head no, "It's more than that…I dream about you every night. I don't know what else to make of it, if you say no, one day there won't be anyone there to save me. I know it's not fair to put you into this mix like this but I just need help, I can't do this much longer."

Ryan's eyes soften but he didn't say anything. He just sat there quietly. Perhaps he was contemplating actually helping me or thinking of a way to get himself out of this situation as fast as possible.

"I'll do what I can," he said finally. I was so over come with joy I leaped onto my feet and tackled him into his chair.

"Thank you so much, thank you thank you thank you!" we were attracting attention again but I didn't care. And apparently neither did he. He pulled me closer and rubbed smooth circles onto my back as I continued to thank him.

Review (:


	5. Invitation

**Emma**

* * *

><p>After talking to Ryan at the coffee shop my hopes had gone up. Whatever predicament I had landed myself in finally seemed to have a solution. There was a light at the end of the tunnel now and it was all because of Michelle and Ryan.<p>

Never since this all started, had I dreamt of meeting someone like those two. Inside I was hot mess and I only hoped that outside I was looking a lot better. Perhaps I shouldn't have pulled Ryan out of his chair to hug him and thank him some more but I did either way. I could only hope that he not change his mind once he started seeing what a true horror my life had become.

Ryan and I had walked half way down the street of the shop towards my house before I mustered enough courage to invite him over.

"Would you like to see my house? I just moved in so it looks a bit disorganized but it has Michelle's stamp of approval…" I tried not to seem so nervous but I had a feeling I was failing at it.

"Sure," Ryan said immediately, "Is Michelle still here?"

I shook my head, "No. I took her to the airport this morning, she had to go back to look after her business."

"Ah," he said. We walked at the same pace in awkward silence for a while. I was suddenly very aware that I had left a few of my clothes on the sofas this morning. I had no other thoughts than those pertaining to my undergarments on the lamp. "What did you study at Berkeley?"

"Hmm?" I was distracted by his deep voice. I always thought it couldn't be that deep when he was on the show, "Oh right, umm I majored in creative writing. Minored in advertising. The whole internship at the publishing house helped me land a job here in Pennsylvania. If I do well, I'll be able to do some work in New York as well. I guess I should start my job first before talking about New York though."

I could hear myself rambling but couldn't stop. I could tell Ryan was holding onto every word though. "We're both writers then," He looked at me and smiled, "good." I smiled as well but looked away quickly. I could get lost in his eyes and that wouldn't be good. Not good at all.

"This month is going to be hectic, not to mention October," he said casually. "I don't want you to feel bad if something happens and you need me to come to you. Please, I really do want to help you."

"I came to you at a bad time, didn't I," I probably should have waited, I thought.

"Not a bad time," he tried to amend, "the paranormal never has good timing." We turned on my street and continued in silence. When we finally made it to my door I let him in and ran straight to all of my clothes spread out like a chimp lived there.

"Make yourself at home," I yelled already down the hall and tossing my clothes in my room, "would you like something to drink?" I asked.

He had a knowing smirk on his face that I wished I could slap off. He really didn't know how attractive he was.

"Just water, thank you." He sat down on the sofa where my garments had been only a few moments ago. I walked into the kitchen trying to compose myself. Now that I had had time to calm down and accept that he would help me I was realizing that he, was actually Ryan Buell.

The walk into the kitchen and back had not calmed me down at all. In fact I was an even bigger mess by the time I came back with a shaking cup of water in my hands.

"So," Ryan said taking a sip of his water and setting it down, "When do you start work?"

"Um…" I tried to think, "in a week I believe. I haven't let them know I've arrived."

I was still standing and Ryan was sitting. Clearly he was enjoying my nervousness a bit since he still had that stupid smirk plastered across his face. It only grew wider as my nervousness increased. It was like an out of body experience. My head was telling me to stop being such an awkward turtle but the rest of my body was frozen in place.

"You know," he said standing up and walking around me, "You could come by the offices and observe. You mentioned you went through a paranormal phase, perhaps you would enjoy seeing what we do." Instead of staying next to me, he walked over to my fireplace and stared at the pictures above the mantel piece.

"That would be great," I was snapping out of my weirdness finally, "but you said you would be busy this month."

Ryan turned around. I noticed how tall he was next to my fireplace. He had a foot over me and suddenly the nervousness was back.

"Yeah, it will be but Susan is coming back too," Ryan walked over to me again, almost invading my bubble but not nearly so, "You know, my secretary," he shrugged as if he didn't like using that word, "she could cover me while I show you around campus and the offices."

I smiled, "Sure."

Ryan returned the smile with a slight bow of the head as he reached into one of his pockets. He took out a small card and handed it too me, "It has my work phone and most importantly my private number. Don't hesitate to call either of them if you see him again."

Knowing who he was I nodded and pocketed the card, "Thank you, this really does mean a lot. Michelle told me you were a very private person."

He nodded discretely. Ryan walked over to my front door and stood by it. "I should go, I have some work to get done with today. Call me at which ever number when you decide you want to visit."

"I will," I held the door open for him and watched him walk away. "I sure will," I whispered when he was a good distance away.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry this is such a shitty short chapter. I left it at this because the next chapter will be a different day and it will be a hell of a lot longer. And I know my word means nothing at this point since I had promised to update a lot sooner and I didn't, but I really will update the next chapter during this week.<strong>

**Please please please review! It helps a lot (:**


	6. It gets heavier

**Please please review! It helps with the development of the story and I work really hard to gauge what you guys would like to read but I can't do that well if I don't receive input.**

* * *

><p>"I can't go Michelle," I whispered into the phone even though the street I was currently on was empty. It just felt right to be quiet. At least in case Ryan accidentally heard me.<p>

"You're ridiculous," she said simply. She sounded almost bored but then again I remembered she was still half asleep. I kept forgetting I was on the east coast and that often bothered people I kept in contact with on the west.

"His house is too nice, his dog might bite me, m-maybe he's still asleep," I rambled into the phone trying desperately to find a reason not to go knock on Ryan's door. We had decided to meet two days after I had invited him inside my house. He had told me to show up at 8 and here I was. 8:20 and still deciding whether I should knock or not.

I heard Michelle sigh at the same time that I heard a loud whistling coming from her end of the line, "What's that?" I asked trying desperately to change the subject.

"Tea," she said as if I was daft for not knowing, "Go knock or I'll fly out there and kick you in the shins."

I cringed slightly but she motivated me enough to walk all the way to the door but I just couldn't bring myself to knock. I clutched my jacket closer and looked around hoping to find the street vacant of people wondering why there was a shivering girl on Ryan Buell's door step.

"I can't," I said into the phone.

I heard Michelle cuss a few times, which was very unlike her and then hang up. I was shocked and a bit hurt but then I heard ringing coming from inside Ryan's house. I heard his dog start barking and Ryan's deep voice trying to soothe him as he let his answering machine pick up the call. His door or his walls must have been very thin because I could distinctly hear Michelle's voice through them.

"Ryan! This is Michelle Belanger. Please for the love of all that is holy on this planet open your door and reassure the 20 something year old outside that you do not bite!" She hung up and I almost high tailed it out of there but before I could even turn my back Ryan was opening his door in nothing but a pair of sweat pants and a mug in his hand. His other hand was holding back his dog from running out of the door.

"Hi," I said weakly, "Um….bad time?" I was trying extremely hard not to look at his chest, it was just inevitable.

Ryan only laughed and stepped aside to let me in. His dog was huge and it greeted me rather excitedly as he jumped up and put his paws on my abdomen. I liked dogs and clearly this one liked me too.

"Xander, down boy down," the dog obeyed and ran in circles obviously excited at the prospect of a new friend. "Sorry for not being ready, I had a long day yesterday and I overslept." Ryan walked over to the other end of the room taking Xander outside and then walked over to a set of stairs leading up to a second story, "Make yourself at home, I have to change. I'll be down in a minute."

I only nodded unsure of my voice and walked around the main living area which was gorgeous. Ryan was someone who liked to remember things and collect special trinkets it seemed. I noticed there was not a single space left on his walls or tables that did not hold something memorable or special. A few minutes passed while I still looked. It seemed odd that Ryan was taking so long so I turned around only to find him by the stairs looking back at me.

"Would you like some coffee before we leave?" He offered, not bothering explaining what he was doing staring at me. A shiver ran down my spin and I found I was too confused and tired to try to make sense of it. It felt like a good shiver but then again, if it had been any other guy staring at me I would have freaked out.

"I stopped drinking coffee when I finished school, I'll take some water though," I said trying not to sound rude.

"Smart," he said walking over to a door and holding it open for the both us. I walked into an open floor plan kitchen with stools and a long dinning area, it seemed that he had company over often. "It's my addiction. I can't imagine a world without coffee." He joked as he got a cold water out of the fridge. I could tell he was running off of coffee. Ryan looked a little worse for wear what with his 5 o'clock shadow and the bed hair. It would have suited him if he didn't look so tired and worn.

I took the water and silently thanked him. There was an awkward silence when nobody spoke or looked at each other. Finally I mustered the guts to start some conversation. If only I had found some of those guts outside.

"So, what are the plans for today?" I asked. He seemed excited at the idea of renewed conversation. I took note of how comfortable he was making plans or perhaps he was just excited to have a day off. God only knew he looked like he needed one.

He explained to me that we would walk to the school and he would give me a tour of the campus. Later we would grab lunch and end the day at the PRS offices. I was excited to say the least, or perhaps his excitement was very contagious.

"Did you visit the East Coast often or are you a newbie?" He asked when we were outside of his house walking toward the main campus. It was lovely outside for Pennsylvania. Still cloudy, still cold but it was to be expected.

"No," I held onto my jacket closer when a strong wind came about and I realized I probably should have dressed for colder weather, "I've never been here, I took the job out of desperation to get away from California actually." I shrugged not really caring to understand why I had said that. It was true of course but I had made it sound like I didn't love my career.

"I have some friends in publishing," he suggested, "if you end up hating where you work maybe we could find other options."

I wondered why he was offering, we had known each other two days and he seemed to be going out of his way to make me comfortable here. Something was off but between the cold and the excitement for today I couldn't bring myself to care.

"That's awfully nice Ryan," I said, "but I think I'll be good."

He nodded while smiling genuinely. When the campus came into view I gasped. Berkeley was nice but it was so much like an older city that it lost it's college appeal. Penn State was beautifully arranged giving it a college feel and a work environment that made me realize why someone would fall in love with it enough to never leave.

"Let's go," I said pulling Ryan onward even though I had no idea where I was going. I spent the morning finding out about buildings Ryan had had classes in and areas that were special to him during school. Little nooks and crannies that he especially enjoyed when he wanted to get away from the stress of the show and school. I learned about his special love for football even though I was more of a soccer fan myself. He was surprised to find out I had a little Mexican heritage in me.

"I thought it was a tan," he said honestly even though he was holding back a smile, "sorry."

I punched him hard in the arm like old friends but it didn't feel friendly. It was scary to think how wonderfully comfortable I felt around him. I hadn't gotten this attached to someone so fast since Michelle and I had been okay with that relationship since we were both woman. Ryan was a man and seeing him in my dreams had already filled me with this idea that I knew him personally.

Getting to know him on this personal and very real level confused my feelings for him as a protector, as he often showed himself as in my dreams, and a man. A man who I found attractive and intriguing. But a man who surely couldn't find me as appealing, not a nutcase like me who had a dark entity following her around.

"Come on let's eat," he pulled me along just like I had done to him. To passerby's we would have seemed like a couple, which I was strangely okay with.

We ordered at a local shop where many students stopped Ryan to ask him a question or for a photo. I had assumed he was quite the celebrity but I thought that since he worked on campus he wouldn't be as famous.

"I keep to the offices a lot," he explained once we sat down to eat, "if I'm not working here I'm at home. When I said I was a private person I didn't exaggerate."

I nodded realizing I had to evaluate our growing friendship.

"Can I ask you something?" I was hoping I wouldn't ruin what we had built over the last couple hours. He nodded and I tried to figure out a way to phrase what I wanted to say without sounding rude, "Why did you take this," I said waving my hands around trying to find the right word, "case, knowing we would have to be in close personal contact with each other constantly?"

He put his drink down and looked at his food with a serious expression on his face. If I hadn't watched the show religiously or had Michelle give me copious amounts of information about him I would have thought I had offended him.

"I'm a believer of doing onto other's as you would want others to do to you," he said simply, "I've been where you are Emma, I understand how it feels to be lost and unguarded against the unknown. I wouldn't wish for anyone, even my greatest enemy; to be in that position feeling like they can't get help. If helping you means sacrificing some of my private time than I'll gladly do it."

Well that was just great, "Do you always answer everything so perfectly?" I asked.

"Yes," he said smiling. After lunch we just sat in the Penn State quad letting the cold breeze wash over us. We were definitely on the same page when it came to weather. I loved it, it made me feel so much more alive. More alive than I had felt in a long time. Although having your life be threatened constantly by someone you can't just call up and physically call out made you feel a different kind of alive.

"Can I ask you something now?" he asked looking more nervous than I had probably looked. "It's a rather personal question so I understand if you don't want to answer."

"Sure, ask ahead Mr. Buell," I said hoping it really wasn't that personal.

"Do you still have personal feelings towards your friend, the one who was in the car with you," that _was_ personal I thought. Then again I wasn't as private with my life as he was.

I sighed getting ready to try to answer as perfectly as he had, "His name is Eric and he's my best friend despite everything." I sighed again already knowing I wouldn't have a perfect answer, "We loved each other while growing up. We saw each other through everything and I could never stop loving him. What happened that night before the…accident confused me and I haven't tried to think about. I avoid it actually." I didn't know why I was saying all of this but I just couldn't stop, "We haven't talked in months, I called him to tell him I was leaving but he only texted me back telling me to be careful. Something I was already trying to be. I guess…on a deeper level I'll always love him if we never talk again. I don't know if I love him the way you're asking about though."

Ryan didn't follow me up with anything, he just leaned in closer and wrapped his arm around me. It made me feel warmer in more than one. I leaned my head on his shoulder, it felt too heavy to keep up and I prayed I wasn't getting sick. It would be just my luck. This thing was trying to get at me whatever way possible and it would be just dandy if I ended up dead because of a flu.

"We should get out of the wind," Ryan said sounding reluctant. "I'll show you the offices, maybe we'll run into some people."

"Okay," he stood to his full height and held his hand out for mine. I wasn't sure if I should take it but for once I would just go with my instincts and trust him. I had to trust him, I was literally putting my life in his hands. I took his hand and we walked like that a couple of blocks to the offices. People stared, they stopped and took pictures but he never let go. I felt like I owed him this, holding on. He had held onto me while I thought of Eric. I could hold onto him while he went through this.

"You hate it don't you?" I asked curious about how he felt about all the attention.

Ryan shrugged making him seem so much older. He didn't look as tired but he definitely looked thoughtful, "I hate the attention, not them."

"Cheer up Ryan," I said smiling and holding onto his arm instead, "you're the best ghost hunter I know."

"I'm the only ghost hunter you know," he said laughing which really suited him. I could see the light in his eyes and I didn't want to look away. "Right?" he said coming back to himself. Technically speaking Michelle wasn't a ghost investigator, at least she didn't call herself one.

"Right," I said lightly. I wasn't paying attention to the conversation. I was paying attention to him, too much attention.

When we arrived at the offices I noticed they had a fantastically old and beautiful building. It was a two story brick and wood building that gave off an early American feel. It had the most diverse looking trees around it. It seemed like someone had picked a spot and built the building into the nature.

"It's beautiful," I said amazed, "I can't wait to see inside."

"I'm afraid the inside is rather disappointing," he walked us forward and held the door open for me. It really was a bit dull in there, modern but nothing like the charm it held from the outside. It looked like any other entrance to a business. "Some would say I'm terrible to work with. Not many people last the year it takes to get on the payroll so they don't decorate their desks and walls until later."

I had heard about this side of Ryan. There had been rumors about his working habits during the show and even afterwards. I kept an open mind, even now as he showed me around. His office was downstairs and it was bare except for a poster of Lord of the Rings which I laughed at because it was just so absurd to have. I met a Mindy, a Gale, and a Richard who did odd jobs for him and the rest of the main team. He only explained to them I was a friend but I suppose even that was rare for them to hear. They didn't seem to be expecting anyone new.

"Everyone else is out doing other things or otherwise doing their own stuff," Ryan explained when we were on the second floor. Nobody was up there but I didn't realize why they wouldn't be. A whole wall was pure glass and it held a view of Penn State and it's amazing scenery. The other wall had diagrams and notes and anything from pictures to things hanging off of it. I didn't try to make sense of any specific because I was just so entirely intrigued.

"You have quite the production here," I said feeling guilty again that I had come at this time with my problems just to add on to his already heavy work load.

Ryan nodded pulling two chairs and making them face the glass wall. It was around 2 now which surprised me. The day had gone by fast. "This is my favorite place to go and just sit when everyone is working downstairs."

"You take breaks?" I asked teasing. It worked because he smiled a small grin.

"I have to or Susan would kill me," he said and my own smile faded. I knew about Susan through Michelle. She was Ryan's personal assistant. I heard they were attached to the hip and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Not that I should feel anything about it but I did know a thing or two about people who spend a lot of time together. Eventually things happen.

Ryan noticed my change in mood and tried to clarify, obviously thinking that they had something going on, "She's like my sister, I love to hate her and she returns the sentiment often. She only makes sure I don't burn the place down and occasionally does work."

"She seems lovely," I said feeling better already, "I'd like to meet her."

"She'll love you," he said looking back outside through the window, "if it wasn't for her I probably wouldn't have called Michelle to set us up."

I knew he didn't mean it _that way_ but it still made the butterflies in my stomach flutter.

We stayed that way for a while before he had to excuse himself to go downstairs after someone had told him he had to take a call. I realized our day was coming to an end and that staying would be imposing. Even though I really didn't want to leave I knew I should. I would be starting work in two days and I didn't know when or where my next attack would come from. I supposed that if I made it home before nightfall I would be safe in my house rather than outside in an unknown neighborhood.

I said my goodbyes and declined Ryan's offer to walk me home. I knew he was doing it out of courtesy but I really did high tail it before he could insist. I felt his stare on my back all the way out of the building and that same chill ran through my spin. Yeah, it was definitely a good chill.

* * *

><p><strong>Please remember to review. Anonymous reviews are turned on.<strong>


	7. One death wish

**I'm switching to first person completely. Sorry for the constant changing, I promise this is the last time.**

* * *

><p><strong>Emma<strong>

I looked at myself in the mirror once. Walked away and turned around to check myself again, just because I could. Just because I was a nervous wreck and just because it was my first day as an editor for a huge publishing house. Yeah I looked okay.

My long dark hair was tied into a high pony tail, curled slightly just at the bottom. My makeup was light and barely there. I had to wear my rimmed glasses today because I had somehow lost my contact lenses and they wouldn't come in for another week. It was just my luck. My first day of work and I was going to be blind. I had to admit they made me look like a sexy librarian though.

I sighed when I saw a wrinkle in my skirt. I had been so anal about everything that I tried on several pairs of skirts before I decided on my first choice pencil skirt. I looked pretty good I thought after a while. My white blouse made me look lady like but at the same time it was very feminine. After the first couple of incidents I would bury myself into fashion magazines to get rid of the stress. I used to think fashion was vain and materialistic but I soon learned it was a way of expression and even art. With my figure though nothing usually looked presentable. I had the Latina curves my mother passed down to me. I was just thankful my dad was so tall. All in all I gave myself an 8 or 9.

"I can't keep stalling," I said to no one in particular. I had to go and drive to work which I still hadn't visited. Everything would be okay. I wouldn't get lost, I would make friends and life would be perfect.

I put my heels on and walked into my living room hearing the click clack of the heels on the wooden floor. Something in the air was off, literally; it smelled weird. I walked into the kitchen to make sure nothing was burning but nothing was on. I put my nose to the stove to make sure the gas was off and it was. I caught the time on the clock on the wall and nearly screamed. I was late. I would have to deal with the smell later.

I rushed out the door and into my car as fast as humanly possible and headed to work. Today would be fine. I wouldn't accept anything less than fine.

**Ryan**

"How long has it been since you saw Emma?" Michelle asked. I was currently having a video conference with her regarding some interviews she was doing for PRS but of course she wanted to know how Emma's thing was going.

"I don't know. Couple of days I suppose," I tried not to look at my monitor, making it seem like I was busy signing some papers but I had to look up and I saw Michelle's eyebrow arch at my response. Of course I knew how long it had been. Too long. "Can we get back to business?"

"No," Michelle said, she was normally not this involved in anything I did personally but this was her friend. Emma had grown on her fast and she just wanted to know how it was going. "She isn't telling me anything, she keeps saying that nothing has happened and that you've only just started to get to know each other."

"It's true," I defended, "honestly, I haven't even brought up anything about what I want to do regarding her situation."

Michelle looked surprised. It looked like she wanted to say something else but insisted on not doing so. Instead she asked, "What do you have planned? If I can know."

"Oh, you're choosing now to be polite huh?" I joked. I could be condescending if I wanted too. I was the boss.

"Ryan Daniel Buell just answer my question," she didn't seem to like my attempt at joking. "I'm surprised nothing has happened."

I regarded her carefully, "How often does that thing try to harm her?"

Michelle sighed and leaned back in her chair seemingly thinking, "She was with me for a while, maybe a month or month and a half. We had 4 or 5 incidents."

"4 or 5? Why the or?" Maybe I would have to reconsider my plans. I knew Emma had been downplaying her situation a bit.

"Because towards the end It just started getting clever," she regarded the entity as it. I didn't really like the way she said it either, "some big bulking dog chased her down the street, it would have been funny had it not stalked the house for hours. It seemed possessed and determined to get in and take Emma. The dog pound couldn't take it, we had to call the cops eventually. Emma was traumatized, she loves dogs."

I thought back to Emma meeting Xander and everything had been fine. I sat back just like Michelle and contemplated my plans. I would have to change them again.

"I know that face," Michelle said. She looked as wise I had ever seen her even through the computer screen, "you'll figure it out, you know people."

"I think I'm going to call Lorraine," I suggested but balked the moment I saw Michelle's surprised expression.

"No!" she stuttered before gathering her wits, "I mean, just don't call Lorraine yet. If you insist then just tell Emma before you do. She doesn't like her very much."

"Why?" I asked defensive. I loved Lorraine very much and I completely trusted her. I knew there were people who still held her against certain events but come on.

Michelle sighed heavily, I remembered she wasn't so warm and welcoming to Lorraine at first either, "It has nothing to do with Amityville; trust me, it's more to do with the whole religious aspect."

I was not handling this well. I couldn't help Emma if she refused some of my suggestions. Some of them were going to have to deal with this aspect and I wanted Lorraine to be a part of it. "I'll talk to her," I said. I rubbed my eyes feeling the ache and stress dissipate lightly. I looked at my calendar and noticed the date. Emma would have started work today. It was late now and I wondered if she would take my call. She had to be home by now.

I looked back at Michelle who still looked worried, "What?" I asked her.

"Is there something going on?" she asked after a while. I didn't know what she was referring to but I had a gut feeling she knew about my dreams as ridiculous as that sounded. Sometimes it felt like Michelle could read my mind.

"What do you mean?" I asked her and shuffled my papers. Anything to distract myself.

"Never mind," she said with a knowing smirk, "lets get back to business." And we did. We worked for another hour before I decided I would call Emma and set up a date to talk to her about her options. I called her landline but she didn't answer. I called her cell phone and it went to voicemail after a while. I didn't want to seem too eager but something felt wrong. Something WAS wrong, I just knew it.

I grabbed my shoulder bag and left the offices, even I had sent everyone home a while ago. A publishing house kept early hours not late ones. I was glad she didn't live much farther from my own place. I could make it to her house in no time at all.

I felt a vibration in my pocket and took my phone out to find that Emma was returning my call. I stopped walking and answered, "Glad you could call me back-"

"Ryan…" Emma whispered into the phone, "Ryan he's here, right now…"

I picked up my pace and hurried to her place, "Where are you Emma?"

"Right in front of my house," she sounded like she was about to cry, "he's at the end of the street Ryan…"

"Get inside your house," I tried to stay calm but I wasn't doing a good job of it, "I'm coming, just get inside."

"Okay," she said into the line and hung up.

I still had a few blocks to go so I started running. I stopped a block away from her house, panting and cursing. I could see her street and place but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. That was until I saw a man about my own height and body build standing at her window, seemingly staring inside. A feeling of protectiveness and anger surrounded me. I began walking over, slowly so as to not make my presence obvious but it was a fruitless task because my phone vibrated again with a call.

The man or whatever it was turned around but instead of finding a face where there should have been one, there was nothing, he was absolutely faceless. I put my phone to my ear, never taking my eyes of that _thing_.

"I'm right outside your house," I said into the phone.

I didn't hear a reply right away, I could only hear Emma's deep breathing, "Help…" she said softly before I heard her drop her phone and simultaneously I was blasted off my feet landing on my back on the cement.

It took me a while to come back to myself, at least it felt like a while. I sat up slowly and realized there had been an explosion. I looked up to Emma's house and saw that the one over to it had a gaping hole where the front door and window should have been. Much too close to Emma's own door which was hanging open on one hinge. I didn't stop to think what had happened or even bother to look around for the dark entity. My only worry was making sure Emma was okay.

I ran down the rest of the way to her house and pushed the door open. All of her furniture was either toppled or pushed to the other extreme of the room. But that's not what I noticed first. I smelled the air and almost gagged. There was a gas leak, maybe that was what had caused the explosion. I ran down her hall and into the room where I had seen her take her things. The door was hanging loose much like the one outside.

I looked around and saw her laying on her back at the foot of her bed. I bent down and checked her breathing. She was gasping slowly for air. I gathered her into my arms and hurried down the hall. I didn't know how many explosions there were but I didn't want us to be inside waiting to find out. I was already lightheaded by the time I made it outside. The fresh air was like a gift to my lungs.

Emma opened her eyes while I held onto her and walked over to where I had dropped my phone on the curb although I didn't need to call the police, there were plenty of people already outside on their phones. I could hear a distinctly loud woman talking to an operator on her phone about how there might be a child next door. I looked around and nobody was getting close. There were no flames, I supposed that was an indication of a gas leak or gas explosion. I just held onto Emma, hoping and praying that there really wasn't a child inside. It would be too dangerous to go in now.

Emma grabbed onto my shirt with her hand, gripping as hard as she could but I realized that wasn't much. She had inhaled too much gas. She was still breathing too hard for comfort and her grip was loosening.

"Stay with me darlin' don't close your eyes," I whispered. People were starting to gather around us, clearly worried about Emma as well.

The loud lady from the phone came over and looked over my shoulder at Emma, "You hang in there little girl, the ambulance is coming."

Emma didn't look at the woman or acknowledge her at all, she just stared at me; trying to hold my stare. I didn't have to ask or even wonder out loud. I knew this time it had been a close call for her. I sat down on the curb as gracefully as I could while still holding Emma. I tucked her head in-between my shoulder and neck to try to regulate her breathing. I rocked her back and forth until she stopped gasping and started breathing normally again.

The lady still hadn't left my side but she had stopped talking which was great. People were still gathered around us looking onto the house probably wondering about the people who lived there.

"Ryan…" I heard Emma whisper. I looked at her and noticed her eyes were shut tightly. I wanted to see her beautiful green eyes, I wanted her to laugh or make a joke or anything.

"Look at me darlin'," I encouraged, all the stress and worry was bring out my southern accent.

Emma opened her eyes slowly, a tear streamed down her face as she gripped my shirt again, "Thank you."

I brought her back into my arms and resumed my rocking. I didn't know what to say, _you're welcome? No worries. Anytime._

When the ambulance arrived I insisted on carrying her over to the gurney and staying with her. I was the only person she knew here anyway. At least I thought so. They allowed me and I zoned out on the ambulance while they worked on her. She never took her eyes off of mine and I hers. She held onto my hand for as long as possible until we were forced to separate. They took her into the ER and I had to go to the waiting room.

I had a feeling she would kill me for doing this but I didn't have a choice. I took my phone out, dialed and waited for the answer, "Ryan how wonderful to hear from you."

"Lorraine, I need your help."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**Incase you didn't know, I don't like Lorraine Warren much. As a matter of fact I don't like her late husband or Chip Coffey as well. I won't try to give you a reason unless you really want to know, in which case you're more than welcome to PM me or send me a message on tumblr about it. If you're reading this please please please review. It's extremely helpful and it encourages me to update sooner.**

**Review! Please (:**


	8. Be Brave

**Ryan**

* * *

><p>I stared at Emma as she lay asleep, quietly counting the seconds in-between her breathing. She had been constantly moving and kicking what with her having a hard time inhaling and exhaling. Then again who wouldn't with all those machines attached to them. I held onto her hand and noticed how her skin tone contrasted with my own. I wasn't unhealthily pale but I did needed a bit of color. At least compared to her beautiful tan color I did.<p>

Emma stirred a bit in her sleep again but this time I didn't jump up expecting her to wake up. She had been this way for two hours. I wanted her to wake up, make her smile and see her green eyes twinkle. I was becoming a sap I thought with a chuckle.

"I like hearing you giggle," Emma said sleepily, snapping me out of my thoughts with a jolt.

"You're awake!" I almost yelled, "and I wasn't giggling," I said much quieter. I reached over to her side and pressed the button to call the nurse. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I have the worlds worst heartburn," she reached over to her chest and rubbed it a bit. I noticed I was still holding onto her other hand but I'd be damned if I let go of it now. "I sound like Darth Vader," she said laughing and sounding for all intents and purposes like she had emphysema, "Luke I am your father…" Emma leaned back in her bed and busted out in laughter then cough. It seemed so random and I traced it back to her medicine. I didn't want her to feel bad so I laughed along with her. It was funny but it was also easy to let yourself go a little bit when around her. I guess I was still a little worked up about earlier.

"Miss Foster," a male voice said at the entrance of the room, "or should I say, future Mrs. Buell." The doctor walked over to the side of her bed and smiled. Emma's laughter stopped immediately. She was wide awake now. She almost looked comical with her deep brunette hair splayed across the bed and her bright green eyes wide like saucers.

I stood up quickly and kissed her forehead, before leaning away from her I whispered near her ear, "Sorry, they're strict. It was the only way they'd let me stay in the room with you." I leaned away with an apologetic look on my face. Emma seemed relieved though.

She gave me a look that I couldn't quite describe before addressing the doctor in her deep raspy Darth Vader voice, "How am I doctor…?"

"Dr. Niall Stevens," he started to say as he looked down at a clip board, "you'll live. We have to keep the machines on you for another hour to monitor your progress but I'd say you are pretty much in the clear now."

"In the clear?" she asked nervously looking back at me, "but I was fine, I remember being okay." I looked away from her for a moment and glanced back at our hands. I liked her small fingers next to mine. I'd hate to admit it out lout but Emma didn't just capture my attention in my dreams but in real life as well.

"When you came in you had a small panic attack," the doctor explained. He was in his early 30's or so and quite handsome. He was the kind of guy that always lands the attractive women. Always has one dangling from his arm. I don't know what it was but I didn't like the way he smiled at her. "We got you under control and gave you some medication to help you sleep."

Emma nodded and squeezed our hands tighter, "So I can go home after the machines come off?" she asked.

The doctor looked at me briefly before nodding and taking some notes. He checked Emma up and down and finally left. We were all alone now waiting for her machines to do their work. I wasn't sure where to start telling her everything from Lorraine to her home to her job to everything else.

"Emma darlin-" I started to say but stopped when I noticed her smiling and looking at me with a warm look, "What?"

"You called me that," she whispered as she fixed her hair behind her neck, "after you came for me, thank you by the way."

This warm fuzzy feeling surrounded me and I couldn't help but smile, "I promised I would help you." Emma nodded and looked down at our hands. She started to play with our intertwined fingers. I had to look away, I had to concentrate, "Emma, there's some things that happened while you were asleep."

She stopped moving her hand long enough to nod her head, "What happened Ryan?"

"When the ambulance came for you," I started taking a deep breath, "there was another explosion, a delayed one from inside your house. Sweetheart I'm sorry the firemen have shut down the complex."

"But where am I going to live!" She shouted. I was afraid that she would react this way, "What-what about my things? And the people next door! Ryan they had a little baby. Omg this is all my fault. If it wasn't for me-"

I stood up and sat down next to her bed trying to calm her down by hugging her as best as I could with the machines in the way, "It's okay, it's okay. Your neighbors were out of town. It was their gas that caused the explosions in the first place. The complex owes you compensation but I talked to some people and it may take a while for that money to come in. Meanwhile I thought maybe you could stay with anyone you know here."

Emma was softly crying onto my chest, grabbing onto my shirt much tighter than she had before, "I don't know anyone. I mean, this girl was really nice to me at work today but I hardly think I could ask her if I could move in."

I was so beyond glad that she had said that, "Well you can stay with me, at least until all this is sorted out."

Emma was out of my arms in the blink of an eye shaking her head as tears stained her face, "No! You've done so much for me already, I couldn't."

I managed to get her back in her old position before continuing, "It's common sense Emma, just accept. It'll help with your situation. If I have you closer I'll know what we're up against better."

"Ryan," Emma started, I decided I'd let her get out whatever she needed too before I could completely convince her to stay with me and then move onto the next topic, "you're a very private person and you're incredibly busy. I've already imposed on you on a difficult time of the year. I'm messy and loud and your home needs to be a calm place to go to after a hectic day at work. I can't do that to you."

"Nonsense," I said, "I'm messy and Xander is loud. Having a friendly face to go home to is calming. So that's it right? You're moving in?" I asked eagerly. Emma detached herself from me looking shocked.

"Why do I get the feeling like I don't have a choice?" Emma asked.

"You do darling," I added hoping it would soften her up a bit, "like I said, it's common sense." Emma was quiet for a moment before nodding reluctantly. "Good because I sent Susan out to get your things to bring them back to my house already." Emma's eyes became saucers again just like I had expected them too. She pulled back and directed a punch to my arm.

"How could you?" she yelled, "Ah!" She looked back at her arm where an ivy was in. She laid back and glared at me the whole time she was trying to regain her breathing. She was muttering under her breath something that sounded like, _stupid manipulative didn't even ask before Susan ah motherfuck-_

"Are you mad at me?" I asked still rubbing the spot on my arm that she had hit, "because I have more news to share with you."

"Is it going to be worse than you going behind my back to relocate me?" she asked bitterly.

"Yes," I said almost too enthusiastically for her tastes, "Lorraine is flying in to meet you." I ducked in time to miss the pillow she threw at me. When I came back up I caught the other pillow straight on my face.

"Do you HAVE a death wish Ryan Buell?" she yelled. I had a feeling nurses would come in soon and have me leave the premises, "I don't like Lorraine Warren, never have never will. I don't want to do any of this the Catholic way, no offense," she said calming down a bit when she noticed she had hit a nerve, "I know you are very devote and I respect that but I'm not…that way."

"You said you wanted my help," I tried to stay calm and not snap at her, "this is me helping you. Please let me help you."

She cringed and I realized she already felt bad about asking for it. She had expected this to go her way and have my input. We would have to compromise. Before I could speak I heard her sigh and sit up a bit but without her pillows she was having a hard time, "Fine, I'll accept your help…your way," I helped her sit up better by placing her pillows back, before I could lean away though she grabbed my arm and looked at me seriously, "but no Chip Coffey."

I laughed and sat back, "That's fine I wasn't going to call him anyway."

"Good," she said and relaxed into her pillows. Her breathing was going back to normal now which made me happy and her as well. "Do you have anymore bad news?"

"No," I said but I remembered something, "well I have news I'm just not sure if they're good or bad." She nodded and turned her head to face me, "I called Michelle to ask her about where you worked. I called your job and explained to them what had happened. They're not happy that it took place on your first day but they agreed to give you a week off of work so that you can get better."

"Well that's awfully nice of them," she said looking at the ceiling, "they offered me the job, I suppose they can't complain now huh?"

"Yeah," I said.

"So Susan is in town…" she said slowly, "and she has my things."

"Yes and yes," I said just as slowly, "your furniture is unfortunately not salvageable but the things inside are fine. I hear your pictures are fine too."

"Good," she sighed, "if not they're all on facebook," she started laughing again in her Darth Vader tone and this time she really did make me laugh. I was glad all of the impending bad news had been taken care of. I just wanted to take her home and start the process of getting rid of 'it'. I wanted to know the Emma who didn't have to constantly look over her shoulder. The Emma from my dreams.

* * *

><p><strong>Not happy about the length of this chapter but it didn't seem right to keep going onto the next scene from here. Also the reason this story is named Paranormal Host is because I'm clever and Ryan is HOSTING the paranormal. Get it? Get it? Yeah.<strong>

**Thank you for reading and please please please**

**REVIEW.**


	9. Pillows or Pineapples?

**Disclaimer: This story is strictly post Paranormal State and I'm in no way shape or form trying to pass this off as Ryan Buell's actual life.**

* * *

><p><strong>Emma<strong>

"You didn't have to stay home from work today Ryan," I half said before sneezing into the fiftieth tissue that morning, "I'm fine really."

"You look like death took over your body and refuses to leave," he said from across the couch without taking his eyes off of his laptop. They were currently lounging in Ryan's living room. I was attempting to watch some trashy t.v and he was trying to work from home. I felt incredibly guilty about getting sick the day after I had been discharged. My things still sat in boxes or piles in random corners of his house. I didn't have the strength to lift up a pinky, much less unpack my valuables.

Susan had been kind enough to pack everything carefully and even cleaned off things she thought I might find necessary, like my own laptop or my sheets that had survived. I hadn't met her personally yet but she had already done more for me than most people I knew. I felt awful for disliking her relationship with Ryan. He was sitting here with me after all. He could have gone into work and left me there with an air humidifier and an endless supply of tissues.

"I must look so attractive right now," I said trying not too look at Kim Kardashian on t.v while she complained about a zit or what not. I wanted the couch to eat me up and spit me out looking like her.

Ryan didn't answer or tell me I was crazy so I looked back and caught him looking at me like he had the first day I had shown up at his house.

"No Emma, you're gorgeous. A true Miss America," I teased. He could have said anything, anything at all.

"Sorry," he said getting back to his work, "I was trying to process your sarcasm."

"Okay…" I said. I got up slowly and shut my eyes while I waited for the head rush to subside. You knew you were sick when you got up at .2 miles per hour and you still ended up with a head rush. I opened my eyes and stood up. I needed to eat something before starting my day. I refused to sit on my ass while I was sick. I had always been the head strong athletic sick person. There was nothing you couldn't cure with exercise.

"What are you doing?" Ryan said setting his laptop down in front of him on his coffee table and standing up to follow me as I wobbled into the kitchen.

"Checking to see what you have in the kitchen so I can eat breakfast," I looked back and I was surprised to see his arms open wide, like I was going to fall over. "Honestly, that's insulting. I think I can walk to the kitchen."

"You couldn't walk to the bathroom this morning and that was only five feet away from the couch," he continued to follow me. I hated to admit it but I did have to lean against the kitchen counter to catch my breath.

"I'm fine," I said trying hopelessly to lift a leg on to a stool and get up on it but it was simply impossible. I gave up and walked over to the refrigerator instead. The whole time Ryan watched me but didn't help. I guess this was my chance to prove I really was fine.

I opened the refrigerator and gasped, "I don't know why I'm surprised," I finally said shutting the door and making towards my room to get my wallet and keys. "Why would I assume that a bachelor kept actual food in his house?"

"What do you mean actual food," he walked closely behind me but didn't open his arms anymore, "there is plenty of Mac and Cheese in the cupboards and I believe there was food in the frig you just opened."

"Two bananas, expired milk, and an open box of confetti cake mix is not food. What was the cake mix doing in there anyway?"

"I don't know…?" Ryan walked into the guest room he had so graciously given to me temporarily. "What are you doing?"

I grabbed my bag and checked for my wallet then took out my keys, "Going to buy food," I looked for my shoes and found them tossed in a corner. I walked over and leaned down to get them but I got another head rush and had little to no time to find something to grab onto. Thankfully Ryan was there. He grabbed me before I could fall and set me gently on the ground.

"No you're not," he took my keys away from me and put them in his back pocket, "you're staying here and recuperating."

"No!" I tried to reach around him but he moved away from my hands, "I'm fine, I can driveeee." I launched myself at him with as much strength as I could muster but he moved so fast that I landed on my knees and hands. The strength went out of them and I let my self fall completely to the floor face down. I wanted to die. If I was correct I was probably already dead. Every muscle in my body ached and my head felt like it was same weight as Saturn.

Ryan prodded my head with his finger when it looked like I was I was in no hurry to get up, "Are you alive?" he asked.

"No," I said but my voice was muffled by the carpet, "Here, here will I remain, With worms that are thy chamber-maids; O, here, Will I set up my everlasting rest…"

"Did…did you just quote Romeo and Juliet?" Ryan laughed so hard he fell back on his ass while I remembered he too was an author. More specifically someone with a major in journalism. Of course he would know Shakespeare. Anyone with a High School diploma would know Shakespeare.

"Kill me now." I rolled over and noticed that Ryan had stopped laughing. Good.

"I'll drive but you have to take it easy," Ryan said, "we'll have to figure out a system too. Who buys and eats what."

"We can keep things separate for now," I suggested. "I have to buy a lot of things…"

"Let's go shopping then, Juliet," he said standing up and extending a hand out for me.

I took it and stood slowly feeling great about there only being a slight head rush. He didn't let go of my hand as he led me to my dresser, "Wait so are you young Mercutio or Romeo."

"I liked Mercutio's way of thinking," he said, "but I'd like to think that people like Romeo still exist. So I'd like to be him."

"Who?" I asked taking my outfit out and setting it on my bed, "dreamers and people who believe in love at first sight?"

"No," he was walking out of my room but before he could open the door he turned around and said, "people who go after something they really really want."

**Later**

"Your whole cart is gross," I said looking over into Ryan's grocery cart filled with junk and sweets. I looked at mine and smiled seeing an array of fruits and vegetables.

"When the zombie apocalypse happens you'll want my Twinkies and chips. They'll definitely last longer than your nasty tomatoes and bananas."

I pretended to be offended but just incase, I packed some cookies. Just to be extra careful. They walked around the store a little longer. Picking that item up and setting it back down. I didn't want to think too much about how this felt like such a couple thing to do. I had always been weird about stuff like that. I'd had relationships before, serious ones too. But if I was being completely honest with myself then I'd have to admit I hated routine relationships.

I hated the idea of going home, cooking dinner, having a boring conversation about each others day and then going to bed and finding an excuse to not have sex because you both hated the life you were leading so much that you were starting to despise each other. I took a big breather because even in my head that caused me to loose my breath. Somewhere, in some dusty dictionary there was the name and definition to this phobia.

"You look like you're going to be sick," Ryan said putting some burger patties and buns into his cart. I shook my head and smiled. I was being ridiculous. I didn't even know him and here I was picturing us together, walking down the isles of food like a couple. For all I knew Ryan might have a girlfriend he kept in touch with or secretly talked too while I wasn't around or attempting to get killed by a dark shadowy figure.

"You know," he said looking at some juices, he couldn't decide between the big bottle of Capri sun and the small pack with the straw, "I never asked you how your first day of work went."

He looked over at me momentarily before going back to his dilemma. I hadn't even thought about it. Between almost dying, almost dying again, and being sick it hadn't even crossed my mind.

"I guess it was okay," I said shrugging, "nice people, hard workers, it was exactly what I expected."

"Sounds fun," he finally decided for the small pack and set them in his cart. It was getting hard for me to push my own but I'd be damned if I let him know. I was a sneezing mess and I was pretty sure I was getting a fever but I stood my ground and I kept going. I was repelling all of the other customers but I was fine with that. I had very little tolerance for others when I got sick.

"So you're editing and what else?" he asked nonchalant. I didn't know him very well but I did know he was getting at something. I normally didn't bullshit around subjects but I wanted to indulge him in this.

"I basically read over what ever books they need me to read and then I make suggestions, fix minor errors and then pass it on." That was my job in a nut shell. It was far too exciting.

"Sounds fun," he said again. He was distracted again by something or the other but I couldn't keep my head or interest up. I laid my head on my arms that rested on the handle of my cart. If I closed my eyes for just a while I would fall asleep…

When I opened my eyes I found myself in Ryan's arms while he looked down at me worried, "I knew you should have stayed home," he said supporting me against my cart.

"I'm fine," I said rubbing my eyes. I couldn't have been gone for long.

"Yeah," he chuckled, "please stop saying that. You're not."

"Do you think we'd get in trouble if we tied the carts together and you pushed me while I slept in one?" I was being completely serious but Ryan didn't find it at all amusing. He pushed his own cart while he held onto mine. I followed closely behind trying not lean against the isles of food. I wanted to go home, watch some more Kourtney and Kim take New York, and then sleep.

"Ryan?" I asked not really knowing what I was going to ask him. I just wanted him to keep talking to me. His deep voice was soothing and bewildering at the same time.

"Yes?" he asked looking behind him, "are you going to pass out again?"

"Maybe," I said honestly. We were rounding a corner and I saw a pile of fluffy pillows. At least I hoped it was a pile of fluffy pillows. I walked over to it and rested my head on one but it poked me, "Ouch," I said trying to fluff it up. The problem was that it was too stiff, "Stupid pillow," I changed to another one but it poked me again.

I felt Ryan's hands on my hips as he led me away. He was looking at the people around him with an apologetic smile, "Those are not pillows Emma."

"Yes they are!" I said loudly in his ear, "they had a hypoallergenic tag."

"They were pineapples darling," he whispered. He did his best to walk us over to the cashier. I handed him my wallet and he paid for everything. He managed to get all of the groceries and me into the car and secured before I could even blink. This man was a magician. Or I had sleepwalked all the way to the car. Either way I was impressed.

"You're crazy," I said when he got into the car, "I don't know why you thought you could handle me."

"I handled crazy vengeful ghosts on an almost daily basis for many years," he said pulling out of the store parking lot, "I can handle you."

"Thank you Romeo," I sniffled and covered myself with the hood of my sweater.

"No problem Juliet," he threw a small blanket on me that came out of no where and tucked the side that was closest to him into my seat, "no go to sleep."

"Okay," I drifted off into what I hoped was a dream I could wake up from. I didn't want to end up like Juliet.

* * *

><p><strong>I didn't LOVE this chapter as I was writing it but once I re-read it, fixed some things, and added stuff in…I ended up liking it a lot. I definitely don't want to make the mistake a lot of authors do when they make to characters fall in love and then don't give the reader any insight into their life's and personalities.<strong>

**P.S: Here's a joke my Portuguese teacher told us.**

**Do you know how pineapples are made?**

**The Pine tree took the Apple tree on a date and then BAMN the pineapple was born.**

**It's better when he tells it lol**

**Reviewwwww (:  
><strong>


	10. Shelf Life

**Disclaimer: This story is strictly post Paranormal State and I do not intend to pass this off as Ryan Buell's real life in any way. Enjoy the story.**

* * *

><p><strong>Emma<strong>

I looked at the clock on the living room wall for the 10th time that morning. 5:16 am. I sighed and leaned my head across the back of the couch, I had officially pulled an all nighter. Ever since the accident with the gas leak my nightmares had gotten worse. I felt like a complete idiot waking up screaming and sweating. I had effectively gotten rid of my cold but if I kept going without sleep I would end up sick again.

Not to mention the fact that Ryan kept getting up to check up on me during said nightmares. I had avoided sleeping as little as possible for the past three days since Ryan's work had gotten increasingly hectic. They only had two weeks to go for Halloween. He was going to be gone nearly a month on tours and fieldtrips and I had absolutely no idea if I should be happy for him or panic.

He had suggested I come along but I was already taking a week off of work. I promised I would go to as many of his fieldtrips on the East coast as I could but I wasn't sure that mixing hundred year ghosts with my possible demon would be a good idea.

I hated the idea of him being gone and me being here sitting like a potato waiting to be killed off. Maybe I could gather up all of the waiting books, take them home and just stay there working until he came back. The idea of entering the world again without Ryan was starting to sound like suicide. It's not like he had STOPPED the explosion, but he HAD gotten me out before the second one.

I put my head between my legs like I used to do before finals to avoid an anxiety attack. I could do this. I could get by without this person who I hadn't even known for long. I just had to breath, put on my big girl panties and face the world and all it held for me.

"What are you doing?" A voice said from the general direction of Ryan's room. It was his deep voice that I recognized so I didn't bother looking up. Having him there standing and sounding groggy with sleep only reminded me that he was leaving.

"Not trying to have an anxiety attack," I said not bothering to lie. He would probably notice as time went on anyway. I was horrible at keeping secrets and at not panicking.

I heard him get nearer and then sit down on the coffee table in front of me, "Should I get you some water?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said, though my speech was muffled by legs, "should you?"

"Right," he said standing up and heading towards the kitchen. I looked up when I heard his steps getting closer but I wish I hadn't. He wasn't wearing a shirt, again. He had this habit of walking around half naked which didn't bother me but it definitely bothered my lady parts.

"Here," he handed me the glass of water and I took it. I closed my eyes and drank the water until it was almost gone. I really wished he would go put a shirt on, "so why are you panicking?" he asked sitting back down in front of me. I scooted all the way back into the couch when he got nearer. If I was too close I'd be tempted to touch and that wasn't….that just wasn't acceptable.

I gulped feeling my throat become dry even though I had just drank water, "Just because I'm going back to work and you're…you know."

"Leaving?" he asked. I nodded and looked away, I already sounded so dependent of him, "But Lorraine will be here and Michelle is going to visit for a few days."

I rolled my eyes seeing that I would have to explain, "They're not who I see in my dreams and I doubt Lorraine and I will hit it off, I don't exactly have a filter about speaking my thoughts."

Ryan crossed his arms across his chest and looked at me sternly, "You haven't even met her yet. Give her a chance Emma."

"I will," I said crossing my arms as well, "I'm just saying that there is a chance we'll clash and then what?"

"And then you make up and be best friends forever," he smiled and leaned forward on his arms effectively putting his naked chest on full display. I felt like a creep ogling his arms and abs. "Isn't that what girls do?"

"No," I said scooting back even more, "they're still not who I see protecting me."

"I'll be a phone call away and meanwhile I'll be working and researching the origin of predators like yours."

I cringed when he said predators, "This is a pile of crap," I said. "I don't like it at all."

"I know darling," oh he just had to say that, shirtless, "but you've made it this far." He stood up and extended a hand to me, "Go get some sleep, you go back to work today after all."

I groaned and let him guide me to my bedroom, "Don't remind me."

We stopped at my door where Ryan hugged me and then pushed me inside before shutting my door. I climbed into my bed and covered myself in my sheets. I wasn't tired anymore. I was hot and bothered. There was a perfectly gorgeous man standing half naked a room away and here I was…available and willing.

"I'm such a pervert," I said to myself while I rolled onto my stomach and forced myself into sleep.

**Ryan**

"You seem happier," Susan said dropping a pile of papers on my desk which made a loud thump, "did you run over a family of ducks or something?"

"Ha ha ha," I didn't even look up at her from my computer screen "no, actually it was a box of kittens if you MUST know." I heard her snicker and leave my office without shutting the door. I hated it when she did that, especially on stressful days.

I was about to shout at some random intern to shut my door before Susan came back in with some folders in her hands, "You might want to take a look at these," she handed me the stack and I opened the first one to find articles and notes by Dr. Edgar Roman on the types of demons he specialized in. I looked up at Susan and found her smiling.

"How did you get these?" I asked her while I sat up straighter and went through some of the folders.

"I don't work for you just for the free coffee and charming ambiance that you provide in this office setting," she said sarcastically. She grabbed some of the pieces of paper she had stacked earlier on my desk and lazily went through some. "I had a life before I met you," I rolled my eyes and urged her to continue, "actually I hardly did any work, it was all my parents actually. Remember I told you they worked in Italy for a while?"

"Yeah," I wasn't sure where she was going with this, "you said they were architects."

"Well my mom was," she sat down in the chair across from mine, "my dad was an architect after he worked for the Vatican."

"You dad worked there?" I asked astonished, "why am I just finding out?"

Susan shrugged, "What would have been the point? Besides I was really young and not until a few years ago did I actually find out what he did there."

"What did he do?" I asked placing the folders on my desk.

"He had been the assistant demonologist to many a priests that pranced around that place," I sighed knowing that Susan was also very judgmental about the Catholic church, "Anyway, it was too much for dad so he applied to work at the Vatican archives. He was never approved obviously because he was married to a woman who was not a baptized Catholic and besides it's easier to get into the Popes bed than to get a job in the Vatican Archives."

I nodded listening to every word she was saying, "Since he had worked closely for many of the priests they did allow him to work in the public archives where he read and read and read. He has an excellent memory so when I asked him if he knew of any demonologist that could possibly have any information on demons like the one stalking your lady friend, he immediately contacted an old friend and got these for me straight from the archives themselves."

I smiled and nearly jumped over the desk to hug her, "You know you're going to be employee of the month."

Susan laughed and stood up, "Please, give it to someone else. I don't want to keep all the glory for myself." She left the room and got back to work. I smiled when I noticed she had shut the door.

I looked back at the documents and pushed them aside to work on the papers that needed reading and signing. I would read them on the road while Emma panicked at home.

**Emma**

I walked into work to find that my desk was full of flowers and balloons with get well logos on them. I smiled and looked around at the desk next to me where the girl who had been nice to me on my fist day, sat.

"Did you guys do this?" I asked her while I placed my bag on the floor and started to carefully move all the gifts and cards away so that I could work, "that's awfully nice of everyone."

"You'll find that we are all very close here," she said. I remembered her name was Megan and she was only slightly older than me. Maybe by two or three years. We were both very young to be working in a publishing house but I was glad she was here. I didn't feel so naïve or pressured to be working with 30 and 40 year olds.

She smiled at me as she stood up from her desk with a pile of papers in hand and walked towards the copier room.

I sat down and got to work. Aside from the balloons, cards, and flowers there were a ton of manuscripts waiting for me. I sighed and picked up the first one. There was already a ton red ink corrections on it. I grabbed my green pen and got to cracking. An hour into working I took a break and sat back in my chair. I caught a guy from across the room staring at me and when he noticed I had seen him he quickly hid behind some papers in his hands while he speed walked back to his chair. The action had been so comical and cliché that I couldn't help but giggle.

He was attractive and tall. He was probably in his early thirties or late 20s. He dressed like a man from the 50's but with a modern touch. He was definitely what I would call, hot. I remember being introduced to him on my first day but I couldn't recall his name. Colin or Christopher or something.

"Oooo you're checking out the art guy," Megan said a bit loudly while she sat back at her desk. I looked at her but she wasn't even looking up. She had caught me without taking her eyes off of her work. I must have been very obvious.

"I forgot his name," I said honestly and a bit quieter than she had.

"Conner," Megan stood up from her desk and walked over to mine. The whole office was situated to have an old wooden feel but every desk was spaced out to have enough room and quiet so that we could work. Her heels attracted the attention of many of the men there but just as quickly as their heads had snapped up, they snapped back down and continued to work. "He approves the art work that goes through the company and even draws something's up himself."

She chewed on her pen with enthusiasm while she told me about him. Clearly Megan liked gossip and it had been such a long time since I had indulged in another woman's company who was my age or close to it. "Is he single?" I asked.

Megan shrugged while casually glancing over her shoulder at Conner. I noticed he kept looking over at us, "I don't know. He's very quiet, mysterious even."

I choked back a laugh by drinking some water. I forgot that we all worked with writers here. They all talked like that.

"I would let him paint whatever he wanted on me," she said giggling, "all night."

"You're terrible," I said pretending to go back to work, "he's not a piece of meat Megan."

"Yes he is Emma," she said standing up, "he's a nice piece of intellectual and talented meat. Prime rib if you ask me." She walked back to her desk and sat down with a smile. She really was terrible.

As I was getting back to my work I felt something tap my shoulder. I looked over and saw Megan pointing down. I looked on the floor and saw a piece of crumbled paper. I grabbed it and placed it under my desk to read it as if I was back in High School.

Megan's neat writing said, _Ask him out._ I looked back at her and shook my head no. I didn't even know the guy. Megan grabbed a post it note and scribbled something quickly before crumbling it up and throwing it over to my desk. I caught it and opened it to read it, _Grow some lady balls. All opportunities have a shelf life._ Well if that wasn't poetic and stolen from Burlesque then I would have jumped up at the chance. I grabbed my pen and wrote, _I just watched that movie HAH._

I threw the piece of paper back at her and watched her read it with amusement. She looked up from the writing and stuck her tongue out at me but quickly looked away and pretended to be working. I looked at her confused before someone cleared their throat from in front of me. It was my boss.

"You know Miss Foster," he said looking from me to Megan, "we have these things called cellular devices and they send these other things called text messages."

"I'm so sorry," I said feeling my cheeks turn a deep red, "it won't happen again."

"Just use your own paper next time," he smiled and winked at us before walking back into his office.

I shook my head, grabbed my pen and a manuscript and decided to get back to work but then I felt a rather large piece of paper fly at my head. I looked at Megan but she was doubled up giggling under her desk. I looked at her confused but she pointed to the right. I turned my head around and saw Conner staring back at me with a smile on his face. I smiled back and reached down under my desk to retrieve the piece of paper.

I opened it and gasped, _Will you go out for coffee with me? Yes or No._ I circled my answer and threw it back at him before turning my chair around and successfully blocking out the rest of the office. I heard the piece of paper hit the back of my chair and then a thud as it hit the floor. I bent down to grab it and read it

I saw my yes circled and under it, _Great, meet me after work at the coffee shop down the block. See you then-Conner._

I squealed a little inside and got back to work. This definitely topped my first day.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't hate me for introducing this guy, or any of the other guys I plan on introducing hah. SPOILER.<strong>

**Anyway I hope yall liked this chapter. If I don't update next week then I apologize in advance. I will do everything I can to make sure you get a chapter next Wednesday.**

**Review.**


	11. Relax, it's just Chicken

******Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any references to Paranormal State nor do I claim to have extensive knowledge of the Paranormal. I also do not claim that anything I say about Mr. Ryan Daniel Buell is true. I am only the owner of the plot.******

* * *

><p><strong>Ryan<strong>

I was sitting down at the kitchen counter typing away on my laptop when I noticed Emma pickup her vibrating phone for the 50th time that day and text someone back. It wouldn't have annoyed me so much if she had not had that goofy grin every time she did it. He worked with Susan and she was either annoying him or texting away on her phone, so he didn't have a problem with texters. He had a problem with the stupid grin.

"That smells good," I said commenting on whatever Emma was making on the stove top. Since I had bought all the food during her little meltdown at the grocery store she insisted on making it up to me by cooking everyday since.

"Mmmm," she responded, "Chicken Rigatoni." She grabbed a clean fork from inside the drawers and poked at a piece at pasta before passing the fork over to me for a taste. I took it and chewed on it carefully.

"It tastes great," I said, "You should work at the Olive Garden."

She laughed and dropped the fork in the sink before going back to answer another text. I didn't want to make any assumptions but I had seen that stupid goofy grin on Susan enough times to know that she was texting a guy. Had I really thought that a girl like her would remain single for long?

"So whose the guy?" I asked getting back to work but I paid zero attention to it. My mind was totally focused on what Emma was doing.

She stopped moving around cooking the pasta and chopping vegetables to look at me, "Some guy from work." She was being so coy, definitely not just a guy from work. "We went to get a cup of coffee the other day."

"Really?" I shut my laptop a bit harshly and stood up to help her with the dishes. She scooted over a bit timidly and continued to chop the tomatoes. "Is he the messenger boy."

"No," she said slamming the knife hard on the poor tomato. I had obviously hit a nerve, "the messenger boy is actually a man named Pete who is married and has a baby boy. I don't date married men." Aha.

"So you're dating this coffee shop guy," I asked cornering her with my words. She stumbled on her own words but that was more than enough for me. I finished washing the dishes and went to the cupboards to grab dry plates to set the table. "So if he's not the messenger boy is he the assistant messenger boy?"

Instead of responding to my harsh tone Emma decided to keep the mood light, "No," she said transferring the tomato sauce over to some pasta but leaving the rest in the pot, "he is the director of Art and Publishing in the company."

"Oh a free spirit," I said placing down the forks and knifes.

"Some would say you're a free spirit too Ryan," she walked over with the salad and placed it on the table before going back for the pasta. I walked back with her to grab some napkins and cups.

"Yes," I said grabbing my things and walking behind her while she carried the bowl of pasta, "but you're not dating me." She stopped walking suddenly and I almost ran into her. She turned around slowly with a grin on her face. "What?" I asked.

She arched her eyebrow and grinned harder, "Nothing," she looked me down and back up before turning around and walking back to the table. She grabbed her phone in her hand and excused herself to wash her hands in the bathroom while I washed mine in the kitchen. When she returned her phone was gone and all of her attention was on me and how my day went. I'd been caught and I fucken knew it.

**Emma**

"How good are you at packing?" I asked Ryan while I stood by the door that led into his room. Aside from walking around half naked he also had the habit of walking into my room without knocking, or waiting to be invited in, or caring about whether I was naked or not. I on the other hand valued privacy and I may or may not care too much about walking in on a naked Ryan but I did have my dignity and self preservation, so I wouldn't do that.

"I'm excellent," he said throwing a pair of socks from the ground in his suit case. I cringed wondering if they were clean or not.

"I'm not seeing excellence, I'm seeing a month of dirty clothes and half eaten Twinkie boxes on the tour bus," I walked into his room and carefully took out the socks he had thrown in. I held them at a close enough range where I could smell them but not so close that I would have to go wash my face. They smelled like detergent so I praised him for that.

"You should come by the offices tomorrow," Ryan said dropping an arm full of shirts and other garments into his suitcase unceremoniously, "Sergey will be there. I'll introduce you to Elfie and Josh as well."

"Wow," I said feeling myself suddenly become very nervous. I had a date with Connor tomorrow night but I didn't know how to break it to Ryan, "I wish I could…but I already made plans, sort of."

He stopped walking back to his dresser to look at me, "Sort of?" he asked.

"They're not set in stone," I really hope they weren't, "I'll try to get out of them."

"I wouldn't want you to disappoint certain _people_," he returned to his dresser and looked around quite viciously for something, "it's not like you'll never meet them."

"I want to meet them!" I blurted out. I really did. Connor had been nice enough at the coffee shop but he had this thing where he kept staring at me and I couldn't get work done, it made me really uncomfortable. The guy was a nice piece of arm candy and all but we hadn't connected so much that I was willing to pass up meeting part of the ex-paranormal state team. I could go out with Connor any day of the week, but I would have to wait a whole month to meet these guys again.

"So you'll come?" he asked sounding hopeful while he looked over his shoulder at me.

"Sure," I said defeated. I hated being the person who canceled things. It made me feel like the bad guy. "I'll call certain _people_ and cancel."

"Excellent," Ryan said going back to packing. I sighed and left his room. He was leaving in two days. I didn't know how I would survive, or if I would. I'd see him in Miami though, they were expanding the tour and he had explained to me that Miami would be half work, half play since the destination they had chosen was not actually haunted. When they had investigated there they had only found poltergeist activity and that would be safe enough for me.

I sat on the couch and pulled my legs up. I didn't want to call Connor. I wondered if society would just let me text him and cancel. People did that right? _Hey too busy to hang out tomorrow but I'll text you about possibly meeting up next week instead._ That sounded nice enough in my head so I did it. I breathed a sigh of relief when he texted back an _alright._

"I need underwear," Ryan suddenly said coming out of his room and going straight to the kitchen. I followed him in and saw him looking through the refrigerator.

"I'm afraid you won't find any there," I said.

"What?" he looked up, noticed me and then went back to looking inside the refrigerator, "right no, I'm looking for some juice. Do we have any?"

"No," I had noticed in the past week that Ryan did this thing where he got very distracted and went from one thing to the next in .5 seconds.

He stood straight and walked over to the counter, tapping his hands on it like a drum. "We should buy some," he looked at me, nodded then walked out of the kitchen and back into his room. I laughed a bit when he didn't resurface. I imagined that he had thought about a million different things that made him forget his underwear and the juice. I sat back down on the couch and turned the television on. Xander came over to me and laid his head on my lap. I really loved this dog. I couldn't imagine him doing the same thing that other dog had tried to do.

Xander looked up suddenly and started licking my face, like he knew what I was thinking about. "You really are the best ghost hunting dog ever," he wagged his tail and sunk back into the couch, he leaned against me and we both sat there watching some crappy reality t.v show. An hour later Ryan resurfaced looking more frantic. The closer the tour got the more nervous and anxious he became. Sometimes he was downright mean, other times he just ignored me.

"Did you use my towel," he held it up and I saw that it was soaking wet. I had never used another person's towel because 1) It was downright gross and 2) It was downright nasty.

Instead of telling him that he was out of his mind I said, "No, you used it to dry Xander off this morning. Remember?" He looked angry for all of two seconds before calming back down and going back into his room. Probably to find something he really could yell at me for.

"Don't worry buddy," I told Xander as I snuggled him more into my side, "daddy is crazy. He's got his panties in a twist, the whole-thorn in his side, and knickers in a bunch." I laughed to myself even though Xander probably didn't understand a single thing I was saying.

"Aha!" I heard Ryan yell from inside his room. A second later he was standing on the threshold looking at me like he had finally caught me doing something bad, "You left hair in the bathtub."

"What color is it?" I asked smiling.

He looked at my head briefly and then at Xander before sighing and walking back into his room. He had given Xander a bath inside the tub. Really this was ridiculous. I stood up and Xander came after me. I walked into Ryan's room finding him pacing and looking like he was going to pass out any minute.

"You need a tranquilizer," I walked over to him and grabbed his hand, "for a bear or Godzilla." I pulled him out of the room and walked him over to the couch, "you need to calm down before you have a heart attack. Now sit, enjoy some crappy television with Xander, and I'll make some popcorn." He started to protest but I held a finger up, "No but's mister, now relax!"

He shrank into the sofa cushions and crossed his arms. Like I was making him have fun or something. I made us the popcorn and made him eat it while we watched some travel channel. I don't know what it was but it was like singing a lullaby to him. If I wanted to shut him up good all I had to do was put on some House Hunters International and he was good to go.

I hadn't noticed the time flying by or the marathon of House Hunters ending. All I knew is that I woke up early the next morning on the couch with Ryan behind me and a sleepy Xander by my feet, keeping me warm. Ryan had his arm around me and his face in my hair.

I thought his arm was just draped around my waist but when I went to move it out of the way because I really needed to use the ladies room, I realized he was actually holding me there. And damn if he didn't have a strong grip even in his sleep. I thought that maybe I could ignore nature calling and just go back to sleep but I couldn't. Now that I knew where I was, how I was, and how I wasn't going to be getting out of his grasp anytime soon I couldn't sleep. I tried effortlessly to move his hand without waking him but I couldn't. Even Xander was still sleeping and it hurt me more to move my legs out of the way and wake him up.

"Ryan," I whispered trying to calmly wake him instead of downright yelling at him. "Ryan wake up." He didn't even flinch, he just kept sleeping. "Ryan goddammit wake up," I whispered a bit louder. My lower parts were screaming at me to go to the little girls room. When finally I thought I would burst or possibly reduce to tears Ryan's eyes started opening. I looked at him while he got his bearings. When he finally realized where we were and how we were his eyes opened wide and he basically threw me off the couch. I landed on my butt but the least of my worries was fretting over that. I rushed to the bathroom and left Ryan to his own devices.

I would be ashamed but he was the one who had the death grip on me. Who knew the guy packed some serious muscle? When I came out of the bathroom he was gone and the stereo inside his room was on. I shook my head and walked into my room to get a bit more sleep. It was my day off and I knew I had the luxury to sleep in until whenever I wanted. I didn't have anything planned except going to the PRS offices.

When I slept I dreamed of the things that could have gone on, on that couch. Needless to say even I had to take a cold shower when I woke up.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope this uploaded on Wednesday, if it uploaded before then enjoy. If it didn't upload at all, then I'm just talking to myself.<strong>

**Review (:**


	12. Just Friends

**Emma**

"Ready," I said grabbing my keys and bag and going to stand next to the front door. Xander followed me wagging his tail the whole time. Ryan walked out of his room with nothing but the clothes on his back. He seemed relatively calmer and better put together than he had in the past weeks but I could still tell that he was stressed out. This guy needed a vacation.

"Let's walk," he said looking at the keys in my hand, "it's nice outside." It was actually raining but I couldn't say no to him. He was housing me and putting up with my drama and I liked the rain anyway. I walked back into my room and came back out wearing a heavy jacket that was sure to keep me warm and dry.

We were quite while we walked, I wasn't sure if it was because he still felt awkward about waking up on the couch with me or if the stress over the next few weeks had finally landed him mute. I was worried that he would bring up what I had felt very clearly on the small of my back while he held me to him with an iron grip. I didn't want him to apologize, he was a young guy…things like _that_ happened to young guys all the time. Multiple times. A day. I didn't have any male siblings but I had lived in a co-ed dorm in Berkeley. I knew what happened to guys in the mornings.

I was holding my breath the whole time; maybe if I fainted he wouldn't bring it up…and then, "I'm really sorry about this morning-" he started to say but I panicked and interrupted him.

"It's okay! It's fine, let's move on…." I nervously laughed and sunk my head deeper into my hoodie hoping to hide my blush. Yeah I was totally acting like the virgin I wasn't. Not that that particular subject would make me feel any less awkward. We were uncomfortably silent for a long moment, during which I had started humming show tunes and I was getting progressively worse. I was in the middle of a wonderful reenactment of the Harry Potter credits song when Ryan decided to interrupt again.

"Was what's his face okay with you ditching him?" he asked trying to sound casual. I didn't understand why he talked about Connor like that, they didn't even know each other and Ryan already seemed to be harboring a strong dislike towards him. Perhaps it was my imagination but while we prepped for dinner yesterday night, he almost seemed jealous.

"I suppose," I said honestly, "if he's not then he'll get over it. We're just friends anyway," I felt like I needed to defend whatever Connor and I had. Which if I was being honest, was just a friendship. All we had had was a cup of coffee and a bagel. Hardly anything serious. Now if they had eaten a pizza or gone out to dinner….

"Well I'm glad you came," Ryan said picking up his speed when the PRS building came into view, "they'll love you."

I finished my Harry Potter tune just in time for Ryan to open the door for me like a true gentlemen. He was southern after all.

**Ryan**

"So she's the girl?" Jordan, an intern we had hired for on tour help asked me. I looked away from Emma who was chatting with Josh, Elfie and Sergey to look at Jordan and her knowing smirk.

"She's Emma," I said walking over to the snacks on a table we had set up and finger picked through the crackers and fruit. I wasn't paying attention except to the laughter coming from the group at something Sergey was saying. I concentrated on Emma's sweet laughs and the way her lips moved to something she was saying. She had been a hit with the original PRS crew and the interns loved her as well.

"Yeah, Emma is _the_ girl…" Jordan pushed. I breathed in deeply and tried not to roll my eyes. Jordan worked closely with Susan and it was obvious they were spending far too much time together. Normally I would have snapped by now and told her to take a hike, especially with the fieldtrips starting tomorrow but I reigned in my beast and humored her.

"What girl?" I asked without taking my eyes off of Emma as I ate what I had picked.

"Your girl," Jordan said with a chuckle, "or is she available? Because Josh seems to be flirting with her a lot." She popped a grape into her mouth without disturbing her perfect smirk.

"He's not flirting," I put my food down and straightened out my shoulders, "and no she's not available." I might as well have peeed on her to make it clear to everyone she was not in fact, available.

"Who's not available?" a familiar voice said behind me. I spun around and grinned when I noticed Susan standing there.

"I should fire you for being late," I said crossing my hands across my chest and glaring down at her without one ounce of seriousness in my voice.

"Yeah yeah," she walked around me and picked up the food that I had been eating and stuffed her face before I could stop her, "but then who would be in charge while you're out catching panties and ghosts."

"I don't catch panties," I came down from my stance and glared at Jordan so she would leave, "and stop eating all of my food." I took my plate away from her and leaned against the table to look at Emma again. Susan caught me and put her hands on her hips.

"That's the girl?" she asked in the same tone of voice that Jordan had, "she's quite the looker Ryan, good job."

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm just helping her out."

"You're helping her out of her bra?" she laughed so I threw my grapes at her hoping for one of them to get lodged in her throat. She continued to laugh hysterically until we had the attention of everyone in the office including Emma. I noticed her end her conversation with her group and excuse herself. She started making her way over to where Susan was still laughing and where I was starting to panic. I didn't want Susan to say the wrong thing.

"Hello," Emma said politely to Susan who stopped laughing almost immediately, "you must be Susan, Ryan talks about you all the time."

"Good things I hope," she said stealing a grape from my plate while I glared at her.

"Rarely," Emma said honestly but with a smile, "he speaks with a certain misguided affinity for you."

Susan laughed and before she could steal another grape I moved to stand next to Emma so she couldn't reach, "Yes, misguided by sarcasm and infinite wittiness."

"You're not witty," I said eating the rest of my food before she could get to me.

"Of course not sweetheart," Susan grabbed Emma's arm and guided her away from me but I followed closely behind, "so tell me, how is it living with Tom Riddle?"

"I'm a lot more like Dumbledore," I interjected feigning hurt.

"We'll compromise with Snape, shall we?" Susan said over her shoulder and looked back at Emma, "so has he walked in on you naked yet?"

"Uh," Emma blushed and covered up her silence by drinking from her cup, "no not yet but he's been close." I was surprised but I smiled slyly anyway. I had walked in on Susan once during a fieldtrip last year but she had just laughed it off. I really had no consideration for other's spaces.

"Oh are those doughnut holes?" Susan suddenly said turning around and punching me in the arm, "you know I love those!" she hurried off and left us forgotten. I was glad she was gone but now that she was, Emma and I had nothing to do but stare at each other.

"She seems lovely," Emma said after a while, "I like her." I breathed a deep sigh of relief. Susan was hard to handle on normal days and these last few days were far from it.

"She likes you too," I offered.

"How do you know?" she turned her body to face me so I did the same. I remembered something from a psychology course I had taken in college about how it was a good thing when somebody turned to face you or if their feet pointed in your direction, they were interested in what you were saying.

"She would have told you she didn't otherwise," I laughed at her expression and it made her smile. God I loved her smile and her eyes and just everything about her. I stopped before I got too ahead of myself. She was someone I was helping out by housing her and researching her little hitchhiker. I was already stumped about letting her stay in my house. I rarely even let my brother stay with me. But I had let in this total stranger into the room next to me.

A little voice inside my head told me she wasn't a stranger though. I had seen her in my dreams and she had seen me in hers. I had been where she was; stalked, confused, vulnerable and with no obvious way out. I didn't owe her anything but I felt like she deserved to be given the world.

"So...umm…when is Lorraine stopping by exactly?" Emma asked nervously. She had been avoiding talking about Lorraine in the hopes that I would reconsider bringing her in but that had been my one condition.

"Next week," I said, "she'll just stay the one night and you'll be done with it." Emma looked away and I noticed her avoiding my eyes.

"Why do you dislike her so much?" I asked curiously. I realized I hadn't bothered trying to understand why she was so against Lorraine.

"It's Katie," Emma said simply. She abandoned her cup on the table, crossed her arms and walked away without making a scene. That was either an invitation to follow her or an indication that I had asked something I wasn't supposed too.

I followed her out of the offices and found her leaning against a bike rack that the school had implemented next to the building. She was clutching her sides and I realized she was cold. I took off my jacket and draped it over her shoulders for warmth.

Without looking at me she started to explain why she was so against Lorraine, "I told you that after the accident I had started to see Katie in my dreams. She wasn't just in my dreams Ryan. I would see her everywhere I went; school, in my apartment, on the street. I knew she blamed me for more than just the accident. I was terrified but I just pretended I didn't see her. I guess that angered her so she started acting out either to get my attention or hurt me, I'm not sure." Emma was shivering but I wasn't sure if it was the cold or the memories of Katie, her best friends late girlfriend.

"Eventually I had had enough so I called the local priest. He was only supposed to bless my apartment but Katie didn't want him at all there. While he was there; things flew around, my stuff was thrown, and I was weakened by all the activity. This is mostly why Michelle thinks I'm more sensitive than I was before the accident. Katie drained me somehow and manifested long enough to make her point clear. She wasn't going anywhere."

Emma took a break and so did I. I walked around trying to breathe in and out with my hands on the back of my neck. I looked up at the stars and the moon and wondered how my life had come to be involved in this. I glanced back at Emma and she had her eyes closed, I hoped she would be okay while I was gone. Everything inside me was screaming attachment but I knew I had to go and leave her be for a while.

"The priest came back and offered me an option; I could do an exorcism on the house or move. Shows how much he knew about the situation. He didn't listen when I tried to explain, he didn't care he just did. I was just so tired. I wanted her gone at whatever costs so I agreed to the exorcism. Oh Ryan, it was terrible. I think it took more out of me than it did her. I couldn't sleep or study or eat. I only apologized, day and night to her. I know she wasn't this evil spirit. She was an angry girlfriend, killed tragically. So I just apologized until she left. This is what happened to her and it nearly left me comatose, I don't want it to happen to me. Lorraine is a sensitive and she's religious. I just know she'll want to do the same to me-"

I interrupted her by bringing her into my arms. I buried my head into the gap between her neck and shoulder and slowly rocked her. It was what my mother would do to me to calm me down. Nothing outside the protection my arms gave her mattered.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do," I said quietly, "she'll say whatever she wants to say and then talk to you about your options. You don't have to feel obliged to do anything."

"I just want it gone Ryan," she whispered, finally hugging me back, "I'll do anything to make it go away."

I didn't have anything to say to that so I just hugged her a while longer. It felt odd and strangely good to hold her like this. She was only a foot shorter than I was so our bodies fit perfectly. I wanted to go home and sleep. I wanted to know that she was safe in the room next to mine and that she could wake up tomorrow and not look over her shoulder. I wanted us to be friends without the excuse of only being together because we had this one thing in common. But the same old Ryan who couldn't allow himself to get attached reminded this Ryan who was holding Emma that it was unwise.

She needed a ghost investigator not some romance. I was content with being friends. I had to be.


	13. It's nothing

**Ryan**

* * *

><p>"Okay okay I got one," Susan said putting her shot glass down with a smile, "I've never been to Disneyland slash Disneyworld."<p>

Three other people in the circle groaned, picked up their refilled shot glasses and drank. Emma was one of them and I watched her throw back her vodka with a grin. I had to admit that she was a good drinker but this game was still kicking her ass. There wasn't one thing she hadn't done that the rest had.

We had hugged a while and then we just stood outside silently. Neither one of us had talked but it felt good. It wasn't awkward or forced. It was just us. Of course I hadn't been able to do that with someone in such a long time. I yearned for a relationship like that. Knowing I couldn't have one with her when she was the only one who could make me feel all these emotions again was torture. The devil on my shoulder urged me to just try it out. That maybe she felt the same way or could given the option. But I knew better than that. We were both caring some heavy packages. I didn't want to ruin this new friendship.

"My turn!" Emma said loudly. She was on her 6th shot and she was still standing but I had been watching her closely. I was ready to catch her any minute now. "I have never been fired from a job." I glanced back at the group and was surprised to see each and everyone of my employees and friends pick up their glasses. I wasn't drinking seeing as there had to be at least one sober person tomorrow and because I wanted to remember a drunk Emma.

"Wow, should I have even hired any of you?" I asked the group in general while I drank my one beer. I wasn't big on drinking but I definitely enjoyed watching others do it.

"My turn," Sergey said refilling everyone's glasses. He had only had two shots so he was fine but it was a nice change to see my best friend drinking. "I think it's time we get kinky," he winked in my direction and I laughed. Thank god I wasn't playing. "I have never had phone sex."

"Fuck," I heard Emma whisper and throw back another shot. The head motion made her dizzy and I casually stood up to grab her before she fell on the floor. I knew from experience that people didn't want to be helped while they were drunk, it was only an incentive to drink more and prove that they were in fact, 'all right'. She looked at me when she felt my hands on her waist and smiled a sweet smile, "How'd you get here so fast?"

"I ran," I said laughing lightly while Sergey refilled the shot glasses. No one was as far gone as Emma but they were certainly close. Especially Susan, which I noticed was struggling to stay up right on her tiny stool.

Sergey bumped Josh on the shoulder to let him know he was next. I knew Josh was a lightweight but he was holding up tonight, "I have never….done it in a public place."

"Of fuck me then!" Susan shouted, "Sergey you should probably pour me six shots," she started laughing her head off and just like Emma she became dizzy and toppled back on her seat. She continued to laugh on the floor like a maniac while everyone else joined in. If I knew Susan; and I was sure I did, she would start crying any minute. She was always like this. She went from laughing hysterically to sobbing uncontrollably.

I eyed Sergey and nodded at him. He understood and went to pick Susan up, all the while whispering how tired she was and that she should probably get home.

"Are you good to drive?" I asked Sergey, "I could call some cabs."

"Nah," he supported Susan easily with one arm while the other one pulled out his keys, "I only had one shot and the other one was water."

"Ryan," Emma whispered even though she was right by ear, "I have to pee and….probably puke." She giggled and tried to walk to the bathroom alone but I held her back and told her I needed to go too just so she wouldn't think I didn't trust her going alone, which I didn't.

"ALRIGHT then," I smiled at Sergey and said goodnight to everyone else while I walked Emma to the bathroom. By the time she was done we were the only ones in the building and I was glad to know she hadn't thrown up. Of course that didn't mean she wouldn't later tonight or early tomorrow morning. I was glad Susan had scheduled our flights to Arizona at noon and that Emma had another day off tomorrow.

Emma opened up the heavy door to the bathroom and struggled to get out while keeping it away so it wouldn't hit her. I watched for a few seconds before I felt bad and helped her. I held it away from her as she struggled to walk out and hit it simultaneously for not letting her out. I was getting a kick out of this side of Emma and I was sure to remind her of it tomorrow.

"Stupid door," she whispered trying to walk by herself. Another thing I learned about drunk people, don't help them walk. Just stay closely behind and pretend to be doing something else. "You know," she said bumping into a wall, "I'm not that drunk, I'm actually pretty sober."

"I'm sure you are," I said holding back so many laughs. We had gotten to the part in the building where everyone had been drinking and naturally Emma went for the open Vodka bottle that Sergey had left on the table. I got there before she could and took it away, putting it in a cabinet far away from her.

"I'm not drunk enough to not notice what you just did there Buell!" She yelled and pointed at me accusingly, "I'm not that drunk!"

"No you're not," I said walking over to clean up the mess while she just stood there watching me, "you're perfectly sober."

"Thank you!" she yelled and walked over to a random desk to lean against it, "I'm so sober in fact that I could probably run a marathon." She leaned back on the desk and lost her balance but she caught herself in time and didn't fall. "I'm tired," she said lazily, "I'm going to sit, but I'm not drunk okay! So don't think I'm sitting because I'm drunk, because I'm not!"

I hid a grin and went back to cleaning. I was so caught up in what I was doing that when I was done and I looked back to where Emma had been sitting she was gone. My heart thumped in my heart as I yelled her name. A soft _up here_ came from the second level and I ran up the stairs two at a time. I found Emma in a chair facing the glass wall she so loved.

Her head was leaning on the shoulder of the chair and her legs were pulled up into her. She was staring out of the window into the campus with glazed eyes. I walked over to her and sat on the floor. Instead of joining her to stare out into the night, I looked at her.

"It's so pretty here at night," she whispered, "I love it." She looked away from the window and down at me with a smile. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too," I said honestly. I leaned forward against my will and looked at her lips. All it would take was for her to lean in a little bit. I tried to remember how many beers I had drank but I couldn't recall. I was way more sober than she was but clearly not sober enough.

She put her arms on the side of the chair and rested her chin on top of them. She was closer but not close enough. Her green eyes didn't look as glazed over but I could smell the vodka mixed in with her perfume.

"I'll see you in Miami right?" she whispered again, "in two weeks?" She leaned over again and this time it was close enough. It was all up to me.

"Right," I whispered back, "two weeks…" I could probably kiss her and she wouldn't remember tomorrow. I was this close. She was leaning in, I was leaning in and then…her eyes widened and she reached for a trash can next to me on the floor, picked it up and puked in it. I sighed and pulled away. I kneeled and grabbed as much of her hair to get it out of the way as she heaved. Between breaths she would apologize and then continue.

Yeah….just friends.

**Emma **

"Mother fucker!" I screamed when I opened my eyes. Everything was so bright and alive. The room was spinning and it wouldn't stop. I reached out to feel my surroundings and squinted at the sun pouring in from the living room window. Why wasn't I in my bed? Why was I so fucken hung over. I giggled and plopped my head back on the couch. Oh god….I was still drunk.

"Morningggg," a voice said from besides me. I recognized Ryan's deep voice, deep and loud. I groaned and turned over on my side away from him. "Here take this," I turned around and peeked at him with one eye. He was holding a shot glass with a pink liquid in it and a smug smile on his face.

"What is that?" I said groggily. I tried to sit up on my own but I couldn't. Whenever I got drunk I became extremely dizzy. I was a mess this morning thanks to the guy in front of me who was probably holding a shot glass of alcohol.

"It's nothing," Ryan said putting the shot glass on the living room table and helping me sit up. I noticed how confident he was being while man handling me. A sudden realization that made my head spin more dawned on me. Had we done anything? I looked down at myself and breathed a sigh of relief. My clothes were still on; I had an unexplainable stain on my leg, but other than that I was fine.

"I can smell it from here Ryan," I said momentarily remembering the shot glass. He held onto me with one arm and grabbed the shot glass, "it's Tequila." He handed it to me and smiled from ear to ear. "Bottoms up," I signed and threw it back. I was part Mexican so I had experience with this particular brand of alcohol but my hangover and the extreme enhancement of my senses made me unprepared for the bitterness and strength of the Tequila. I doubled over and found myself faced with a trashcan but nothing came out. I just breathed deeply and closed my eyes. I could feel Ryan's hand rub soothing circles on my back and heard him whisper _It's okay. The trashcan is here if you need it. Don't worry, you were worse last night._ It didn't make me feel bad but I was definitely embarrassed.

I knew Ryan and I were friends but he had said he was a private guy. The way he'd said made it sound like he rarely had to deal with drunken girls who threw up on themselves or who kicked bathroom doors. Oh God. I was getting random flash backs from last night.

"I flashed you!" I said coming back up into a full upright position that made my head spin like a Top spinning toy. I leaned back into the sofa to stop it and Ryan came into clear view. He was holding back a laugh which only made want to gag.

"No not really," he said emphasizing the really. "You did flash my neighbor which you said and I quote, _I wouldn't mind if he gave it to me sideways and upside down._ While his wife was there bringing in their groceries." I put both hands to my mouth to stop the gasp. "Nice bra though."

"Omg I want to die," I covered my eyes and wished myself invisible. If I couldn't see him, he couldn't see me.

"In the whole grand scheme of things, that was the tamest thing you did," he stood up with the shot glass and walked into the kitchen. He came back a moment later with a glass of water and another smug grin. "I have pictures if you want to see them."

"Oh god no," I said taking the water from him, "just tell me." I grabbed one of the couch pillows to hug it and drank my water slowly.

"Well after I assured my neighbors that they did not in fact need to call the police, I pulled down your shirt, you got mad at me and went to run around shirtless in my other neighbors lawn while their sprinklers came on. You kept yelling for Forrest. I took a few pictures then went after you. By the way you owe me new shoes, they were ruined while I tried to catch you. I had to yell Jenny so you would come."

"Oh please don't continue," I said, "how did nobody call the cops?"

"The neighbor you flashed probably liked the water show," he shrugged and grinned, "I got you back in the house and made you eat something but before you could finish you through your pop tart at me quite strongly I may add and started singing something in Spanish. I left you in the living room with Xander and packed the rest of my things. You found my Tequila though."

"That's your fault," I said laughing a bit, "you don't leave a drunk girl free to roam your house while there is Tequila laying around."

"Yeah," he stood up to stretch and I couldn't help but stare at his muscles, "lesson learned Jenny."

"I thought I was Juliet?" I frowned. I put my glass on the table and used Ryan as human crutch to stand up, "although I have to admit I would like to call you Forrest.

"I liked Romeo, very cliché and romantic," he said guiding me to my room.

I made a gagging sound at that, "Fine, I'll call you Romeo and you can call me Jenny. Deal?"

"Yes Jenny," he said in a Forrest Gump voice that made me giggle. He helped me into my bed and pulled the sheets around me, "wake me up before you leave," I said already being pulled into a deep deep slumber by some unknown force.

"Course," he brushed my bangs aside and kissed me softly on the forehead. I would take it. I didn't have the strength to pull him back to give him a proper kiss. Besides, I was probably still drunk. I would regret it when I was completely sober. He turned off my light and closed the door and before I knew it, I was dead to the world.


	14. The Dream Part 1

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any references to Paranormal State nor do I claim to have extensive knowledge of the Paranormal. I also do not claim that anything I say about Mr. Ryan Daniel Buell is true. I am only the owner of the plot. So...that's it :)**

* * *

><p><em>I knew I was dreaming and yet I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't stop myself from having nightmares which felt so real, so real in fact that I couldn't distinguish between the moment I fell asleep from the moment I awoke. Each time they were different nightmares but they always made me feel the same. Terrified. Today's nightmare wasn't completely surprising.<em>

_There were hundreds of crows in the backyard and inside the house and on me. I could distinctly see Lorraine sitting next to me on the floor watching me as I tried to hold my composure. I could hear Xander barking and trying to scare the crows off of me but he couldn't move. He was stuck in a corner, held back by some invisible force. He couldn't come to me but the crows couldn't get to him either._

_I wanted to cry for him. I wanted to reach out and pet him and in return have him console me. Lorraine kept whispering something to me about Xander. Had I made it obvious that I wanted to go to him? I felt that I would be safe if I was next to him. I tried to differentiate the movement of her lips and tried to put movement to sound. I couldn't hear her because there were so many crows._

_I screamed bloody murder when one of them pecked me. The rest followed suit and soon I wanted to die from the pain. Yet Lorraine still whispered and Xander barked louder. The whole house was shaking, crumbling under the same invisible force that was holding Xander back. I knew that if the roof caved in I would be safe. The crows would leave and then I could die in peace. Crushed yes, but death must be better than this pain._

_I continued to scream. I wanted to trash around but I knew it would attract more crows. I yearend to be awake up but Lorraine kept mouthing __**Not Yet **__to me. It was the only thing I could make out. I turned my head to the side and saw the Wild Life Preservation Center guy. He looked at me sadly and told me that I shouldn't go outside unprotected. That I should probably wear a bee suit. I wanted to laugh and tell him it was too late. He shrugged his shoulders and told me it wasn't uncommon for birds to behave this way. I didn't respond so he left._

_I could see pieces of drywall falling off the walls. Some flew out straight to the other side of the room, other's just fell to the ground. The walls shook and the ground I lay on moved like the floor of a fun house. I could hear Lorraine now. She was screaming encouragements. I didn't know an older lady like herself could scream like that. Xander was barking uncontrollably now. If he didn't stop he would loose all of his hair and Ryan would kill me if he came back to a bald dog._

"_Almost there Sweetheart, hold on!" Lorraine screamed so I could hear her above my own. I balled my hands into fists to stop my self from kicking and punching. I didn't want to look down at myself. I must have been just bones and blood._

_I couldn't breathe or think about anything besides the pain. There was a pounding in my head and a voice talking in a language I didn't recognize. I knew it was a good voice. I felt comforted by it._

_Suddenly Lorraine grabbed my arm and held onto dear life, the birds ignored her hands and continued to peck around them. Parts of the roof had caved in and I couldn't hear Xander barking anymore. I stopped screaming and cried instead. The crows leaped off me and flew away but I still couldn't move. _

"_This is so much greater…" Lorraine whispered. I looked at her and I wished I hadn't. She looked scared, terrified even but she held on with a determination an 80 year old woman probably shouldn't have had. "You're going to be okay Emma," her voice broke. The room stopped moving and the only sounds I could hear where my sobs and Lorraine's low whispers. I could hear whining coming from behind a piece of dry wall and I knew it was Xander. Something told me he wasn't hurt, he was scared._

_I could feel an anxiety attack coming. It felt a million times worse. Like when the thief had pointed his knife at me and I knew I was going to die. I wanted to crawl into a corner and shut my eyes and never open them again.. I felt two claws at my feet and screamed. Fuck what Lorraine told me, was the first thought that popped into my head. I kicked and punched the floor underneath me to try to stop whatever was trying to pull me down to the pits of hell. Lorraine was yelling at me to wake up. She was pleading. I looked over at where she had been and she was gone. I needed to wake up. I had to wake up._

**Earlier that day**

"Stop barking!" I yelled in the general direction of the backyard hoping that Xander could hear me. I had had a long week of work and preparing the house for Lorraine's visit. I had taken extra work home just so I could have the next four days off. I had pulled two all nighters and the rest of the days I had only slept 5 hours. I was back on the coffee but I knew it would be worth it. I'd have to pretend I was happy go lucky Emma with Lorraine and then when she left I'd pick up Michelle from the airport and take a day long nap.

Xander picked up his barking yet again and this time I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. I lay awake a few moments before his barks went from annoying to rapid oh shit there might be an intruder barks. I had had a dog when I was growing up in a rather unsafe neighborhood. I knew the difference between; I'm hungry, play with me, and someone just got too close to the fence, barks.

I dressed as quickly as I could and ran out with Ryan's bat in my hands ready to home run someone's ass. I dropped the bat when I got to the sliding doors that led to the backyard. I didn't think-I just opened them, screamed for Xander and moved aside as he all but leaped from where he was across the yard to inside the house. I locked the door and ran to my room for my phone. I was glad Ryan had convinced me to invest and get an iPhone. I all but screamed at Siri to find the nearest Veterinarian or Police office, anything short of the goddamn Navy.

I talked with the man on the phone and told him I needed someone who specialized with a plague of birds. Specifically crows. He laughed for a minute thinking I was joking. When he noticed I wasn't kidding he asked if I was serious and then said he could call a guy out in Vermont but that he couldn't be out there until later in the day. I looked at poor Xander who was huddled in a corner whining. I told the guy that it would be fine and that I'd pay for the travel time. I hung up and called the Veterinarian that Xander went to. I noticed Ryan had left the number on the refrigerator.

I explained my situation and he told me to set food and water for him on the side. That when he was ready he would come out of his shock and eat. I shouldn't touch him or talk to him. Just let him come out of his scare. I did as he asked and walked away from Xander. I found myself in front of the sliding doors again and looked at the backyard.

There must have been at least 300 hundred. Crowded on the porch, the lone tree, and all over Xander's dog house. That wasn't what terrified me though. All those dark beady eyes were staring right back at me. I pulled the curtains close and decided to get ready for the day. All I needed to do was go by work, pick up some manuscripts and pick up dinner for Lorraine and I. I would also have to stop by the bank to get money for the bird guy.

I sighed when I closed the door and breathed deeply when I realized there were no crows on the front lawn. That would have been hard to explain to the neighbors. I treaded extra carefully while I ran my errands. I didn't talk to anyone at work or while I pulled money from the ATM. I drove safely and kept my eyes down the entire time.

I knew that the mornings event hadn't been coincidence. Whether it was because Lorraine was coming or because Ryan had left I wasn't sure. I just knew that a **murder of crows *1** didn't happen everyday to just one house in Pennsylvania.

I stopped by the grocery store to pick up chicken and vegetables. I wasn't up to making a big elaborate dinner even though I knew I should. Lorraine was traveling from Georgia and it wasn't a long flight but to an 80 something year old woman it might as well have been a flight from California. I looked at my cart and added a few more things. I would cook for Michelle and then I could take her out to eat. With Ryan refusing to allow me to pay rent I had a lot of extra cash on me. Not to mention the money that was going to come in as compensation for the explosions. I did most of the cleaning and cooking and looking after Xander so I didn't feel completely maintained. I knew I was just kidding myself. If Xander didn't recover from his fright I'd probably owe Ryan a sane dog.

I walked the aisles slowly to waste time. I thought about things I could get Ryan. Maybe a new bike or a good camera for his **webinar's *2 **that he seemed to love. I scratched off the bike idea because I knew he was picky. I needed to give him something better than a gift card to a bike shop. I considered the camera but I wasn't sure if he'd use it. I decided to stop by and check out the prices. I could probably talk to Sergey when they came back from tour and pick his brain about a good camera.

I picked up a rather large Canon and pictured Ryan using it. He had done a webinar from home and I had watched fascinated. Of course he did it on an old camera that looked like crap. I asked him why he didn't simply invest in one and he said he didn't know anything about them. I put the Canon back on its stand and ogled the price of a Nikon. I could afford it of course but Ryan was much like me when it came to gifts that were far too expensive. All he would have to do is ask Sergey how much it cost and then he'd spend the rest of his life making up to me. I had to find a way to give it to him and make it sound like it was no big deal.

"That one is great for pictures you know," I jumped almost as far as Xander had that morning and clutched my hand at my heart as I looked around for the person who had scared me straight to hell. I found the source smiling at me with an apologetic grimace.

"Dr. Stevenson," I said breathlessly, "you scared me half to death." I was still clutching my heart but more so for the fact that this was the first doctor who looked better in civilian clothes rather than his white medical clothes. Don't get me wrong, who doesn't have a naughty doctor fantasy every once in a while?

"It's Niall outside of the hospital," he said in this unbelievably charming voice. Who says that other than in movies?

"Oh," I laughed nervously and pointed at the camera I had just been looking at, "you recommend it then?" I asked.

"Depends on what you want to use it for, Emma correct?" he asked picking up the camera, turning it on and snapping a quick picture of me. The longer is spent with this man the faster I realized that this guy was a guys guy. How many times could I say guy in my head?

"Mostly to record videos and yes it's Emma," I walked around him and picked up the Canon. The description said it was great for professional videos and I decided that I would come back with Sergey and buy that one.

"Do you shoot them or are you in them?" he arched his eye brow and I couldn't help but laugh. This guy had the wrong girl.

"I have to run," I said grabbing my cart and pushing it ahead and away from him, "I'm fine though, my health is great." I waved from my side and high tailed it out of the store. Why was my luck with men so shitty lately? Connor was Creepy McStaresALot, I puked on Ryan, and Dr. Stevenson was just…gross.

I checked my phone and I gasped when I realized I had spent the majority of my day out. I'd have to pick Lorraine up at the airport in 3 hours and I needed to be home before the bird guy came. I drove home in a daze. I hoped the birds had left and that Xander was back to normal. I didn't want to have to explain to Lorraine about this mornings incident. I was glad she was only staying the night. The woman had a busier schedule than the President and I didn't want to interfere with it. I had decided earlier in the week that I'd give her a chance. Regardless of the evidence that was against her I would cooperate. Anyone could say that Ryan or any of the other guys with Paranormal Shows faked everything. Anyone could say that they were phonies. Yet here I was living in Ryan's house, seeking his help and if he thought Lorraine could help then I would be open to it.

When I got home I set the groceries inside the kitchen and then went to look for Xander. I found him in the bathroom trying to drink from the toilet bowl and I almost cried from happiness. When he heard me he wagged his tail and almost jumped on me. He was back to normal thank God. I walked to the drapes that covered the sliding doors and peeked outside. If it was possible there were more birds. They weren't staring at me though so I set the drapes back.

I cleaned and fed Xander again seeing that he deserved a little pick me up. Or maybe I needed one and I could get it by seeing him happy. I needed him nice and full anyway so that he'd be too lazy to interact with Lorraine.

An hour later there was a knock on the door and I all but ran to the door to pull it open. I yanked the man in a jumpsuit into the house and walked quickly to the sliding doors.

"Uh I'm Mike from the Wild Life Preservation Center," he looked startled to have been manhandled by a woman. "George said you had a bird problem that needed fixing quickly?"

"Yeah," problem seemed to an understatement but I didn't say it out loud. "You have experience with crows?"

"Yes Ma'am," he said proudly, "we used to get them all the time by rivers where I'm from. They usually come out to eat after the rainy season or in the fall."

"Yeah well then I think you should use your expertise and tell me how much of a problem this is," he looked at me funny so I pulled the drapes away from the sliding door and stood back to observe his face. His whole composure seemed to die when he realized he was looking at a black blanket of feathers and beady eyes.

They were all looking back at us like we were their meal. I put my hands on my hips and stared back at them with just as much intensity. If it wasn't for the fact that they could peck me to death I would have run out there with a broom and shooed them away. I really hoped that Mike had a better, less crazy solution.

"What is this?" he asked looking back at me shocked, "I've heard of maybe 100 of them gathering, this isn't a murder ma'am this is a massacre."

"Is that the official term?" I asked even though I knew he was probably making it up. He looked at me, shook his head and walked back outside the house to his van. He came back dressed in a bee suit while he held a large tank and a sprayer at his side.

He walked inside the house making sure to close the front door safely. He came up to me and asked me if there were windows open around the house that the birds could fly in from. I shook my head no and eyed the tank.

"Are you going to spray them with that?" I asked. I had developed a strong dislike for crows today but I didn't want them to be hurt.

"I'm not allowed to harm the birds unless I find necessary evidence that they have posed a danger to you or your community."

"They scared my dog into shock," I said hoping it would help, "it won't kill them right?"

"No ma'am," he shook his tank and pressed a button, "it'll scare them good and they'll fly until they get the residue off of their bodies which will probably be a few miles."

"Do I stay inside?" I asked.

"Yes, you should always wear protection when it comes to crows. Some of them carry nasty diseases that could be passed on with a peck." He looked outside and gave his tank another shake, "it's not uncommon for them to behave this way, it's just uncommon for so many of them to behave like this _together_." He pressed another button on his tank and grabbed the sprayer, "open and shut the door quickly, I suggest you don't stand near the doors."

I nodded and pulled the door open quickly, he ran out and before he stared spraying I had the door shut and locked. I stepped away and I quickly found out why I shouldn't stand close. He began spraying and the birds closest to the doors slammed against the glass and shook it. They were trying to find a way to get in and away from the spray. The birds that got the gooey substance on them flew away trying desperately to get it off of themselves. I shuttered at the sounds the door was making as bird after bird slammed against it.

Eventually Mike got all the birds and nearly every surface of the backyard sprayed. He pulled off the bee's mask off and waved at me and thumbed me up. He was so going to tell the guys at the Preservation Center about the crazy chick with a thousand birds in her backyard. I on the other hand was thinking of ways to tell Ryan that his backyard was ruined.

I opened the door for Mike and stood aside to let him in, "Don't worry about the goo," he said walking over to the front door, "it dries up without leaving damage. All you have to do is wait for it and then scoop it up and throw it away."

I breathed in deeply and thanked who ever was upstairs looking after me that I wouldn't have to get Ryan a brand new backyard. I paid for Mike's services and shut the door behind him. I walked over to the sliding glass door and looked into the gooey backyard.

There was a single lonesome bird on the fence that was staring back at me with it's beady eyes. I glared at it hard for a minute before it shook it's body and expanded it's wings. It flew away into the sky. I grinned and noted that the scoreboard was Emma 1, Creepy Crows 0.

* * *

><p><strong>*1: Murder of crows simply means a large gathering of birds. Usually just a group not referring to size but generally associated with a large amount.<strong>

***2: Webinar's are video or phone conferences held by a group or society of experts in a field such as the Paranormal. They interact and teach through online devices such as chats.**


	15. The Dream Part 2

****Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any references to Paranormal State nor do I claim to have extensive knowledge of the Paranormal. I also do not claim that anything I say about Mr. Ryan Daniel Buell is true. I am only the owner of the plot. So...that's it :)****

* * *

><p><strong>Emma<strong>

I was looking for an elderly woman in a wheel chair or a woman with a stewardess helping her along off the plane. What I found however was Lorraine pushing a huge suit case like it was a feather. I sprinted over and pushed past people taking their goddamn sweet time. I had nearly tailgated the bird guy out of my drive way because I had been running late to pick Lorraine up. After the last and final encounter with the birds I had realized something. Whatever this was following me around needed to go. Now. If Ryan believed Lorraine would help then, gosh darnit I would listen with an open mind.

Lorraine saw me and smiled before I could even introduce myself. "Emma?" she asked as she extended her hand over to me.

I shook it and she pulled me in with a strength I had no idea she had for a kiss on the cheek, "Pleasure to meet you Ms. Warren."

"Nonsense Emma, call me Lorraine," she smiled again and I had the feeling she was trying to prod me. As weird as that sounded I felt like she was trying to read my mind, "here sweetheart, help an old lady out." She handed me the handle of her suitcase and I took it. While we made our way to my car we made small talk. About her flight, the weather, her arthritis acting up.

I helped her into the car and I loaded her suitcase into my trunk. I still had an uneasy feeling about all of this, even with my open mind. I wanted to like her, I really did. I breathed in deeply, shut my trunk and got my ass into the drivers seat.

"I made chicken with vegetables is that alright? We could stop on our way home somewhere if you'd like anything else," I offered.

She looked at me and smiled, "You call it home," she said and I smiled. "Chicken and vegetables sounds delicious."

The ride back was spent in more small talk about her work and research. I got an ear full about a new book she was writing, which she was considering picking Ryan's brain about. I found myself being genuinely excited. When I had talked to Michelle to plan her stay she warned me about Lorraine's extra sensibility. She was a self proclaimed clairvoyant and medium. She said I'd feel much like I had felt with her except that her 'extra' abilities would at times seem counterproductive with my own. I told her she was ape shit crazy and that I had no abilities.

"_What abilities? The ability to fall on my ass and make a fool out of myself in a crowded room?" I asked sarcastically. Michelle laughed and muttered something that sounded like 'all the time.'_

_She cleared her throat and became serious suddenly, "No I mean you have this extra sense, I believe. Like the ability to know something is going to happen before it does."_

"_Premonition!" I shouted into the phone, "like seeing the future? Michelle it's called deductive reasoning. I'm a logical person, why do you think I've made it this far?"_

"_You've made it this far because something is protecting you," she sounded like she had just said something she wasn't supposed too, "you know, maybe. In my opinion no one survives this long without being permanently injured or scarred."_

"_You don't think I've been injured or scarred?" I asked. I wasn't a whiner by any means and I wasn't about to ask for pity but I had been through hell and back and it felt like she was downplaying my situation._

"_You're a strong girl Emma," Michelle said sighing, "you're not broken yet. This thing, I get the feeling like it's just getting started." We were quite on the phone for a moment. I was thinking about everything she had said and trying to absorb it._

"_What did you mean by me being protected," the first thing that popped into my head was Ryan. It had been relatively uneventful around here since the explosion and it had been nearly 3 weeks. The second thing that popped into my head was something along the lines of a guardian angel. I tried to remember the last time I had felt safe. In Ryan's arms as he held me on the street curb._

"_A force, a deity, someone. I'm not sure Emma. I just know there's a reason you haven't died."_

I helped Lorraine out of the car and got her suitcase. I put it in my room and went to drop off my purse in Ryan's room. I would be using it while Lorraine and Michelle stayed because I didn't want to have a view of the back yard or strain my back on the couch. Besides Xander had claimed it and the recliner and I didn't want to break his little puppy heart by making him sleep on the ground.

"Would you like to eat dinner now Lorraine?" I asked while she freshened up in my room. She was looking at my pictures that sat on my vanity. She held up one and by the frame I could tell she was looking at the one of Eric and I. She was smiling warmly and I wondered if she was doing her thing. Trying to connect the object to a memory of mine or an event.

"I can feel the happiness and the hurt," she looked up at me and met my eyes. Again I got the feeling like was trying to see inside my head. "He would never hate you sweetheart, you should talk to him."

It was like the air was knocked out of my lungs. I felt tears rimming my eyes and I had to look away. When I looked back up Lorraine surprised me by standing in front of me. Her eyes matched mine in the sense that they held sadness and longing.

"Many people I've met wish they could talk to members of their families or close friends that have passed to say they're sorry. Or to tell them that they loved them up until the very end. They rarely get the chance unless they're very lucky. Emma, you have to forgive yourself and make the effort to face your fears before it's too late."

"Is something going to happen?" I asked desperately.

"I'm not sure sweetheart," she took my hands and squeezed them lightly, "but if I were you I wouldn't wait to find out and see."

I stood still for a moment absorbing her words and trying to make sense of them in my head. If I never saw Eric again I would be fine. I'd miss him terribly but I would be fine. But then I knew that many years from now if I ran into him I would apologize. I never considered doing it now. I had apologized to Katie hadn't I? Why couldn't I apologize to my best friend? I knew I had to start thinking about the kiss, I knew I had to see him but…

"Let's eat," I said and I saw a flash of disappointment fly across her face. We ate in silence and when I pulled out desert; an apple pie that I had made using a recipe book that Ryan kept, we began to talk about what she would do. She wanted to see what she could get off of me by using her sensitivity and physic abilities. She said she had started to looking inside of me (her exact words) since the moment she saw me in the airport. She said she would also try an experiment where she would have me lay on the floor and try to mediate. I would eventually fall asleep and she would see into my dreams to try and extract information. I had never even imagine that to be possible except in movies like Inception.

"The last years of Ed's life we explored it and practiced it," she explained. "I would hold his hand and fall asleep next to him. He was an expert lucid dreamer so his dreams felt very real. I would use my gift to connect with him. Usually we would use it to determine something or the other about his medical problems. Other times he would dream us young again. He was very romantic."

I sighed and found myself picturing those dreams. I was the furthest thing from a hopeless romantic but it must have been Lorraine's influence. When we finished eating we headed into the living room. I sat on the wooden table in the middle of the couches while Lorraine sat in front of me. It was better this way so that we could be facing each other.

She grabbed my hands gently in hers, barely touching mine and closed her eyes. She evened out her breathing while I just sat there. I didn't know what I should think about so I just thought about Miami and Michelle visiting. When we had talked on the phone she had tried to persuade me into going to the haunted tour for Halloween. It was in LA and then they had the day off in San Francisco. I told her that it felt a little too close to home and that I was already taking enough time off of work even though I had just started. Not that my boss minded all that much. As long as I got it done it didn't matter if I sat in the office or at home.

I thought about Connor and his new girlfriend that I had seen him snogging outside of the building. She was ridiculously beautiful and fit. She made me feel very chubby all of a sudden and I had taken to jogging after coming home from work. As if I wasn't already overworking myself. I knew I had to stay healthy especially after being reminded how out of shape I was in the hospital. I knew I wasn't a lost cause but the little sag of my breast reminded me that I was a growing girl who would eventually be a grandma and I wanted to be the attractive grandma. I had told Michelle about my insecurities and she surprised me by telling me that Ryan had talked to her about my drunken criminal activities.

She said he didn't I sagged at all. I smiled at myself when I remembered the little back flip my lady parts had done. I'm so glad I hadn't gone braless that day. My thoughts went into thinking about Ryan. We hadn't spoken all that much aside from texts and a good morning phone call the day after he had left.

He wanted to make sure I hadn't burned the place down already and that he would be too busy to call. He texted me very sporadically telling me that he missed me and that he was hating being on the damn bus. He was loving meeting his fans and showing the American Ghost Hunter. They were still promoting the movie aside from other things.

I knew I had no place to feel the way I did but I worried about him. I never told him but I knew that he overworked way too much. He managed PRS, the tours, produced the movie, wrote, gave speeches and webinars. He trained interns and dealt with media. Then he would come home and listen to me talk for hours about nothing. I knew he needed an escape and I was considering sending him on a vacation to North Carolina with his family or give him a spa day. God knew the guy needed it. Or I could give him the vacation, the spa, and the camera. I'd be broke as hell but I owed him.

"Can you try remembering the night of the explosion," Lorraine asked suddenly. She hadn't opened her eyes or moved at all. I nodded my head even though she couldn't see me.

I remembered coming home and feeling anxious. I knew Ryan had called me many times but I hadn't answered. I wasn't sure how I felt about him helping me anymore. I was having doubts that he would be able to help at all. I knew he was capable but I didn't want to endanger him or inconvenience him. I parked my car in the driveway and looked at my neighbors window to see if they were home. All I saw was a shadowy figure behind the drapes. I recognized the bowler hat and my scream got lodged in my throat. I picked my phone out of my coat and dialed Ryan's number so fast I didn't even remember how I had done it.

"Ryan…" I whispered into the phone afraid to be too loud, "Ryan he's here, right now..."

I could hear him walking and as soon as he had realized what I was talking about, I heard him pick up his pace. "Where are you Emma?" he asked.

"Right in front of my house," I said reaching for the handle of the door ready to open it and Speedy Gonzales my way to my front door.

He told me to go inside my house and that he was coming. He hung up and as soon as he did I opened my door and sprinted to my front door. My hands shook as I tried to get it open and when I finally did I ran inside, slammed the front door shut and locked it. I backed up slowly into my living room and faced the window. There were two things I noticed immediately. The shadow on the other side of my shades and the smell inside the house.

I knew immediately that there was a gas leak and that if I stayed too long inside I would suffocate and most likely die. It was either die in here or die outside and I wasn't sure which one I was more comfortable with. I turned around and ran to my room taking my coat off in the process. I was already light headed and I knew I didn't have much time. I saw my sheets and pulled off the thinnest layer and ran it to the bathroom. I put some fabric under the faucet and soaked it.

I put it up to my face and inhaled. The sheets smelled like gas but the water helped. I stumbled into my room and sat on the floor not able to find the strength in me to make it to the bed. I remembered thinking that it was the least painful way to die. If the thief had stabbed me I would probably had bled to death slowly.

The next thing I remembered was feeling someone above me. I couldn't see a figure or a silhouette. My sight was going too dark. I felt as someone touched my chest and air filled my lungs for a moment. Then the explosion and being knocked into my dresser. A few things fell on me and before I knew it, I was out. When next I opened my eyes I was in Ryan's arms and he was calling me Darling. I had to be in heaven but I hurt so much. I couldn't get air into my lungs or see clearly.

"That's okay," Lorraine said letting go of my hands, "lay down for me Emma." I snapped back into reality and pushed the table aside to make room for both of us. I helped her kneel and lay down before I laid down next to her. To say this was awkward was a huge understatement yet Lorraine looked like she did this all the time which I supposed she used too.

"I'll need you to fall asleep. It doesn't matter how long it takes as long as we don't stop holding hands," she said looking over at me.

"I think I can manage that," I said stifling a yawn. I was long overdo for a nap anyway. "I have to warn you though, I often have nightmares."

"Are they about your problem," she asked already knowing the answer. I nodded and so did she, "that's perfect then."

I breathed in deeply and closed my eyes. It took me a couple minutes because the floor was uncomfortable but soon I was asleep. It was the oddest sensation. I had tried years ago to lucid dream and I had never gotten this close. I knew it must have been Lorraine's influence though. Usually I would be able to wake myself up from a nightmare but Lorraine's wouldn't allow me to wake up. I knew it was more than her telling me not too. She had influence over me and I knew what Michelle had talked about now. I was being subjected to her sensibility. She was feeding off of mine and controlling me to stay asleep. I wasn't sure if I could fight her off because I felt so weak throughout the whole dream.

I knew the moment I started panicking that I was getting some of my strength back. I knew that if I tried to kick I would be able too. If I could get to Xander, I'd be able to stand up, if I wanted the birds to stop pecking I could stop them but I didn't. I trusted her. I had to see this for myself too.

I understood that whatever was holding Xander back was protecting him from being hurt by the crows. That whatever was trying to cave the house in was trying to protect me. I just had to let it. I just had to trust it. Lorraine plead with me to wake up. I could still feel her presence even though she wasn't there. I wondered if she could still see it all happening. What if I never woke up?

"It's okay," someone said. A voice I didn't recognize. It wasn't as deep as Ryan's but it was close. I looked around and I saw an African American man standing by the door next to the kitchen. Half the roof was caved in around him and the door was coming off it's hinges. The house kept moving and Xander kept barking. He was wearing a bowlers hat and a black suit. "You're safe," he said and I felt my eyes tear up. I screamed one final time and my lungs opened up to breathe in real air.

No drywall in my lungs or Xander barking. He was barking just not desperately like he had in my dream. I rolled over to one side and coughed like I had a damn disease. I could feel Lorraine's eyes on me and Xander moving around us. I couldn't decide if I wanted to be mad or relieved. I just had discovered so much and I wanted to talk to Michelle or Ryan.

"Emma-" Lorraine started and I put my hand up to stop her from saying anything else.

"No," I said my voice hoarse, "I need a minute….Xander stop," I looked at him and he sat down with his head between his paws. I felt bad so I scooted over to him to hugged him. I felt infinitely better when he wagged his tail and looked up at me like he was smiling. He was panting hard and so was I. My stomach felt like it was going to fall out of my ass and I thought I was going to puke my heart out of my throat. There was a pounding in my head that I didn't think aspirin would cure. At the same time my dream flashed through my mind, specifically the last part.

Had I been wrong all along? Had the dark shadowy figure tried to warn me? I remembered being with Ryan at the coffee shop all those weeks ago, "_I thought the man was some kind of omen." I tried not to roll my eyes, "I mean, it's a kinda shitty omen if you ask me."_

_Ryan smirked slightly at my cursing, "care to explain?"_

"_Hmm," I sighed, "if this thing, whatever it is, really wants me dead that desperately it probably shouldn't keep showing up every time I'm about to die. It gives it away a bit."_

"_Something was protecting me," I said out loud and looked up to see Lorraine nodding, "you saw it?" She nodded again and scooted over to hold my hand like a dotting grandmother._

"_Now the question is why," she said. I looked around me and into the backyard. The crows were gone and left instead of them was the gunk the bird man had sprayed. From my spot on the floor I could tell it had hardened already. I remembered their beady eyes staring at me like they wanted to eat me. I looked down at myself and I could still feel the tingly sensations where they had pecked me. I heard the bird man in my head telling me that I should never deal with the crows unprotected._

_I wasn't unprotected, I just hadn't known I was being watched over._


	16. The Picture

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ryan Buell in anyway. I do not claim to have extensive knowledge of the paranormal. This story is post PS and I also do not claim to pass this off as Ryan Buell's actual life.**

* * *

><p>I pulled my chair from behind the shade of the porch and adjusted my bikini. I put on my sunglasses and relaxed into the chair just as Michelle came outside with her sweet tea and big black beach hat. She sat in the shade and grabbed her book just as I closed my eyes.<p>

I thought back to the last day and a half just as I had at every spare moment between then and now. I remembered remaining on the living room floor with Xander by my side just mulling over the dream and what I had seen. I still couldn't believe it or really wrap my head around the man in my dreams. It still kinda blew my mind that I had been wrong.

When I really really thought about it though it made sense. And that was if I was trying really hard to think about it. I was sensible to the energy of others. That was something that I had come to accept in the last 32 hours. I knew that Michelle was calm and a bit awkward at the moment. I knew that Ryan harbored some type of feeling towards me, whether friendly or more than that I wasn't sure. I just knew he felt very strongly about me and that bothered him. I knew these things. I just did.

I also knew that I had found it odd the first time I had seen the shadow under the light and I still couldn't see a face. I hadn't felt scared or threatened. I just knew it wasn't right and I didn't want to be there. My fear came when I saw the man with the knife. The night of the explosion had been different. I hadn't felt evil or mischief coming from anywhere. If anything I had felt I needed to be safe, I knew something bad was GOING to happen not that it was already happening. But of course that could have been deductive reason since I knew something was coming. I just never felt something change when I saw the figure. I always felt it afterwards.

"Michelle," I asked looking over at her. She was reading quietly in her lighter clothes. Still black but the sun had caught us off guard. The past month had been terribly autumn around here and it had been ages since I had seen the sun. I was surprised to realize that I missed it. Michelle looked up and I took it as a queue to ask her something, "are you sure you didn't feel anything the moment you saw him the day we almost crashed?"

"I'm sure," she said for the thousandth time that day, "I didn't feel anything until after we saw the car. It was more than being scared that it would hit us. It was like…like being terrified because I knew that I couldn't do anything to stop it from harming us."

I sat up a little straighter in my chair and moved my glasses up to my head, "But you did move out of the way, you saved us."

Michelle smiled, "Because I know energy, I've studied it and practiced it since a very early stage. Emma I knew those feelings weren't mine. I blocked them out. Consciously or not I did and I moved us out of the way."

I sat back again for a while as I stayed deep in thought. Michelle went back to reading and she remained calm but a bit of awkwardness still surrounded her. She had been that way since I picked her up from the airport after dropping Lorraine off. I had stopped myself from asking her about it but the dream had left me weak. I was more sensible now than ever before. It bugged me and irritated me not to know why she felt that way. Had I done something? Did she not want to be here? I had busted my ass at work to set up for Lorraine and so that I could spend four fucking fantastic days with Michelle but it seemed that all I was getting was dream harassment and a below par fantastic day.

"What's wrong?" Michelle asked becoming aware of the change in my mood. We had gotten good at doing this when I lived with her. She knew the back of my palm better than I did.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that," I asked trying to watch my tone but not helping a bit of bitchiness to show.

"She really did a number on you didn't she?" Michelle asked. I wanted her to sound catty or mean but all I heard behind her words was concern. I wanted to let out the frustrations of the last couple of days out on her and to find out why she felt so awkward. "Relax Emma, she did us all a favor. Now we know what that thing was."

"No we don't," I said sitting up, "we know it's some kind of protector, we know he's African American and he wears a fucken bowlers hat. What is this? A freaken 60's sitcom about a friendly ghost?" Michelle rolled her eyes and that just got me going again, "we don't know what it's protecting me from or what I did to deserve this. I don't know if Katie's spirit is involved or what this means for me the next time something terrible happens. "

I stood up and I could feel myself shaking. I wanted this to be over. Now. I was done. I didn't care if I got hurt or if I died but it wouldn't matter because anything was better than behind left alone in the dark. Michelle wasn't helping, I couldn't call Ryan. Lorraine had left me with more questions than answers. I had bird goo on my nice jeans and I was actually whiter than I had ever been in my life. I would look like a turkey in Miami.

"I just want to be tan!" I blurted out as I ran into the house leaving a shocked Michelle sitting on the porch alone. I ran into Ryan's room which I was still sleeping in and dived into the bed after locking the door.

**Ryan**

"Hello?" I said and cleared my throat almost immediately after hearing how raspy it sounded, "hello?" I said again normally.

"Did I wake you?" Michelle asked from the other side of the line. I hadn't expected a call from her, especially not at 6 in the morning. I grumbled some response as I got out of my bunk of the still moving bus. Everyone was asleep it seemed so I walked to the main area of the bus right behind the driver and checked the windows to see where we were. We were scheduled to be in Seattle sometime today. We would have a three day break afterwards and then we'd fly out to Miami for the tour there. Then the week after that would be Halloween and we'd be back in the West Coast.

"Ryan I have to talk to you about Emma," that woke me up, "the whole Lorraine thing left her really sensitive and I think she felt my awkwardness. It got her really mad for some reason and she stormed into your room. I don't know what to do, I'm normally the one who needs help adjusting to others you know?"

"Did you tell her about me?" I asked panicking, "does she suspect that I may have you know…?"

"Well she's not stupid Ryan," she whispered. I heard the sliding doors open and then shut, she must have been moving around the house. "She's almost right up there with me, I think she knows how you feel about her. Or at least she has an idea."

I groaned and sat on the couch. I rubbed my temples with my thumb and forefinger and tried to think.

"She likes tea," I suggested, "you could make her one. A peace offering," I heard her groan this time and then I heard another door open.

"She has a pot of coffee brewing," she said into the line, "I thought she had stopped drinking coffee?"

"She had," god I couldn't wait to see her again. I just wanted to hold her and sit on the couch to watch a bad reality tv show like we used too.

"You should just tell her Ryan," Michelle suggested, "it'll be easier on both of you. Stop pretending you only want to be friends with her." I leaned back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling of the bus. I knew she was right but I just couldn't give it all. "Remember those dreams you used to have?" Michelle said as I closed my eyes and remembered the one she had woken me up from not even 10 minutes ago.

"Used to have?" I said sarcastically, "and yes I remember. I know what you're going to say, they mean something. We're meant to be or some romantic bull like that. I didn't peg you as the romantic kind Michelle." I instantly regretted telling her about them. I knew I wanted to confined in someone about how I was feeling especially after the almost kiss a couple days ago.

"I'm not," she said feigning hurt in her words, "but I believe in signs or at least hints. Take a hint Ryan.."

"Maybe," I said standing up, "listen I have to get ready for the day, if anything else happens text me or call me."

Michelle sighed and hung up the phone. I know I was being an ass but I wouldn't go off of some dreams I had. I liked Emma, a lot. I had allowed her to live with me but I valued my inner privacy. I wasn't sure if I was ready to allow someone in. Especially not someone with so much baggage. That was IF she even felt something for me.

**Emma**

When I woke up from my post rage nap I realized two things. I was in Ryan's bed and I was wearing my bikini, only my bikini. I had felt too vulnerable to sleep alone after the dream so I had shacked up with Xander on the couch. I needed company even if it was of the canine kind. I was avoiding thinking how this was my first time in his bed, under his covers, 90% naked.

I'd forgotten that all I was wearing was my bikini after shouting at Michelle. I didn't bother to look around me after locking the door and diving into the bed. I hadn't cared if it was my room or his. I turned around on my back and looked at the room. I had been in there plenty of times but never from this point. Ryan had a fair size room with normal things on his dresser and night stands. Nothing screamed psycho or potential serial killer. More importantly though, his bed was ridiculously comfortable.

I wondered how mad he would be if he found out I was sleeping in his room. I knew I should have asked but it had been so crazy around lately that I had simply forgotten too.

My phone buzzing on the nightstand woke me up from my musings, "Speaking of the devil," I said when I noticed the caller id, "hello Ryan."

"Hey Jenny," he said in that awesome Forest Gump accent that made me laugh, "what are you doing cooped up in my room?" he asked. I realized Michelle must have told him. I would have to go out and apologize to her about my rude behavior earlier and I only hoped she would understand.

"I'm not doing anything I swear," I didn't want him to be mad even though he didn't sound like he was, "I just took a nap, nothing crazy."

I heard him groan and then cough like he was trying to cover something up, "That's fine, there's just a couple rules you have to follow when in my room."

"Okay," I said sitting up slowly, "what are they?"

"Number one; no food," that was logical, "Number two; no men," I giggled at that, "and number three; one must always be naked on my bed, sorry Jenny rules are rules."

I laughed again and this time he joined in with me, "One does not simply end up naked in Ryan Buell's bed," I teased.

This time he didn't bother covering up his half groan half moan which only made me giggle more, "Don't mess with me woman, Lord of the Rings and the possibility that you might be naked in my bed. Not good."

"Well I'm not naked per sey," I said getting up and looking for clothes to put on, "I'm wearing a bikini."

"The white one with the halter?" He asked and I stopped mid way through putting my pants on.

"How do you know what bikini I'm wearing?" I asked nervously looking around for cameras.

"I helped you unpack remember?" He said laughing from the other line, "I have exceptional memory when it comes to lingerie and swim wear."

"Perv," I said putting my pants on all the way and searching for a shirt. I couldn't find one what with my limited supply in this room and Ryan's stuff scattered all around. I saw one of his button ups and put it on, "I'm borrowing one of your shirts, I hope you don't mind."

"You're going to kill me," he said and I smirked evilly, "wear whatever you want and then send me a picture." I got a crazy idea just then.

We small talked for a bit before finally hanging up. I took my pants off and unbuttoned the shirt to show a lot of cleavage. I sat on his bed making sure to have his Lord of the Rings poster directly behind me. I snapped the picture and sent it to him. While I waited for his reply I put my pants back on and buttoned on his shirt to be decent in front of Michelle.

Right as I was opening the door to his room I felt my phone vibrate with an incoming text. _I can't wait to see you _was all it said and I couldn't help but agree with him.


	17. Miami

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ryan Buell or anyone else from the Paranormal Research Society. This story is post PS and I don't claim to pass this story off as Ryan Buell's personal life.**

* * *

><p>"So you're not mad at me?" I asked for the billionth time since apologizing to Michelle three days ago. I had come out of Ryan's room a bit flustered about the picture and then the text that he had sent only to find Michelle waiting for me in the kitchen. I had to regroup and calm myself before going to speak with her. She understood that I was new to this sensitivity and that it would only get worse if I let it control me like I had.<p>

After assuring me multiple times that she had never been mad at me she suggested we prepare me for a three hour flight, lay over, and Miami. I had the shock of a lifetime when I broke down in the grocery store because the energy was so strong. I calmed down in the parking lot and went back inside only to stay another five minutes. I was surprisingly mad at Lorraine for putting me through the dream and at myself for agreeing so carelessly. But it had been necessary. The pain and the intrusion had shun a light on possibilities that at least for me, had been non existent.

I wasn't sure if I could even go back to work or if I could travel. That was until Michelle taught me a technique that I had found ridiculous at first. It involved picturing a giant impenetrable bubble surrounding me. As crazy as it sounded it had worked. I had read her books before meeting her and she had mentioned that a friend who was much like us but way better at keeping energy at bay, had taught her this. I thought it had been bull when I read it but now it was my saving grace.

I remembered to keep it in the back of my mind as we entered the airport. I had gotten better at being around larger crowds now. I was proud of myself for practicing as much as the last three days had allowed and keeping my cool, except for the grocery incident.

"Stop being stupid, I'm not mad at you," she said rolling her bag in front of her and sitting down next to me. We both had flights out of the same airport. Hers to Ohio and mine to Miami. I called into work to ask about take home manuscripts and my boss had agreed. He suggested I do more work from home which had hurt my feelings at first but then I heard the word 'on-site'. He wanted me to recruit bloggers and convince them to write books for the company or start writing articles for the online site. We were trying to expand and I was all for it. Especially now with the new sensitivity, I didn't want anything to do with people unless I had a choice.

"I'm nervous," I confessed when I realized that I was about to go meet with Ryan's crew and fans. Girls fangirling hard for him. Girls who were constantly excited and nervous themselves and in Miami of all places. One of the most touristy sites on the East Coast. I reminded myself that it was nearly mid October and that there weren't many tourists out but I would still have to deal with the fans.

"It'll be fine, Ryan will be there," Michelle said, "just remember your bubble and you'll be fine. I've never seen anyone pick it up so fast or keep it together so strongly."

"I'm nervous about him too," and at that she raised her eyebrows and gave me her full attention. I just knew Ryan had feelings for me and I wasn't sure if I was where he was. He wasn't just my friend, we lived together. There are certain things you just don't do with roommates. I had sent him the picture, sure. I had flirted with him before and after it, okay. But I had never seen him as more than my protector. A sort of guardian angel. I knew I loved him as a friend and I didn't want him to think I was toying with him.

At this point in my life; in my situation, I didn't want or need a serious relationship. I had the feeling that he didn't either until he had shown jealousy when Connor and I had texted. I knew I was stepping over some invisible line with him and I needed to make sure that we were on the same track.

"Don't be," Michelle said grabbing my hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze, "Communication isn't just for romantic relationships, it's for friendships as well." We had talked lightly about the possibility of what could happen on this trip. It wasn't like anything serious had happened with Ryan and I but I had gotten an almost kiss flashback from my drunken night. I had leaned in at the same time that he had. I had wanted to kiss him the morning after. I knew I had been drunk but a part of me had wanted him. I didn't know how serious that part of me was. She didn't think about consequences or feelings. She just wanted.

"I'll talk to him," I said smiling when I heard my flight being announced. I hugged Michelle goodbye and wished her a safe flight home. We would see each other soon but for the moment she had taught me all she knew and she had given me great advice on Ryan.

**Ryan**

I saw her before she saw me but I didn't call out to her. I let her look around for a bit trying to find her suitcase on the conveyor belt. She leaned in to grab it when she found it and stumbled backwards when she pushed the weight of it on herself. She caught herself and laughed at her clumsiness. I walked up behind her while she checked that her lock was still on her bag and put my hands over her eyes.

"Guess who?" I asked and almost immediately afterwards I was tackled by Emma as she turned around and screamed bloody murder at seeing me. She jumped into my arms and my only instinct was to spin her around. We were getting stares but I was fine with it as long as she never moved out of the embrace I had her in.

She set her feet back on the ground but I refused to let go, "I missed you so much!" she said and hugged me again, lightly this time. God I had missed this. Her presence, her quirkiness, everything. I let her go reluctantly and grabbed her suitcase.

"I missed you too Jenny," I said putting an arm around her. I wasn't ready to let go of her completely, "how was everything, is the house still standing?"

"Barely," she said grabbing my hand and intertwining her fingers between my own, "and I'll tell you everything when we have free time."

When we made it outside of the airport where Chad, Sergey, and the driver were waiting for us, Emma stopped, gasping and shutting her eyes not only to the sun but I knew from Michelle that she was trying to protect herself from the energy. If I hadn't seen that look on Michelle plenty of times before I would have panicked. I took her into my arms again while she tried to concentrate on her bubble.

"There's a lot of people," she said breathless, "I was so excited to see you that I dropped my defenses. I'm sorry," she apologized and I shook my head in disbelief. Here she was four days after being attacked in her dream which left her extremely vulnerable and she was apologizing to me. I knew about the accident from Lorraine and I knew about the energy from Michelle. I was just waiting for Emma to talk to me about it. I didn't want to take it personally but I couldn't help her if she didn't open up to me.

"Don't apologize. Just try to find your center and imagine that bubble okay," I was going to help her whichever way she allowed me too, even if I had to pretend I didn't know anything.

After a few moments Emma looked up at me and smiled, she was okay now. I hugged her one last time and took her bag. I walked us hand in hand to the car where the guys had watched almost mesmerized. I introduced Emma and Chad and despite having had a mini meltdown seconds before, they hit it off. Their personalities were so much alike that they got along like old friends.

We were driven to our hotel where we were showing the movie and where we investigating as well. I specifically chose this hotel because it was right next to the beach and because the activity was so harmless that the crew and I could relax. The whole ride to our destination, Emma had spent by my side. She was being welcoming so we never had our own conversation. She talked to the guys and caught up with Sergey. I only watched and enjoyed her presence. For someone who had seen so much in the last few days, she was keeping it together.

I admired that. There were days in my past that I wish I could go back to and slap myself in the face. Tell myself to calm down and enjoy the moment just like Emma was doing.

I could tell she was going to enjoy herself. I was already having fun and we were only just getting started. When we arrived at the hotel I helped her roll her stuff to our room. I had tried in vain to tell everyone that we were just friends when I booked a room for just us too. I knew that I missed her like hell and I wanted to spend time with her. I also knew that she didn't know the crew that well and that she may feel awkward sharing a room with someone she had only spoken with once.

I opened our door and turned around to see a surprise look on her face. She was staring at my stuff that I had put in a corner. "We're sharing?" she asked trying to sound causal but I could hear the panic.

"I thought it would be better for you," I put her suitcase on top of the bed and stepped aside, "I'll let you get ready, we're going to the beach in a few." I walked over to her and hugged her tight again, this time letting it all soak in. She was here, safe and sound. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," she looked up at me and smiled, "who would have known." I looked at her confused but I didn't let her go. "I never imagined being here with you and PRS. I didn't think I could be this happy two months ago and you made it happen."

I grinned feeling quite proud of myself.

"Now go away, I have to get naked," I groaned and buried my face near her neck. She laughed and pushed me aside and towards the door.

"Hey," I called back to her remembering something. She looked over her shoulder at me, "wear the white one, I want to see what it looks like in person."

She laughed and threw a shoe at me from out of no where but it hit the door that was already shutting behind me.

**Later**

"Ohhhhhhhhhh I needed this," Emma said laying down next to me in the sand even though she was soaking wet. I had decided to stay behind and watch as my friends and Emma went swimming. They were all getting along like long lost friends.

"Having fun?" I propped myself up on my elbow and looked at Emma who was trying to catch her breath. I was content with staying behind and getting myself a tan. I was in desperate need of one anyway. Besides, if staying behind meant being able to see Emma run around in my favorite bikini of hers, I was fine.

She turned to look at me with a genuine smile that took my breath away. She nodded as she turned around on her stomach next to me. The motion brought us impossibly closer and I got a great view of her backside.

"You're getting darker," she pointed out by poking my arm and watching as my skin went from white to a nice healthy brown. I flexed my arm which made her laugh uncontrollably.

"Are you laughing at my manly muscles?" I feigned hurt when she nodded. I stood up and then bent down to pick her up. She trashed around in my arms trying to get away but I grabbed her from the legs and threw her over my shoulder. She was laughing and screaming all the way to the waters edge where I walked deeper and deeper until I could throw her off. I dived in after her and together we swam out further into the ocean.

**Emma**

"Today was great," I said sitting on the bed next to Ryan who was laying on his back and looking at the ceiling, "thank you Ryan. You've done so much for me."

"Don't mention it," he grabbed my hand from where it was supporting me and pulled at it so that I fell back on the bed with him. I curled up into his side and thought about the last couple hours. It was like as soon as I stepped off the plane, the people we were around each other was completely different to the people we had been in Pennsylvania.

We were touching and flirting more. The surprising thing was, it was effortless. It terrified me to think how simple and easy it was to be this close to Ryan. But for once in my life I pushed that part of me away. I wanted to enjoy this. It was nothing serious, it couldn't be anything serious. Did I understand it? Hell no I didn't. Did I want to? Maybe not.

"Hey," Ryan said out of no where, "there's something I have to tell you." I put my hand on his chest and supported myself upwards to look at him. "Lorraine told me about the dream…" I bit my lip in frustration and laid back down on my side next to him. I didn't take my hand off his chest and I couldn't stop thinking about how good it felt leaving it there.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you as soon as it happened," I said honestly. I thought I could tell him on my own terms but it was foolish to think anything could go my way for once.

"Well we can talk about it now," he suggested but I was shaking my head before he was even finished, "or not."

"I'm on vacation and you're working tomorrow, lets not ruin Miami." I hitched my leg over his waist and perched myself on top of him before he even knew what was happening. I decided I was going to stop thinking and just do. Perhaps I should have started with a chaste kiss or continued flirting but I hadn't seen this wonderful wonderful man in two weeks and I was dying to be as close as possible.

I leaned down over him and brought our faces and lips as close as they could be without touching. I could feel his breath and I swear I could probably hear his heart beat as well. My hands dug at his shirt while I steadied myself over him to bring my lips and his together.

We were slow and careful. There was no need to hurry and if I was being honest with myself I wanted it to last as long as possible. One of his hands snaked up my side and the other went behind my head at the nape of my neck bringing me even closer to him.

It felt like our lips belonged together. They moved smoothly and slowly against each other. We were savoring each second.

Eventually I separated myself from him. He licked his lips and I realized he was probably tasting me still on him. My lips were swollen, I was breathing quickly, and I was pressing up against a part of Ryan that I had no intention of going near any time soon.

"Wow," I whispered.

"Wow indeed," he said smiling. He pulled me back down and this time our kissing was more passionate and hurried. He separated my lips with his tongue and I couldn't help but moan. He smiled through our kiss which in turn made me smile as well. God this man could kiss.

A knock on the door separated us abruptly. On the other side of the door we heard Chad yelling that we were late for dinner. Ryan yelled back a quick response while I hid my face on his chest. When Chad was gone I peaked up and found Ryan looking down at me with a smug smile on his face.

"I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to do that," he said.

I felt myself blush and I could practically hear my heart quicken. "Let's not make anything serious out of this," I said desperately.

Ryan looked down at where I was still sitting on him and then back up at me. His smile was gone but a look of determination was there instead, "I agree, nothing serious. Promise."

I kissed the side of his lips gently and then I got off of him and off the bed to go get changed. Before walking into the bathroom I looked back at him and smiled. So much for talking I thought.


	18. The Beach

**Emma**

Sometime in the middle of dinner as I sat across the table from Ryan and with a mouth full of salmon; I realized what I had done. I'd made out with Ryan. On our bed, in a room we were sharing for two nights, on top of him. I almost spit out my salmon but I held it back and pretended I had eaten a little too fast. I drank from my water in the hopes of clearing out my throat and my mind. I had to be dehydrated, sick…crazy.

I caught Ryan staring at me from across the table and I wish I hadn't made eye contact. I knew I was panicking inside and a part of me just KNEW that he could see it.

Whatever happened to talking it out? I thought I wasn't _there_ yet. I didn't want to play with Ryan. Ryan smiled at me before looking away to continue a conversation he was having with Sergey and it reminded me of us back in our room just after being interrupted. He had seemed fine about not making anything 'serious' come about our kissing. Maybe this didn't have to be serious or lead to anything. It could just be fun and harmless.

I gathered myself and forced myself to finish eating. When we were all done we proceeded to the huge hotel theater where tons of fans were already waiting. It made showing the movie and gathering with the fans a lot easier. It was the perfect location to hold events like this. I also thought it was the perfect place to be romantic and sneaky. While the tech was being set up and while Ryan and the rest of the crew visited with the fans I got away for a while. I found myself sitting out in the garden where you could see the waves and night surfers. For Florida the weather was nice. Not too hot not too cold.

The sun had just settled behind the curve of the ocean so the sky was a dark blue and the stars glowed brightly. They reflected off of the water and a little fountain in the garden. I laid down on the bench and looked up at the stars. I felt so tiny and insignificant yet the fact that I was here and enjoying this moment made me feel grateful. For Ryan, for Michelle, for still being alive.

I didn't want to think about the accident or Eric but my thoughts couldn't keep from going there. I knew I had to call him and make up. I wanted to apologize and heal.

I thought about Katie and the possibility that she may have caused all of this to happen to me. I didn't want to think that she was still around or that she had somehow summoned evil upon me. I was sorry she had died. I was sorry I had kissed her boyfriend.

I breathed deeply and sat up. I was starting to realize most of my problems stemmed from getting involved with a man. I hoped, hopefully not in vain, that this time it would be different. Ryan was down to earth and successful. He wasn't some college student with his whole life ahead of him. He was a go getter. He didn't make mistakes lightly.

If I was a mistake though, I'd be his worst.

**Ryan **

I was finishing up with the last pictures and greetings when I noticed that Emma wasn't with the group anymore. We had shared a few private glances during dinner and then walked almost hand in hand to the theater room. I know that despite saying she didn't want anything serious to become of our little display of affection in the room earlier, she couldn't help make it serious.

I liked Emma, a lot. I couldn't lie about that but I didn't want a relationship. I wasn't ready to give her or anyone that. After so much work and school over the last few years I was done of serious. I wanted fun and carefree. I felt like I could get that with Emma. I just needed to know if that is what she wanted as well. To figure that out I needed to talk to her and it was going to get serious.

When everyone was seated in the theater room and the movie began showing I snuck out. I found many of my crew members sitting outside in the hall. Most of them had seen the movie plenty of times and the last thing they wanted was to watch it 101 times. I smiled at them and excused myself to go find Emma.

After a few minutes of searching I found her in the garden of the hotel. She was laying down on her back with her eyes closed and a smile on her face. I gave her a few minutes to herself and just watched. I realized that this is exactly what I wanted. Her enjoying herself was making me feel better already. Was that selfish? Possibly but I didn't really care.

I walked up behind her and smiled when she turned around. "Hey, do you mind if I take a seat?"

She shook her head and scooted over all the way to the end. I sat down and when I did she laid her head on my lap. Her hair splayed over my legs perfectly. While I gathered my thoughts I played with it. She had her eyes closed again but I wanted to see them. I wanted to see those same beautiful green eyes that I saw everyday in my dreams.

"Emma," I started. She hummed to show she was listening but I wanted her to open her eyes. "Look at me…"

She opened them and turned her head to look at me better. "What?"

"We need to talk…about earlier," she stood up on her hands and scooted near me. She nodded so I continued, "can we agree that we don't want anything serious?"

She bit her lip and looked down at the space between us. When it seemed she had made a decision she looked back and met my eyes, "I like you but I'm not ready for a relationship."

"I'm not ready for one either," I smiled and pushed back some of the hair that was falling around her face, "I travel a lot and I'm busy all of the time."

"I'm going to be traveling too," she said and then told me about the offer her boss had made her. I was surprised it hurt to know that she wouldn't always be home when I came back from a business trip. "Besides, I doubt you want to be in a relationship with someone like me…"

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it before going back to her place on my lap. Instead of closing her eyes like before, she looked up at the sky. "I come with an unknown entity and one that is trying to protect me. I wouldn't even want to be in a relationship with me."

"That's not why-" I started to say but she squeezed my hand gently before I could finish.

"Don't lie Ryan," she looked at me with sad eyes, "I'm not naïve enough to not see the tired look on your face. You love investigating and the paranormal but this aspect of your life should not have to deal with it too."

I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything at all. I just continued to play with her hair and enjoy my time with her. Maybe she was right. Did my whole life have to revolve around the paranormal?

"Can we walk?" she asked, almost timidly as she stood up and held her hand out to me. I took it in mine and wrapped her arm behind me pulling us close.

At the edge of the hotel where concrete met sand, we took our shoes off and walked onto the sand that was still slightly warm. Emma took a moment and let her toes wiggle in it. She looked up at me smiling from ear to ear.

I bent down and gave her a peck on the lips. I was happy that I could do this now, whenever I wanted. She took my shoes and hers and set them on the ground. She grabbed both of my hands in hers and ran us to the middle of the beach. I could tell she was unbelievably happy and carefree. This is the Emma I had wanted to meet and I was finally doing it.

She ran over to the edge of the water and waited for the tide to meet her feet. The water glowed almost dramatically when it touched her skin. She kicked off of the water and sent it through the air. It was beautiful and I was captivated. I ran up to her, picked her up and spun her around. She yelped in surprise but soon she was laughing along with me.

I knew we weren't alone on the beach but I didn't care. It felt like we were the only two people in the world at the moment. She wrapped her legs around me as I stopped spinning us and took my face in her hands. With a smile lingering on her lips she bent down and captured my lips with her sweet mouth. I had never kissed anyone like her before. She was so soft yet demanding. Every time we kissed it was different and I had a feeling it would be like that as long as whatever this was lasted.

When she came up for air she smiled and unwrapped her legs from me. She wrapped her arms instead around my torso and looked off into the ocean. "I like this," she said against my chest, "it's been a while since I've felt so at peace."

"You deserve it," and I meant that, I really did.

"It's thanks to you," she glanced up at me as she spoke, "I could have died in the explosion…y-you could have left the day after we met at the coffee shop and not thought twice about me, but you didn't. I owe you so much."

I shook my head and kissed her on the forehead, "you don't owe me anything," I hugged her tighter and she returned my embrace, "I'd do it all over again, every last second of the last two months."

"Even my drunken night?" she asked, her giggle muffled by my shirt.

"Especially your drunken night," I tickled her sides and she screamed her laughter as she took off running towards the water again. I ran out to join her whole heartedly planning to catch her and take her breath away with dozens of kisses again.


	19. Three's a Company

**Ryan**

It was one in the morning and the patterns of the crowned ceiling were being engraved into my memory much like they were engraved into the corners of our room. The deep spaces of my mind were wondering why I was having such a hard time falling asleep. Normally I would feel some semblance of exhaustion by now but currently I was as awake as I could ever be. It was possible that my mind was working on the details for tomorrow's 'investigation', perhaps I was exited to share the experience with Emma or maybe I just really wanted to get into bed with the afore mentioned vixen and leave the uncomfortable five star hotel sofa.

I sat on the edge of my makeshift bed and reached for the remote control to turn our television on. I checked on Emma to see if the light bothered her but she didn't even flinch. I had hoped that her nightmares had seized but Michelle had mentioned that they had actually become worse since Lorraine's visit. Go figure. I had my hopes however, since she had slept 3 hours straight without stirring, that they would have a night off today.

About an hour into some infomercials my eyes started to shut and I was feeling the exhaustion kick in. I was about to lay back down into the couch to sleep when I heard what sounded like dishes falling to the ground somewhere in the hallway.

I figured it was someone who had dropped their dirty plates with leftovers for room service to pick up. I looked over at Emma and I noticed she had stirred slightly but not woken. I could see goose bumps on her arms so I stood up and shut the AC off. I walked over to the side of the bed and brought the comforter up to her chin. Her hand was still sticking out so I grabbed it gently to put it under the warmth of the covers but I stopped short when I saw the hand shaped bruise around her wrist. I inspected it slowly and carefully making sure not to wake her. It was definitely a hand and it had not been there when she had gone to bed. It was much too new and dark not to notice.

I somehow maneuvered her other hand out of the covers and found the same hand shape bruise there as well. Something was up and I had to find out what.

I sat on the edge of the sofa and just thought about the strangeness of the situation. Clearly I sat there thinking for far too long because the next thing I knew I was startled awake by the sounds of clattering dishes in the hallway again. I checked Emma and she was still asleep. Then I peered at the clock and it read 3 am. I stood up slowly and walked to the door to check who was making all the noise. It had definitely sounded much closer this time. I stuck my head out the door and found no dishes on the floor or anything that could have made that noise.

I heard Emma moan back in the bed and I looked back to see her stirring. I closed the door silently behind me and made my way to her. Her lips were slightly parted and I could hear her panting. I braced myself for the onslaught of screams or trashes that usually accompanied her nightmares but they never came.

"Ryan…" She whispered still asleep. She kept repeating my name in between moans and movement of her head and hands, almost like she was searching for me. I wasn't sure if I was being a complete pervert for watching her and enjoying her moan my name or if I was justified in some sick way because it was me.

Her lips parted further while her hands balled up into fists. I sat on the side of the bed unsure of what to do. Suddenly Emma gasped for air as her hands went up to her throat. She arched her back and clawed at her neck as if someone was choking her.

I grabbed her shoulders and tried shaking her awake. "Emma, wake up. Wake up!"

I heard clattering right outside our door and this time I jumped out of the bed and ran to the door. I pulled it open and walked out. Nobody was there but I could feel a presence. "What do you want? What are you?" I asked the empty hallway.

"Ryan?" I heard Emma call. I caught the door before it could close and looked once more towards the hall. Back in the room I found Emma sitting straight up on the bed with tears streaming down her face and black forming around her neck in the shape of two large hands.

"What's going on?" she asked getting out of the bed and rushing to my side. She put her arms around me and rested her head on my chest. She wasn't full out crying but she was still shaken up and breathing hard into my shirt.

I rubbed soothing circles on her back as I gathered my thoughts, "I don't know sweetheart, but we'll figure it out."

**Emma**

It was hard for me to get back to sleep but somehow I had managed it. I had been having a great dream until it was interrupted by something or someone choking me. At first I believed it to just be a nightmare until I woke up gasping for air and desperately searching for Ryan with my eyes.

I had asked him to please sleep on the bed with me. I was too shaken up to care about what a deal I'd made earlier about not sleeping on the same bed. He complied and didn't gloat like a true gentleman. I slept with his arm around me protectively and my head tucked under his chin.

I don't know why I woke up but when I did I felt like I had slept for days and yet my body felt exhausted as if someone had beaten me with their fists and feet. I turned my head to the side and saw that it was still dark out. I couldn't feel Ryan next to me on the bed and I assumed he had returned to the sofa. I checked and I did indeed find him there but he was not asleep; he was reading a stack of papers and I mentally chastised myself from keeping him away from his work. But why would he be doing that at night?

He caught me looking but it was too late to pretend to be asleep. He walked over to the bed and sat on it next to me. He looked just as tired as my body felt but I didn't comment on it.

"Go back to sleep," he pushed my hair back onto the pillow carefully, almost like he was trying to calm me down but I felt perfectly fine except for my aching body which didn't at all.

"What time is it?" I asked trying to get up but Ryan held me down and shook his head.

"You still have a few hours to sleep," he turned the clock next to the bed around and then came back into it with me. He turned me around and drew me into his body. I didn't want to say anything about him manhandling me again because it felt good to be looked after.

"I don't want to keep you away from your work," I said surprised to hear my voice sounding tired.

I heard him chuckle near my neck and it made a shiver go down my back, "I wasn't working silly, I was researching."

"Really?" I asked closing my eyes, "researching what?" I could hear my voice fading out even though I wanted to stay awake.

"I'll tell you about it when I find what I'm looking for," I nodded as I felt myself being pulled into another deep sleep.

I couldn't tell you what I dreamed about specifically but I remember being on a white beach and hearing the sounds of the ocean. I was cold and I couldn't cover myself up. I'm not sure if the sun was too bright or the sand was too white but nothing helped me feel warmer. I heard sand moving behind me and a shadow was cast down onto my form. I woke with a start in Ryan's arms still reliving my dream and shaking from the cold in the room.

My sheets were all on Ryan and I could hear the AC on. His hand was splayed across my stomach but he wasn't holding me down which was great because I needed to get out of bed and get changed. I slithered out of bed without disturbing Ryan and turned the AC down. I looked for some clothes for the day and as I walked by the sofa I caught a glimpse of the papers Ryan had been reading.

I quickly checked to see if Ryan was still passed out and when I confirmed that he was I peeked at the closest paper to me. It was mostly handwriting that I couldn't make out; both because it was in another language and because the scribbling was terrible. The few words I could make out were definitely in Italian.

I turned it over hoping to find more legible writing but instead I found a white sticker in the corner that read, _Archivio Segreto Vaticano_.(1)

"Oh dear Lord," I dropped the paper onto the stack and backed away slowly. Surely the Swiss Guard would burst in through our hotel room door any minute and arrest us.

"It's okay," Ryan said behind me making me jump and shriek at the same time. "I didn't want you to know I had those yet."

"Are you crazy?" I half whispered half yelled, "Vatican archives Ryan! What are you doing with those?" I stared to pace around the table nervously. I was avoiding getting close to the papers or to Ryan.

He stood up and came close to me even though I backed away. An annoyed looked came over his face and then he was right in front of me holding me still and tightly so that I'd avoid walking away again.

"I have a friend whose father worked closely with people who might know how to solve our problem. She provided these papers for me graciously and legally." He stressed legally which was all I needed to hear. I didn't want Stellan Skarsgard(2) shooting me down for having private property of the Pope in our possession.

"You know Italian then?" I asked suddenly realizing that there was no dictionary on the table.

He shrugged his shoulders and brought me even closer to him. "Enough to get me through that stack. My friend's father was American so he also wrote in English. The notes in the margin are in Latin though, I'll need help with those."

"I know some Latin…." I offered. I really wanted to know what those papers said especially if they helped me in some way. Besides, I would have given up my right leg to be able to read actual Vatican documents.

Ryan smirked and lowered himself until he was sitting on the sofa and placed me on his lap, "Do you?" I nodded enthusiastically and pressed myself against him, "How do you know Latin?"

"Probably for the same reason that you know Italian," I said wrapping my arms around his neck loosely. He buried his face into my neck and even though his breath tickled me, I avoid squirming because it was morning and he was already having a difficult time controlling his male urges.

"Did you also have extremely Catholic parents who put you through rigorous Catholic classes?" I nodded and giggled quietly when he nipped my ear lobe. I had no idea how he could hold a conversation and do that at the same time.

I smiled and added, "Yes and mostly I just really wanted to learn it but I only studied it for a year before switching over to Spanish and Portuguese."

"Ole," he said grinding his hips into me while I laughed, "I had too Jenny." I swatted his hands away and got up still laughing.

While in the bathroom; as I changed, I noticed small bruises here and there but none were as dark as the ones around my throat and wrists. I didn't remember much from last night except waking up after that terrible nightmare and feeling like I had fallen down a flight of stairs.

I walked out and instantly I felt like I wasn't wearing enough clothes. I wanted to cover the bruises up incase someone thought that Ryan had made them. I walked over to my set of drawers where I had put my clothes in and took out a summery scarf. I put a huge cuff around one of my wrists that hid that bruise well but I had no idea what to do with the other one. I frowned at it and I wondered if makeup would cover it up.

The whole time Ryan watched me but didn't say a thing which I appreciated. After some consealer and a few tweeks I felt satisfied that no one would notice what was underneath. I turned around and smiled brightly at Ryan who came over to me and hugged me tightly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. I knew I should have said yes but at the moment I just wanted to forget that it had happened. We had no explanations and the few theories going through my mind were too uncomfortable to say out loud.

I shook my head and looked up at him fully expecting him to be disappointed in me but instead he seemed relieved.

"Tonight," he said. He kissed me lightly on the lips and then went to go get changed.

All morning as the crew verified passes and checked investigation points, I sat by myself and thought. Mostly about my dream that involved Ryan. I would blush when I thought about it and quickly think about the dream that had woken me up with bruises. I also thought about the beach and the person that had cast a shadow over me.

While roaming around the hotel and mostly just staying out of peoples way I came up with several theories. By the time noon had come I was ready to dish out both on food and with Ryan but he was busy talking it up with a group of people that had shown up for lunch.

There was one guy in particular who would causally glance at me while we ate. I had to admit that he was handsome. I could tell that the had this certain charm and charisma about him even though he was across the room from me.

I wanted to say hi and introduce myself but then I happened to glance at Ryan and I noticed him staring daggars at me. He was completely ignoring his conversation with Elfie and instead he was trying to instigate a silent conversation with me.

Before I could make out what he was trying to say my view was blocked by somebody. I glanced up and noticed it was the stranger with the handsome face and irresistible charm.

"May I sit?" he asked as he pointed at the empty seat beside me. I scooted over in a daze and gave him some space to sit. "I'm Logan, who might you be?"

"Emma," I said a bit taken back by his deep voice. He was so attractive and almost refined for a man that I had not expected his voice to be raspy and so incredibly manly. It reminded me of Ryan's voice. At that thought I turned to find him completely turned around facing the opposite way. Odd.

"What do you do Emma?" I could listen to Logan's voice all day if I could. I would also gladly look at him as well. He had to be at least 6'1 or '2. He had light brown eyes and a winning smile. His broad shoulders just screamed strength and I could have bet my life that under the vest he was wearing he was sporting a swimmers body.

I momentarily forgot his question but I regrouped quickly, "I work for a publishing house back in Pennsylvania." I couldn't help stare at his jaw and I wondered if somebody could actually have a sexy jaw line.

"Pennsylvania is a long way from here," his voice and comment brought me back to the present. Every time he spoke his eyes would glimmer and his smile would become more beautiful.

I glanced back at Ryan but he was gone, "I'm here with a friend," I said and then directed the conversation back to him. "What do you do?"

"I dabble in the paranormal," he smiled and my breath caught somewhere in my throat, "I also do some financing, boring stuff." He causally brought himself closer to me which I would not have noticed if it had been anyone else but all my senses were attuned to him.

"Will you be at the investigation tonight?" I heard myself asking. I was genuinely curious and hopeful.

Logan looked away for a moment and then met my eyes while he spoke, "I don't think Buell would like that too much. I shouldn't really even be here but I couldn't help myself. I saw you sitting here and I knew I had to talk to you."

"Why?" I asked leaning into him. I couldn't stop myself from being intrigued.

"Curiosity," he said simply and smiled but it fell when he looked over my shoulder. For a moment I thought he had seen my bruise but then I heard Ryan's voice.

"Curiosity killed the cat Logan," I hadn't even noticed Ryan standing behind me. I backed my upper body away from Logan as if he was burning oil. I knew I shouldn't have felt guilty for liking him because what I had with Ryan was just casual. Fun. Not serious at all. But I still felt like I had betrayed him someway, even if just in my head.

Logan took my hand in his gently and gave it a soft squeeze, "It was a pleasure meeting you Emma. I will see you soon." He winked and then stood. "Good luck tonight Buell, I apologize for crashing your lunch date." He walked away like he owned the damn place and I just sat there dumbfounded. What had just happened?

**(1)** Archivio Segreto Vaticano: This is actually Italian for Vatican Secret Archives. This is the only official texual branding I could find for any Vatican documents. At least the ones online. A few years ago while the Vatican was remolding the public library they had shut down the online site as well and on the site they branded the documents with a LATIN name. I remember writing that name down but obviously I can't remember it or find it. That text would have been the appropriate text to use but this is a fan fiction and not an actual Dan Brown book or some historical encyclopedia. P.S: _I didn't know why I should have written it down but back then I really thought I would have a use for it in the future. I guess I should have taken that more seriously._

**(2) **Stellan Skarsgard: He is the actor who played the Chief of the Swiss Guard or what ever their official name is, in Angles and Demons; a movie based on Angles and Demons by Dan Brown. This guy basically heads the main security (Swiss Guard) that protects the Pope. The Swiss Guard is known world wide to be the best trained in combat and security defense. You wouldn't want a real life Stellan Skarsgard beating down your door.


	20. Fly

**Incubi: **Sexual 'demons' summoned by a person in order to satisfy sexual needs.

**Emma**

I watched Logan's back as he walked away and wondered what had just happened. I turned around and found an equally conflicted Ryan just standing there trying not to make eye contact with me.

I stood up and tried to close in on him, "Ryan…" I started to say but I was interrupted by Chad walking up to us. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or annoyed. I was stuck between wanting to apologize for just talking to someone and being mad that Ryan had interrupted.

"Time to start Cheif," he said and then added, "was that Rich Boy by the way?"

"Yeah," they didn't bother filling me in on who Rich Boy was. "His team stopped by to say hello."

"Say hello my hairy white ass," Chad walked away to a set of double doors that opened up and on the other side were the waiting fans that were anxious to start the 'investigation'.

I turned to Ryan again but he shrugged his shoulders and started to walk away, "Stay in my team, I don't want anything bad to happen." I nodded and just followed him. I normally wouldn't let anyone just do that to me but I had no idea what I was feeling.

The next few minutes were a blur. We walked out to where about 25 people from all ages were waiting. Chad had already separated them into teams of five and the people chosen to be on Ryan's team were particularly giddy. Ryan thanked them and explained safety and what exactly they would do. He asked that nobody take anything from the hotel or misplace any items. We would be 'investigating' in the hotels basement, two rooms, and the balcony of the Pent House suit where someone had jumped and taken their life.

"Okay…" Chad said handing out small devices to each of the team leaders and asking them to distribute them, "one team goes down to the basement and the other four share the room keys. Good luck and we'll meet back here in two hours."

I jogged to keep up with the team that was heading down to the basement that just happened to be Ryan's. I wasn't particularly excited about starting out here. I was from California, we didn't have basements so everything I knew about them was that they were creepy, dark, and dirty.

Ryan stopped at the door unlocked it and handed two girls two different devices and gave them a brief run down of how to use them. They were practically bouncing off the walls from excitement and I was practically melting into them. I tried to catch Ryan's eyes when he did a sweep of the team but then he turned his back and descended down the stairs first. I was the last one to go down the stairs and unwillingly I clung to the rail. All I could see was a few flashlights pointing this way and that way, non of them actually reaching the back to where I was.

Ryan had as all meet down on the lower level where they kept all the fuses and the floor clear. The team had a chance to spread out but I stayed in my little corner just hugging myself. It was insanely cold down there and despite it being dark I could still see my breath fogging up. Ryan took a moment to talk to the team about what the owners had claimed was down there.

"Overall the owners felt a presence, they felt uncomfortable after a few minutes and then they would run out of here," his deep voice did nothing to sooth me when in most cases I could find comfort in it. I definitely felt watched but I was in a corner and yet somehow I felt watched from behind.

I kept my mouth shut because I knew that one of Ryan's pet peeves was someone who signed up, paid for the bill and then couldn't handle the experience. I had done none of those but I wasn't thinking clearly because there was someone definitely behind me.

I shut my eyes and hugged myself tighter. I could feel my cuff digging into my already tender wrist but I didn't care. I was paralyzed from the terror. Poltergeist my ass. I thought about what Ryan had said about there only being harmless activity in the hotel and scoffed.

I heard a soft humming by my ear and I jumped but I made no noise. Ryan was talking to the team about EMF's but I couldn't give two shits about it. I started to move slowly across the wall to try to get away from the humming. When I would stop I would hear the humming again and I was starting to wonder if I was the only one. Eventually I reached the other side of the room and nobody had bothered to notice me. My head was starting to hurt and something about what Ryan had said suddenly became very relevant. He said high readings of EMF's usually explained headaches and paranoia. But he had said nothing about humming.

Eventually I just cowered into the corner and tried to avoid the humming. It was impossibly loud now and it couldn't have just been me hearing it but nobody else seemed bothered. I noticed I was letting the wall take all of my weight and when I did I popped right back up and headed for the stairs. I wasn't about to pass out in a basement with a bunch of random people trying to find some lost soul.

Before I could get a foot on the stairs I felt someone grab my hand. I looked down but nobody was near me; they were all pointing EMF devices at the control panel near the wall. I shook my head and climbed a few steps before feeling like I was going to be sick. I turned around to maybe call out to Ryan that I needed help. All of the flashlights were pointed at the EMFs so I couldn't tell which one was Ryan or not.

"What are you doing over here?" I heard him say in front of me. I shrieked and jumped back tripping over a step and falling back onto the stairs. I groaned when I hit my head and for a moment I thought I would pass out.

"Are you trying to kill me?" I asked holding my head where I had hit it, "if you are do it now…" I groaned when he pulled me up and helped me steady myself. All of the lights were pointed down at us.

"Don't separate from the group," he said sternly but I rolled my eyes at him.

Quietly so the team wouldn't hear me I whispered, "I was about to pass out from the energy down here and then someone was humming in my ear the whole time. Not to mention someone touched my hand."

His eyes widen and then he looked conflicted again. He had forgotten that I was a lot more sensitive to energy now. It was alright because I had too but bumping my head on the stairs had restored some clarity. Of course I wasn't about to admit that.

"The rooms will be better," he said and hugged me tightly. It was totally unexpected and I felt like we were coming back to us, "you can wait outside while we finish in here." I nodded and despite me being okay now he still walked me out.

Before going back in he closed the space between us and gave me a small peck on the lips. He gave me a small smile and turned around to get back to work. I floated in the air for a while before coming back down and sitting on the floor holding my head in-between my hands. I still had a headache and bumping my head on the stairs hadn't helped but I could feel it becoming less and less painful.

"Hey what are you doing out here?" I heard Chad ask and I nearly jumped out of my skin. His whole group was staring at me and I didn't want to give the impression that I couldn't handle the experience when that was exactly it.

"I had something bad to eat," I said automatically but I instantly regretted it when some of the younger girls in his group giggled. I rolled my eyes and stood up. I leaned against the wall for support and tried to look normal.

Chad separated from the group and came over to me blocking me from the people in his group. "Why are you really down here?" he asked me knowingly.

"The energy down there is ridiculous," I whispered, "I couldn't handle it." He looked sympathetic for a moment and then excited at the prospect of activity in the basement. "Besides, someone kept humming in my ear, it was annoying me."

Instinct made him look at my ear but then he looked lower at my scarf and gasped. I covered up quickly and hoped that no one else had seen the bruise.

"Who did that?" he asked trying to control the anger in his words.

"We don't know," I said including Ryan. I knew Chad wasn't accusing him but I just wanted to clarify, "I just woke up with those."

Chad met my eyes and then suggested, "Night terrors?" I shook my head and then explained that Ryan had been there the entire time, I hadn't hurt myself. "Well then you know what this means?"

"You're thinking Incubus?" I said because that's what I had been thinking but I doubted that it could be a possibility.

"Yeah," He said rubbing the back of his neck as his face turned red, "were you having you know…kinky dreams."

I blushed because that was the reason I had thought about Incubus as well. "Maybe," I said looking away, "but I've never heard of one hurting a human right off the bat, besides I didn't call one to me."

"Listen," Chad said and he went into investigator mode, "the succubus and incubus territory of the paranormal is probably one of the less studied, less known about territories. Something that is studied by parapsychologists and psychologists alike is that we tend to want things we haven't had in a long time and that can translate into the paranormal."

"Are you saying I asked for this?" I wasn't offended but he was ruffling up my feathers a bit by his insinuation that I hadn't gotten laid and there for I had called an incubus to satisfy me.

"I don't know your life sweetheart," he shrugged, "I'm just saying that it's a possibility. You may have called upon one without realizing it. I don't know about the bruises but people have said that they tend to be rough demons. I just always assumed they were like that because the person who called them liked those kinds of things."

I blushed and turned around to take a breather. I walked down the hall and back up it a couple times to try to clear my head. I wasn't sexually frustrated but Ryan and I were progressing pretty quickly for people who had realized they really really liked each other in one day. There was a chance I could have felt some kind of frustration and being in a hotel that was generally occupied by the other worldly could have made it easier for something like that to happen. That didn't explain the bruises though.

"Done," Ryan announced opening the door to the basement. His eyes searched for me as I was on the other side of the hall pacing. He came straight to me and grabbed my hand. Without saying a thing he looked at me concerned. He was wondering if I was okay. I only smiled in return and he smiled back tugging at me. He didn't let go as we and the team made our way up to the rooms.

We had gotten lucky because the Pent House was one of the haunted rooms and it had stay unoccupied this week.

We checked the first room which was one like the one Ryan and I shared. I felt perfectly fine throughout the whole thing but Ryan insisted on keeping an eye on me. I knew we had agreed to keep whatever was going on between us a secret but he was making it very obvious that he cared for me in ways that were beyond friendly.

He would walk by me constantly and push my hair back as he hugged me close while he thought that his team wasn't looking. More often than not he would touch my hand and whisper to me if I was alright. I blushed the entire time and almost avoided him so that his team would stop looking at us.

By the time we were done with that room I was almost positive that I was sexually frustrated now. That man could turn me on and my lady parts hated him for it.

"Finally," Ryan announced as his team gathered around him and the double doors that led into the Pent House, "the activity in this room ranges from full body apparitions, moving objects, people talking, lights going on an off, doors closing and what makes this room unique is the history behind it. In the late 1940's during World War II the wife of a general in the army jumped off the railing after finding out that her husband had died in battle. This will be the perfect place to conduct an EVP session."

He opened the doors to the room and instantly I felt a sort of dread emitting from it. I looked at everyone else and they didn't seem as put off as I was by it. I could tell that sadness was a constant presence in this room because it felt engraved on the walls and the furniture; it felt almost suffocating. I found myself walking over to the balcony with a sense of resignation that I had never felt. The doors were already opened so I walked out onto the ledge on my own. I could see part of old Miami and the new resort style that we were currently in.

But the balcony looked out into the Atlantic where the breeze was coming from. The room smelled like old wood and beach. It was filled with the sounds of the crashing waves and the clattering feet of the team as they hurried through the room trying to catch apparitions and other ghostly things. I clutched the railing and breathed in the salty breeze. I had never felt so alive and so dead at the same time.

I imagined myself in a long dress and the wind blowing it out around me in random directions. I could picture myself bare feet and completely natural looking. As someone ready to meet the sand between their toes with nothing to stand between them. I leaned against the railing trying to come closer to the worlds edge. My hair would blow around my face easily as I stepped onto the bottom railing. I could see my arms extending out like a bird trying to catch the right breeze. If I leaned in a bit more I could plunge into the depths of the ocean and feel the icy cold water envelope me like a mothers embrace or the sweet caress of a lover lost.

I pushed my upper body closer to the railing and inhaled as a strong wind picked up encouraging me to follow it. Before I could push up with my legs I felt two strong arms encircle me and I knew that my lover had returned from overseas. When I looked back I saw Ryan and a worried pair of teenagers behind him. He lifted me off of the railing and walked me back into the room. I was confused, like someone had hit me on the head again.

"What….are you insane?" he almost yelled. I flinched back but I didn't respond. Was I crazy? I was about to jump off the balcony and if Ryan hadn't pulled me back I would have. "Emma," he said frantically trying to shake me as if I was sleeping. His fingers were digging into my arms and the pain startled me.

I pushed him off of me and backed away, "I need some air," I said and walked out of the room and to the elevator. I didn't look back to see if he was coming after me or staying with his team but I didn't care. I dug around for my phone in my pocket and dialed Michelle's number.

"Hey how's Spring Break?" she asked when she picked up, "did you get me a thong like I asked you too?"

"I almost jumped off a balcony," I said and leaned against the elevator wall. "I wasn't myself. I thought I was the lady who had killed herself. I was her…does that make sense?"

"Oddly enough yes," she explained, "sometimes when you enter someone's living space and touch objects that were significant to them you can feed off of the energy they left."

"I think I lost it when I touched the railing," I walked out of the elevator and into the lobby. I looked for the sign that said gardens and headed in that direction. "I didn't know I could do that Michelle." I tried to stop myself from shaking but I couldn't help it. I felt like if I stopped walking I would pass out.

"Neither did I until I was much older. Are you okay?" she asked. I could hear the concern in her words and felt comforted by it.

"I think I'm just a little shaken up," I found the gardens and bypassed them to go straight to the sand, "If Ryan hadn't pulled me back I would have been dead right now."

I remembered the look of desperation on his face as he pulled me back from the outside, the fear in the girls eyes who hours before had been giddy over meeting Ryan and the team. I sat on the sand and looked out into the ocean. How could this day be any worse I wondered?

"I don't think I can handle this Michelle," I said, "I used to like the paranormal, when I wasn't subjected to painful nightmares and memory possession. I don't know how long I can last before I'm too scared to look at my own shadow."

She didn't respond right away and I started to think that I really was screwed, "It's like learning how to walk all over again. You'll get better at all this if you play by your own rules Emma. Take your time. You have control. Don't let it control you just because you can't see or feel the paranormal. I understand that you'll need help and time and that's quite alright. You are not alone, we will help you get through this."

"It's not fair," I said feeling one single tear fall down my face, "I didn't ask for this."

"I know sweetheart, I know."


	21. I lied

**Emma**

After an hour I knew I should have gone back and apologized. Thirty minutes after that I knew I should have gone up to my room and waited for Ryan. After two hours I just wanted to crawl into the sand and die. I was mad at myself, at Ryan, at Lorraine. I could feel myself becoming invisible and I wondered why what ever it was that wanted me dead hadn't already come to take me away already. This was their chance, I was laying there lifeless as could be and nothing.

No giant wave came to pull me into the depths of the ocean. No one came onto the beach with a gun threatening to kill me if I didn't give them money. No one wanted me dead when I felt like giving up the most.

"It's so unfair," I said getting up and whipping the sand off my legs and butt. I looked back at the hotel and wondered if Ryan was so mad at me that he was refusing to see if I was okay or still alive. For gods sake I had been gone two hours. I was an emotional wreck right now and when I needed him the most he wasn't there. I decided to stay a little longer to get myself under control.

I walked to the waters edge and let the afternoon water touch my feet. I didn't want to be mad at him; he was probably just giving me space. I kicked the water around a bit trying to get it to my ankles. He still should have checked on me though, another part of my brain said. I walked into my knees and sighed. I was his guest on a work trip, he didn't have to check on me. I was just his roommate who he was having a small thing with, not his girlfriend.

"Going for a swim?" someone said behind me and I spun around hoping to find Ryan but instead I found Logan there with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.

I shook my head and tried to speak but I couldn't so I just looked at him dumbly. Logan walked closer to the edge of the water until he was standing directly to my side, knees deep in ocean.

"I've heard you had quite the day," he said looking at me concerned.

"How did you find out?" I asked panicking. Did everyone know? Was I Ryan's crazy friend now?

"Buell was running some damage control earlier and I couldn't help but snoop," he saw my face turn red and right as I was going to leave he grabbed my hand. "Hey I didn't want you to worry, everything calmed down and if you go back there looking like someone who almost jumped off of a balcony, you're going to ruin Buell's work."

I stopped trying to move and just looked at his hand that was still holding mine. He let it go after a while and smiled at me. I didn't know what to do except return the smile nervously.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Not really," I said quickly. I did but not with him. He seemed so genuinely concerned and nice but I didn't know him. He was handsome and kind but the way Ryan looked at him earlier had me a bit worried about his intentions.

He nodded and looked down. He turned around and groaned when he noticed something behind us. I turned and found Ryan standing with his arms crossed over his chest looking at me like I had three heads.

"Such a cock block," I heard Logan say loud enough for only me to hear. I couldn't help but giggle but I stopped when I saw Ryan step forward and look at Logan like he wanted to rip his head off. I stepped out of the water and reached for Ryan.

"Thank you for talking to me Logan," I said and pulled Ryan back to where my shoes were, "I'm glad someone offered to keep me company." I knew I was mostly saying what I was to make Ryan feel a little bad and it was working because he looked at me with sad eyes. "Goodnight Logan."

I pulled at Ryan with all my strength and when he started cooperating I let go. We didn't speak as we walked through the lobby or in the elevator. When we got to our room I walked so fast to my drawers and took out a change of clothes that he didn't even have time to say a word before I was in the bathroom. I decided to take a quick shower and shave, shampoo and condition twice. I took my time combing my hair and plucking my eyebrows. I went through my nighttime routine and changed slowly.

When I came out of the bathroom I hoped that Ryan had fallen asleep but I'd been hoping in vain because I found him sitting on the couch looking directly at me.

"I'm sorry," I said nervously. I stood by the door like a child ready to be punished.

I was shocked when I saw his face crumble and become tired looking. He stood up and walked over to me to hug me tightly. He buried his face in my neck and I could feel him breathing me in as if he was afraid I would disappear. I laid my cheek on his chest and let one tear fall down, just one.

"Come here," he pulled me over to the bed and helped me up on it. I laid down and waited for him to take his shoes off to join me. He pulled the covers over us and pulled me close to him under them. "I was really scared today, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

I started to say sorry again but he stopped me with a kiss. He could interrupt me anytime if that was the way he was planning to do it. He smoothed my still wet hair out and ran his fingers through it as he continued to kiss me gently.

"What happened?" he asked after a while, "up in the room…how did I almost lose you?" I knew that behind those words there was more than fear that he could have lost his friend but I was even more afraid to ask him about it.

I shook my head and looked at my hand on his chest, "I don't know. It was like I was someone else, I wanted to end the hurt."

He pulled me into him tighter to the point where all I could do was just close my eyes and smell his cologne. My senses were filled with everything Ryan from the contours of his muscles around me and the sound of his heart beat that I could hear and feel under my hand. I had been just as close to losing him as he had been to losing me.

I gasped and looked up at him. He met my eyes and I knew that I had lied to him. I wanted more with him than I had let on. I wanted to say it but I couldn't find the words so I just kissed him again. He was surprised and confused I could tell but he kissed me back anyway. There was a moment of hesitance where he wasn't sure what kind of kiss it was but he took a risk and covered my body with his.

It wasn't like I had a new sense of appreciation for my life but I didn't want to lose anymore time with him. I wouldn't see him until Halloween which was still two weeks away. So I took advantage of our time together now. I spread my legs under him and let him move in closer to me. I knew I was throwing up a big white flag up but I still pulled away and met his eyes.

"I thought you didn't want anything too serious," I wanted to say that I was seriously in love with him but I snapped out of my momentary lapse of logic long enough to come up with less cliché words.

I choked down my nervous giggle and replied with, "this feels good, it feels right." He nodded and I was glad he agreed. I was glad I wasn't the only one feeling 'it'.

* * *

><p><strong>Can we all just assume they had sex? Loving, caring, gentle sex? There are people running around my house right now and I don't feel like writing a sex scene especially since this was hard enough to write considering how wrong it felt to write about Ryan in his current state.<strong>

**I'll write a nice considerate love scene soon. Maybe two ;) Perhaps more if I'm up for it. I highly suggest you go and follow SKYSANE for actual R-NC-17 one shots or short stories.**


	22. The Truth

**I said they wouldn't see each other in two weeks in the last chapter, I meant one week. Sorry for that.**

* * *

><p><strong>Ryan<strong>

I awoke feeling Emma's naked body half on top of me. Her arm was draped across my chest and one of her legs was over mine. I could smell her hair and her natural perfume. It clouded my senses and for a moment it made me feel so peaceful that I could have fallen asleep again but I had to see her.

I opened my eyes to see that she was still asleep. She breathed in and out quietly, so low I would have thought she wasn't breathing if it wasn't for her rising chest pressed up against my ribs. I moved the hair that had fallen on her face away and behind her ear. The best thing about Emma was that she was a heavy sleeper. Well…there were a lot of things better about her but this was especially good when you lived with a night owl that made a lot of noise, or a lover who just wanted to watch you sleep in all your beauty.

I heard her take in a deep breath and scoot closer into me, her leg tightening around mine and her arm hugging me closer. Her lips pouted as I wondered what she was dreaming about. I looked over at the clock on the nightstand and realized we had only slept for four hours, well…only I had slept four hours.

We were leaving today to separate places, her back home and me to San Francisco only to end up in Los Angeles at the end of the week. A week seemed forever from now. I wanted to see her everyday.

A noise to my right alerted me and I looked over only to find my sight become blurry. At first I thought it was a head rush but then I heard, _Keep her safe._

I gasped and sat straight up forgetting about Emma next to me. She woke with a start and clutched the sheet around her.

"What's wrong?" she asked trying not to panic. I was having a hard time relaxing my face, I didn't want her to worry but my heart was beating fast and my head was pounding. She took my hand and grasped it tightly, "Ryan are you okay?"

I nodded and got out of the bed not realizing what she might think. I looked up at her and saw her clutching the sheet tighter and looking away. She thought I didn't want to be near her. I quickly climbed back in the bed and held her close.

"I'm sorry I startled you," I said leaning back and taking her face in my hands so that I could look her in the eye, "I just had a bad nightmare, I'm sorry."

She nodded and tried to blink away the tears that would have fallen had I not gotten myself together. I lifted her chin and kissed her lightly. It was a 'forgive me' kiss. I didn't intend to take more than I was allowed.

"You're a horrible liar," she said into the kiss and then smiled, "but I don't care." I was shocked but then she ran her fingers through my hair and pulled me down on top of her. "Just please don't make me feel that way again," her eyes pleaded with me so I nodded. I kissed her, a bit harder this time and pressed myself against her letting her know I wanted her to feel other things.

She giggled and pressed back as if she was challenging me. I took her hands and held them above her which immediately stopped her laughter. A look of pure sexual need overtook her, a look I had seen many times last night and early this morning. I leaned down and captured her lips with my own. She was so sweet and so delicate but she kissed back like a fighter, someone with nothing to lose.

One thing I had learned about her was that she was a screamer and a moaner. It turned me on beyond belief when she moaned in between kisses. I didn't have to wonder if what I was doing was right because those sweet erotic sounds she made let me know exactly how much she loved it. I kissed my way down her neck and back up behind her ear. She started giggling again, I had found her tickle spot. She tried to push me away from there with her chest since I was still holding her hands together. I groaned, she didn't know what she was doing to me.

"Tsk tsk tsk," I said letting go of her hands and smiling down at her, "you don't even know what you do to me."

She laughed showing off her beautiful smile and gorgeous eyes. The way the morning light was hitting her took my breath away.

"I think I know exactly what I do to you," she said and looked down at our lower bodies. I was wearing my boxers but it was clear what she meant. I checked her and grinned when her own breath caught.

"Glad to know I cause the same effect," she took my hand and set it beside her head. She leaned up and captured my lips. We rolled around until she was on top and straddling me. I pulled the sheet down but she didn't even seem fazed, here was a woman whose confidence only aroused me more.

"Is it weird that I want to tell you that I love you?" she asked, her cheeks reddened and her hands tickled my chest in a tantalizing way.

"I think you would regret it later," she nodded, "I'm glad you're not afraid to let me know what's on your mind." She leaned down and laid on my chest. Her naked chest on mine. I hugged her to me and I promised right then and there that I would do anything to keep her safe.

**Emma**

I paced back and forth in the kitchen of the house Ryan and I had shared for a short time. I didn't look at the envelope with the insurance money or at the calendar that had the 30th marked with a bright red marker. My life had taken many turns from the moment I had left Pennsylvania to Miami and then back. Ryan and I had said our goodbyes for the moment and I had gotten on a plane back to reality. Reality wasn't so bad when your future held Ryan Buell in it.

The envelope had been waiting for me when I arrived but I hadn't opened it. I didn't want to make a decision before I talked to Ryan first. We were more than friends now, I wasn't sure how he would feel about us still living together so for the moment I just set it aside.

I would have to take a flight out tomorrow to Los Angeles to meet with Ryan and see the Halloween lock down that they had planned, I was done with participating. There would be a ton of fans, everyone from Michelle to Lorraine, and one other person that was the reason I was pacing back and forth.

"I have a life you know?" Michelle said from the speaker in the phone machine. I had her on the phone with me and my cell phone in my hands waiting to dial.

"I'm just nervous okay?" I looked down and dialed but I didn't press the send button, "I haven't talked to him in ages, he probably hates me. He probably won't go. And then what?"

"And then you move on Emma," Michelle said sympathetically, "because at least you'll know he hates you."

I rolled my eyes and tried not to point out that her words weren't making me feel better. I took a deep breath and got closer to the phone machine where Michelle had promised to stay silent.

I pressed the dial button and waited for the ringing to stop. I waited to hear his voice again, the voice of my best friend who I had almost lost.

"Hello?" he said onto the line. I exhaled, at least he had taken my call.

"Eric?" I said, "it's me, Emma."

"I know," he was silent for a while. "How are you?"

"Fine, I know we haven't spoken in a while…" my voice faded hoping he'd catch my drift. I heard him sigh.

"I wasn't ready."

"Are you now?" I heard him chuckle and just say uh-huh. This was Eric. Simple and to the point.

"I'm going to be in Los Angeles tomorrow, my uh…boyfriend is having a sort of conference there. I was wondering if you, I don't know it's just an idea, maybe you could-"

"Emma," he said interrupting me, "I'll be there."

"Thank you Eric," I said and noticed that the light on the phone machine where Michelle had been listening had turned off.

"I missed you," he said while I walked over to the calendar and smiled.

"I missed you too."

"Flight to Los Angeles first class passengers, first call," I heard the attendant call. I arched my neck over the crowd and tried to find Michelle. We had a connecting flight and we happened to have the same layover. I couldn't wait to see her and talk her ear off.

"Boo," a familiar voice said behind me. I turned and dropped my carry on in order to hug my friend properly. Michelle was decked out in her black attire but there was something different. It was less Gothic, more…classy vampire type look.

"I love your outfit," I said grabbing her hand and walking over to the chairs until Business was called.

"I took a page out of your book," she said. They talked for a while about Eric, Ryan, the envelope. They avoided her obvious problem but it had become habit for them to do it. When they were on the plane Michelle turned to look at me and sighed. "We have to talk about it."

"I know," I didn't look at her. Instead I tapped the screen in front of me even though it wouldn't stop the movie from playing. "I was hoping it was gone."

"So the attacks haven't stopped?" Michelle asked looking weary.

"They have I just…" I trailed off trying to find the word, "I feel watched all the time. I can't sleep because I have nightmares, I wake up half naked almost every night and I always call out for Ryan."

"Naked?" Michelle almost screamed. I sunk into my seat and tried not to look at the elderly lady beside them in the next isle. "Sorry, I meant_**…**naked?"_

"Seriously?" I asked looking at her with wide eyes. Michelle shrugged and went back to eying me in order to continue. "Yes naked, I don't even move when I sleep. I keep getting all of these bruises in random places I can't reach. I'm starting to think it really is an incubus."

"It doesn't make sense though," Michelle said sitting back into her chair, "unless…no."

"Unless?" I asked urgently. I wanted an answer.

"Maybe it's trying a different angle," she said cryptically. "Trying to get at you through different methods since trying to kill you off isn't working."

"I don't know," I said pulling my legs up onto the seat, "ever since that lucid nightmare things haven't been the same. I feel stronger and it must feel it so its attacks have changed."

"That too," Michelle agreed. "Hey Ryan and I talked about something and I'm not going to lie to you okay. He wanted me to ease you into it but I might as well just let you know."

"What," I asked panicking, "what is it?"

"Well he found that the only way you might be able to get rid of this is through an exorcism or maybe just opening up and seeing what it wants." Before she was finished speaking I was already shaking my head. No more exorcisms. No more pain.

"I don't know Michelle," I said crossing my arms and looked away, "those two options are very dangerous. I wouldn't know who to trust for an exorcism and opening myself up could just lead to more trouble."

"I know," she grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. "What ever you chose, we'll be here for you."

I wasn't sure who to search for, Eric or Ryan but I kept an eye out for both of them. Ryan knew I was meeting my best friend here at The Roosevelt hotel in Los Angeles and Eric knew he would be meeting my 'boyfriend'. I had just hoped that I could meet them separately before they were introduced.

Once upon a time I had had a serious thing for Eric and I wanted to make sure that there was no residue of those serious feelings. That when I saw him I would be able to fully commit to Ryan. I hadn't told anyone about this insecurity of course. I wasn't one of those girls that could be sure just by looking at their current relationships. I was very positive about my feelings for Ryan but that wasn't cutting it for me. I wanted to be 100% sure.

"You're fidgeting like a 5 year old kid," Michelle complained next to me. I had asked her to leave and go to her room so that I could have my space but she wanted to meet Eric and see Ryan so I couldn't shake her off.

"Then leave…" I hissed at her crossing my arms and looking out into the lobby. Not only was she whining next to me but every five seconds a fan would come up to her for autographs and pictures. This hotel was Paranormal State central.

Michelle laughed, took a picture with a woman and her child and then whispered loudly, "No," as she signed a copy of her book.

"Emmy cakes," someone with a deep familiar voice said behind me. I spun around and shrieked as I jumped into Eric's arms that were waiting outstretched for me. I pulled away from him after a moment and looked at him for the first time in what felt like a life time. I loved him, I missed him, I adored this man but…all in the same way as Ryan? I wasn't sure. "You look different…" he said taking me in as I took him in.

"You do too," he had grown a very manly beard that he kept nicely groomed and had packed on quite a bit of muscle. He was every girls fantasy guy, their prince charming. "I'm glad you came Eric."

"I'm glad I did too," his eyes glinted and he smiled. I knew there was more to those things that I wanted to know. My head was already filled with a million questions about the last five seconds and I couldn't begin to wonder what he was thinking. Thankfully Michelle chose that moment to make her presence known.

"Michelle Belanger, nice to meet you," Michelle extended her hand and Eric shook it gently. He was smiling at her like he had known her all of his life. "I've heard wonderful things about you."

"That's good to hear," he said looking back down at me as I bit my lip, "I guess I'll spend the rest of tonight getting to know you better Michelle. What do you say we have dinner tonight while this one reunites with her boyfriend." I elbowed him in the ribs while Michelle broke out in laughter. Somewhere in between her giggles she agreed.

We spent the better half of the next two hours catching up and just talking together. Michelle would join us in between meeting her fans. An hour after that I was starting to worry about where Ryan and the rest of the crew was. It was a few hours drive from San Francisco to Los Angeles but they were pushing it now. I would still have to wait for Ryan to meet his fans and after that he would need to secure some things for tomorrow. I wanted my time with him.

"Hey," Eric said taking my hand, "I think you need your rest, how about you go to your room and just wait for your guy there. I'm kinda tired anyway and I need to get ready for my date."

"Your date?" I asked looking over at Michelle who was talking to someone who had read her book, "that serious eh?"

Eric laughed and stood, "Nah, but she seems interesting. Go on, we'll talk more tomorrow." He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek but I had also leaned up to hug him. The result could have been devastating but quick thinking made us move quickly and he ended up kissing me on the nose. We laughed nervously for a minute before I walked over to Michelle and excused myself for the night.

When I entered the room Ryan had reserved for us, Sergey and Michelle I gasped. He had the pent house in one of the oldest hotels in Los Angeles. One side of the room was for Ryan and I and the other for Sergey and Michelle to share. We could have our privacy without being interrupted or walked in on which was great because I hadn't seen Ryan in a week and we would need all the spare time possible.

I walked to our room and gasped again. I loved four poster beds and views and our room had a fantastic view. It was overlooking the Chinese Theater below where the walk of fame was.

I lay on the bed for a while resting from the long plane ride. I heard Michelle come in and get ready for dinner and I wondered if I should order in but I was too exhausted. I closed my eyes for a moment and just relaxed.

I was on the balcony. I wasn't trying to jump or climb over the railing, I was just looking out into the clear blue ocean. I looked down at the sand and felt a little jolt of electricity course through my body when I realized how high up I was. I should have been afraid but I wasn't. Was I dead? Had it finally won? It felt so wonderful to be up here. So close to heaven.

"Not yet," a male voice said behind me. I turned around quickly and backed away into the railing. I wasn't alone. An old man sat on the bed looking over at me. A bowlers hat sat on his lap and a small smile on his face. "It's not your time yet." He spoke with an angelic voice that gave me shivers and quickened my heart beat. I was scared of this man and I was fond of him as well. I walked closer and realized he wasn't old. He didn't have one wrinkle, one freckle, one single crows eye.

Instead of asking him who he was I asked, "What are you?"

The man…or whatever he was smiled and stood slowly. There was a certain energy about him, it was palpable in the air and I could feel it in my lungs, it surrounded me.

"That's always the question is it not?" I wanted to feel stupid, I wanted to feel like I had asked something inappropriate but I couldn't. I wanted to know. The man sighed and walked closer to the balcony but he was still inside the room. "Emma do you want to know why you have come so close to dying?" he asked instead of answering my question. It felt like we had little time, like I was intruding on his space and time.

I nodded even though he couldn't see me but I knew somehow he would know. "It's my fault. I meddled in a human's life." He turned around and found me looking as confused as I could be. "Your grandmother was a devote follower. One of the purest souls I have met. When she had your mother she became ill and I looked after her. During the last days of a persons life we are allowed to console them using different methods. Your grandmother didn't need any console. She was ready to cross over but she wanted above anything for her daughter to be healthy and live. She wanted her daughter to be protected and I made a very rare vow for my kind. To protect and look after every descendent of your grandmother. Including you."

I had a guess about what he was now but…how could this be a real? This was a dream…wasn't it?

"Unlike our maker," he looked over and sadly looked at me like I was missing something, "we don't know how certain events will pan out. I don't know what I was thinking, I should not have stopped….." he took a deep breath, "you wouldn't have died Emma. You would have lived and healed, I didn't know that then and it is something you are now paying for."

I walked over and stood next to him. He didn't look like any angel I had ever imagined. The ones I dreamed about and pictured were never dressed in a dark suit. They never looked so pained.

"This is my punishment," he said simply, "I will have to earn my wings back."

"Will you be in trouble? For telling me this?" He nodded. I wanted to reach for his hand and tell him that I was thankful for him saving my life but I didn't know what would happen if I touched him.

"Of course he knows everything," he smiled, "he's very kind and very strict. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't right."

"I don't understand some things," I said. "You weren't trying to kill me…" he shook his head, "then who was?"

"When you defy death you must pay. A balance was broken and it is just trying to restore itself. But He will not allow it." I noticed he had not mentioned exactly who He was but I had always known He was whoever we believed in and my guardian angel was respecting that.

"Will it? Will this all end with me dying?" I asked strangely okay with that.

"No," he said and took my hand. It was like touching light. This is what no gravity must feel like I imagined, "otherwise I would have waited until your death to tell you all of this." He turned my palm over and felt the beat of my heart through my wrist. I couldn't breathe but I didn't seem to need the oxygen anymore. "I'm here to tell you it's over and you will not be hunted anymore. The nightmares will stop, the bruises will fade, and one day you will see me with my wings again." He smiled brightly as a tear escaped my eye. I really hoped he could get them back.

"There are some things that won't change however," he looked apologetic. "you have been exposed to things before your time and unfortunately you'll have to live with those new changes. But there will always be someone to help you along and you'll never be alone Emma."

"I don't want you to go," I said desperately trying to stop the tears but not being able to. My emotions were completely out of control. He shook his head and said something like _I'll always be there._ He was already fading away into the balcony. I followed him until I was falling over the edge.

I awoke drenched in sweat and screaming. It was dark inside the room but I could tell there were people in the living area. I clutched my racing heart through my shirt afraid I would have a heart attack. Coming back here seemed like I had fallen from heaven down to hell. Like I had been in complete light and awoken in darkness which in a sense I had.

I heard someone enter the room in a hurry and sit on the bed trying to get me to turn around but I was still reeling. I realized I kept saying oh my god in between breaths and every other curse word I knew. When I heard Ryan's worried voice breaking through my thoughts I sat upright and looked at him like I had never seen him before. He stopped asking me what was wrong and took in my features. I must have looked like I'd seen a ghost because he stood and looked around the room trying to find the thing that had tried to kill me. But it was gone. It was never coming back. How could I tell Ryan and not sound like I was crazy?

Oh yeah, I met my guardian angel and he stopped me from seriously hurting myself. He lost his wings because he had screwed with the balance of life. It's okay now, lets go have dinner.

I cracked a smile but hid it when he looked back at me. If I started laughing now he would lock me away in an insane asylum. No wonder angels didn't just show themselves to everyone.

I reached for Ryan and held his hand in the same one that my angel had touched. The sensation Ryan's hand gave me was nearly the same in a much smaller intensity.

"I'm okay now…" I said, "it's over, it was just a bad dream."

"Are you sure?" he asked sitting back on the bed behind me. I was still drenched in sweat but he didn't seemed bothered by it. "You scared the living hell out of me and everyone outside."

"Sorry," I whispered closing my eyes, "I'm just so relieved you're here." I really was. My heart rate was going back to normal and I was no longer hyperventilating. "Ryan…" he mumbled yes behind me while he hugged me tighter, "It's over, it's done."

"What?" he asked. I could hear the panic in his voice, "what's over, exactly?"

"My problem," I said looking behind me and finding his eyes, "trust me." He stared at me for a few long seconds trying to find the truth in my eyes. He must have because he kissed me gently and when we separated he nodded. "Thank you, for keeping me safe."

"I'll always keep you safe, I promise." Something in what he said struck a cord and I started to cry again. Happy tears. Ryan seemed a bit taken a back and maybe a little unsure of what to do but he just scooted closer and hugged me tighter.

**Remember, reviews are like getting paid to write when you don't get paid.**


	23. Chapter 23

Greetings to anyone who opened this expecting to find a new chapter but I hate to disappoint. I wanted to explain the reason I have been M.I.A these past 8+ months. I also wanted to tell anyone still reading any of my stories that I'm not done writing.

Life throws you curve balls and even the most experienced players can miss a few. Last December I planned to continue writing but I left to visit my sister and when I came back the words just wouldn't flow. Some did but I didn't want to post half assed work on here. Not that my work is fantastic or anything it just didn't feel right. I took the liberty to be lazy and I decided to take a few weeks to myself. Turns out my family went through a rough patch financially and I wouldn't have internet for who knew how long.

Anyway that's the short version of events. I figured we were going to get internet back fast so I didn't bother writing. When we didn't get it back I figured I wouldn't write until we did. Then my friend called and told me they were hiring at her job and if I wanted her to set me up with an interview. I said yes, I got the job and moved out with her. I'm worse than broke right now but my family is thankfully in a better place.

I'm only here (my old house) until tomorrow and writing this on my mothers laptop. I have important things to save up for. Like a place of my own. I plan to go to school next year and many of you know that in this day and age it's almost impossible to go without owning a laptop. After getting my own place, a laptop is on my list of things to save up for. Only then will I be able to recommit to fanfiction.

These stories are my babies. They've seen me grow up. I've written when I couldn't speak to anyone and some of you have read when you couldn't do anything else. I'm finishing them I just can't give you guys a date that I can say _this is when I'm coming back._ Thank you for the recent reviews and reads my stories have gotten. I think of you guys often. I hope you don't give up on me.

-Maria


End file.
